


Settle Down

by MayaThisIsMadness



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: "Platonic" bedsharing at one point, Also missions, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, But still klance fluff, Canon Compliant, Fluff, I think it's more light hearted than it sounds, M/M, Much friendship, Much season one, PINING KEITH, Self-Hatred, So bonding, This was me keeping myself sane over hiatus, keith is sad, touch starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 51,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9242924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayaThisIsMadness/pseuds/MayaThisIsMadness
Summary: Basically season one from Keith's pov as he overcomes anxiety, insecurity, and falls in love.   It follows canon events but is mostly all the in between moments that we didn't see but could have happened.  Ranges from fluff to angst to fun and stuff.





	1. Deserted

**Author's Note:**

> “And you're sure that I'd learn  
> I'm pushing through bodies  
> Avoiding me and walking 'round you.  
> And you're cold and I burn  
> I guess I'll never learn  
> 'Cause I stay another hour or two”  
> -“Settle Down”, The 1975

Eight days. That's how long Keith had been on his own. Not the longest he'd ever been on his own, but it was coming close.

Ten days ago he had begun executing his carefully prepared plan to steal a fighter plane from the Garrison and start his search for Shiro and he got quite far along with it too. He had been sitting in the pilot's seat, checking controls, about ready to request permission for take off under the cover of an authorized training session, when an authoritative and carefully angry voice came through the ship's radio to tell him that he was very much not going anywhere.

Nine days ago he was packing up what little belongings he had at the garrison, all of which filled one single bag and consisted mostly of clothing.

Nine days ago he was leaving the garrison and his future behind. He'd planned, of course, for a failure as well. There was no way he was letting one failure cast aside his extensive training and throw him back into the system. He knew if he let that happen, his whole future would be stagnant. Sure he could maybe make it as an engineer and still achieve in life, but without flying, he would never really be satisfied. And besides, he needed to get Shiro back.

He had set up a plan that involved many forged legal documents and one bribe, which cost him over half of the money he had saved up over his whole life. It involved the garrison receiving notice that there was a family willing to accept him and the interception of any outgoing paperwork, emails, and even calls regarding Keith Kogane. He arranged to be essentially erased from Garrison records and agency records.

Eight days ago he was walking the streets of a small town in Arizona, just outside the airport he had been delivered to. There would be a call eight hours later from a guy acting as a caseworker saying that Keith was in The System's hands now, and then he would be free.

Eight days ago he spent what little money he had left on a bus to the desert near the Garrison where he had found an abandoned park ranger shack. It had stored up food supplies to last him at least three years if he rationed; he didn't really eat much anyway. He also prepared sleeping arrangements and discovered a well nearby and stole a small water treatment kit from one of the chemistry labs at the Garrison.

He really had planned everything to the point despite being usually, what his instructors called, "a little reckless". He acted on instinct and only thought before acting when he thought he wouldn't be able to just improvise, which was very rarely.

Now he was living out his backup plan. He'd only had seven packs out of his dehydrated food storage and he was already sick of grainy mashed potatoes and plain corn.

He had begun his own routine, mirroring that of the Garrison’s morning schedule. Got up at four and ran, then took all of the Ranger’s store of canteens to the well and purified it, then got back around seven and went through his workout routine which ended around nine. He spent the rest of the day reading and waiting for seven when he ate dinner.

It was eleven at night and Keith was staring up at the ceiling, wondering if he'd get to sleep or have another sleepless night like the one before. His eyelids were sticking to his eyeballs with every blink but his mind wasn't caught up with his body. Thoughts stormed through his brain, pulling his anxieties from his subconscious and throwing them into his face.

_What if he never found Shiro? What if he needed more food? Would he steal? Try to get a job? If he got a job he'd feel grounded. He'd be stuck on earth. He wouldn't have time to look for Shiro and he'd be lost forever. He could die. He could already be dead. And it's all Keith's fault. All Keith's fault. He needs to look for him. But what if he can't find him? What if…_

Keith put his hands over his eyes and tried to push them into his head. Maybe if he pushed hard enough his brain would decide to just shut down. He was straining himself to relax when he felt it.

It was like a knot in his stomach, like a tug inside him pulling him to some unknown destination. It felt… familiar.

He suddenly recalled a memory from before he was accepted to the academy for Garrison bound young children. His adoptive (as they told him at the age of five) family had been on their way back from a vacation that had been longer than they anticipated. It went from the expected two weeks to over a month and Keith and his older brother, Joe, had been increasingly anxious and ready to be home. They had just pulled up in their minivan and his parents had given Joe the keys to run in and go to the bathroom and Keith raced along behind him not wanting to help carry in luggage.

As he stepped in after his brother, he melted into the feeling of home. The couch where they watched old movies on the weekend, the rack where they put their shoes, the-. Then their dog Sam came racing around the corner and jumped up on him, nearly knocking him over. His parents came in behind him and his mom rested a loving hand on his shoulder. That was one of his happiest memories.

He blinked it away because he rarely let himself think of them. Some nights he could not help it, like his brother's birthday or his own, but there was no reason he should have been thinking about them now.

He was twelve when his parents’ car drove off the road with them and his brother. He had been staying over at his friend's house whose parents immediately drove him to the hospital to see them. But the car had flipped too many times and none of them made it. He didn't have any extended family to take care of him, so into the foster care system he went.

Something about this aching feeling reminded him of them, though, and how (generally) happy they had been.

Keith decided it was from the sleep deprivation. He'd only maybe gotten two hours of sleep in the last thirty-six hours as he spent most nights tossing and turning trying to shoo away anxieties.

He flopped onto his back and stared at the dirty ceiling, watching as particles of dust and sand drifted through the dark air above him. A particularly large flake of paint peeled off and Keith watched as it fluttered across the room and settled on his shoes by the door on the sand-covered floor.

Maybe it was just his restless mind looking for distraction or maybe the tugging in his gut, but something made him get up, put on his shoes, and venture outside for an almost-midnight stroll. He found himself not taking his usual running path, but walking aimlessly deeper into the desert.

He stumbled along, letting the rope wrapped around his insides guide him. He walked for what could have been minutes or hours, Keith could not tell in his state. He made uneven footprints in the sand that the chilly night breeze blew away behind him.

Shivering, he found himself shuffling into a cave entrance and suddenly the feeling in his stomach sprouted into the rest of his body until it settled. He realized he could not remember what he felt like without it.

Taking a few tentative steps deeper, he fumbled for the travel flashlight he kept in his pocket along with survival knives and a water purification straw.

Turning it on and looking around he noticed figures drawn across the cave wall. Hesitantly, he took a closer look. They appeared to be prehistoric drawings from some group of ancient people. The one Keith was examining depicted what looked like a blue animal of some sort.

He reached out and ran his fingers along the wall. His body shuddered and he waited expectantly, wondering if he had just triggered some sort of booby trap, but after a few seconds of eerie silence, he decided that the tremble that flew up his spine was just his body reacted to the cool air.

He moved the flashlight around the wall to find it covered in drawings of what he decided was a blue lion.

 

He had been picking up radio disturbances, the cave wall stories suggested some event, the notes seemed to mention a date range which his camera date print out said started yesterday, vehicles had been taken to a makeshift observation tint, everyone who came by had government licence plates. Keith knew something was about to go down and was almost positive it had to do with Shiro.

First he saw the ship, then a flash, then all the vehicles racing to the crash sight. He waited in his hovercraft and his insides jumped when he saw a giant ship arrive and the hatch door open. A few people trickled out but then out stepped three large people in a row, looking prepared. Following them was none other than Shiro being lead by a group of people in white suits and face masks.

He immediately jumped into action. Over his time in the desert, he had slowly stolen weapons and bombs as he prepared for this and now a plan came together easily.

Once he was settled back in, he waited for the cars to all be back in one place then pressed the detonator. When he heard the bombs go off and saw the ships pull away, there was no time to think anymore, just act. He flew in and practically crashed his ship, then ran silently along the back driveway and into the compound, taking down anyone in the way. There was no more time for stealth.

He burst into the room, his long hair messily falling in his face, and gets into a fighting stance as the researches (most likely) pulled away from Shiro. They had been hovering around the operating table Shiro was strapped to, but all started frantically running at him when they noticed. He took them all down with ease. His morning training a not too shabby replacement for a sparring partner or simulator.

Keith ran to Shiro and removed his mask. Shiro looked rough, a new scar cut across his face, making him look much older than the last time he saw him.

“Shiro?” he asked concerned.

He took out his survival knife, cut off the straps, and yanked Shiro’s arm over his shoulders.

He turned to leave but was met with the sight of three young guys striding in his wake, the tall one lead the way.

“No no no,” he repeated, “No you don't. I'm saving Shiro.”

There was a sudden pang in his stomach and his eyes pulled together in confusion.

_Who the fuck was this guy?_

“Who are you?” Keith asked, all business. They needed to get out of here quick, before reinforcements arrived.

“Who am I?” the guy asked, his energy practically radiated off of him, “Uh, the name's Lance,” he paused like he just said something incredible and was now waiting for Keith to react. Which he didn't because he didn't recognize this face at all. Or maybe…

“We were in the same class at the Garrison?” he continued, his voice reaching for Keith to remember.

The face in front of him was itching at him now and he nearly forgot the rush he was in. He tried to think back, but he had tuned out all of his classmates. He did not know what most any of their names were.

“Really, are you an engineer?” he guessed.

“No, I'm a pilot,” the guy said defeatedly, “We were, like, rivals. You know, Lance and Keith, neck and neck.” The guy, _Lance_ , got more excited the longer he talked.

That was when the memory clicked. He remembered this guy talking in the back of the class, always trying to make someone laugh and pulling those over expressive faces.

“Oh, wait,” he said, “I remember you. You're a cargo pilot.”

“Well, not anymore,” Lance said, “I'm fighter class now, thanks to you washing out.”

Not much a rival then if his only shot at being fighter class was someone better dropping out.

“Well, congratulations.”

They got out of there and the whole group piled into his one person craft. This was not how he had expected this day to go. He took the whole group back to the shack instead of parking in the cave like he normally would.

Shiro broke apart from their newly formed group once Lance and big guy, or Hunk, and that kid, Pidge? started blabbering.

Keith found him and placed a hand on his shoulder, “It’s good to have you back.”

He meant it too. Out of all his years learning at the Garrison, the only person he grew close to was Shiro. He became a mentor to Keith, helping him grow to fill his potential. He gave Keith personalized sessions and even took him on missions. Soon they developed the closest thing Keith had to friendship since the accident.

“It's good to be back,” Shiro said, but no cheer showed on his face.

Keith tried to ask what happened, but Shiro did not remember. Even if he did, it did not look like he would want to talk about it. He changed the subject and asked what Keith had been working on.

“I can't explain it, really,” he says, “After getting booted from the Garrison, I was kind of lost and found myself drawn out to this place.”

Keith wondered if he was going to tell Shiro the rest and quickly decided he would. He was his closest comrade and he would trust him with anything, no matter how crazy.

He looked for words, “It's like something- some energy, was telling me to search.”

“For what?”

“Well, I didn't really know at the time until I stumbled across this area. It's an outcropping of giant boulders with caves covered in these ancient markings. Each tells a slightly different story about a blue lion, but they all share clues leading to some event, some arrival happening last night,” he pauses, “Then, you showed up.”

He decided to show them everything he had found over the last couple months.

After a tiresome discussion, Hunk started talking about the Fraunhofer Line and showed the wavelength pattern and Keith recognized it immediately. He found the picture he took of the landscape and it matched perfectly.

Naturally, they head to the cave.

He paused before guiding them in. This had been just his. It felt private, but they had gotten this far.

Keith found himself watching Lance drift through the cave. He thought he looked like he belonged there too. Once they got inside, Lance ran his hand on the wall thoughtfully like Keith had and found he could not look away. Then suddenly the wall lit up.

“They've never done that before,” he said.

After falling through a magically spawning hole in the floor and landing in an underground pool, they found themselves in front of the blue lion. Keith immediately walked to the force field surrounding it and placed his hands on it. The feeling was back stronger than it had been before. It filled him up completely and overwhelmed him.

“I wonder how we get through this,” Keith mused out loud.

Lance approached from behind, “Maybe you just have to knock.”

Keith watched as Lance tapped his knuckles on the barrier. The force field exploded into blue sparks. They drifted through the air like a sandstorm and cast a galaxy across Lance's face. The moment stretched and Keith was entranced by the monumentality of the atmosphere. He watched blue light sparkle in Lance's eyes and then fade away.

The lion stretched and then leaned down and opened its large mouth. Lance looked separate from the rest of them as he stared in wonder then crashed into it like he owned the thing, like he had done it a million times. They all piled in after him like fish in the wake of a whale.

Keith felt a connection to it and he wondered if anyone else felt it too, like it could be where he belonged. It was bizarre but pleasant. Maybe it was just the nerves.

Lance sat down and started putting his hands all over the controls. The lion purred a low grumbling sound.

“Did you guys just hear that? I think it's talking to me.”

He started pressing buttons and the Lion roared. Pidge and Hunk screamed. Everyone seemed jumpy but Lance.

“Okay. Got it. Now, let's try this.”

Lance flew like he talked, expressively with no thought or grace. They all stumbled around the small space as Lance swerved and turned experimentally.

“You are the worst pilot ever!” he said as Lance dipped and turned.

“Isn't this awesome?” Lance beamed.

“Make it stop,” said Hunk.

“I'm not making it do anything. It's like it's on autopilot.”

Keith leaned forward to try and see what was going on as Lance pulled up, “Where are you going?”

“I said it's on autopilot!” Lance paused to listen to something only he seemed to hear, “It says there's an alien ship approaching Earth. I think we're supposed to stop it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written most of this already but the other chapters need polishing up. Probably update this super soon.
> 
> This whole fic isn't just Keith in the desert I swear.
> 
> I deleted a couple sections because I felt like it was dragging on, but I still have it saved elsewhere so if anyone wants to read it hmu in the comments I guess


	2. Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lion Bonds are important and so is Lance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so short because I wanted to focus on bonds and feelings and not retelling the episode or something : )

Keith laid his head down on the mattress of his new bed in his new, clean room, with his own shower in a brilliant castle.

They had two days until the galra fleet arrived. Shiro and Pidge had already left to get their lions, as had Lance and Hunk, while Keith stayed back, waiting for the coordinates for his. Coran had showed him to this room before going back to keep Allura company as she held the wormhole open.

As he stared at the ceiling he went through everything. Since the wormhole, they came across a castle, awakened a princess and butler, found out they were the only hope to defeat an evil alien dictator, and learned that each one of them would pilot their own magic robot lion. It was ridiculous, but Keith found himself easily believing it all. 

Allura had explained that the lions had special connections with their pilots. She and Coran said words like quintessence and mystical and bond, but Keith imagined it as if they were of the same soul or on the same wavelength after seeing Lance and his lion, at least. And the way she described Shiro’s lion, he almost immediately accepted it. 

She had described Keith's lion, the red one, as temperamental, instinctual, difficult to master, but fast and agile. But one word stuck out to him: unstable.

He'd never really thought of himself that way, but after hearing it, he couldn't dismiss it. Keith had been a ticking time bomb since the day his family- since the accident. He could never stay in one house too long. 

Once he got into the academy, his work ethic fluctuated erratically. One month he would be studious and intense, the next ignoring all else to train, the next digging into whatever new conspiracy theory he found. 

He had trained himself to not get attached to anyone or anything, leaving him a boat without an anchor in a storm. He clashed and fought with the waves, but he would crash sooner or later. He just couldn't have that time be now.

He tried to turn his thoughts to something else as he waited for the hours to pass. For some reason, they settled on Lance.

He thought about the way he looked in the cave. His eyes had searched the walls as Keith's had so many times, but then brought them to life with a single touch. 

He thought about how instantly he connected with his lion and how comfortably he flew. Sure it wasn't flawless, but he could tell that Lance was confident and could grow. 

Keith thought back to gripping Lance's chair as he swerved. He had been skeptical of his abilities, to put it lightly, but then watching Lance and his swagger destroy that ship heading toward earth, Keith was actually a little impressed. He was okay… for a cargo pilot.

Once they jumped the wormhole and headed toward this planet where they would find the castle, what Lance said echoed in his mind: _home_. He said the lion was going home. For some reason, he could not shake that from his head.

Then he remembered when Allura woke up and Lance ran to catch her, how he immediately changed his demeanor. He came on strong, using one of the cheesiest pick up lines Keith had ever heard, and he had heard a few. 

The rest of the time he and Lance had practically been at each other's throats. It felt strange to Keith to get so close with someone over such a short amount of time, even if it was more competitive than friendly. 

Eventually, Coran came and got him once Shiro and Pidge arrived. Pidge smiled and looked more confident than before. He wondered what happened on their trip as they both seemed to be in much better moods.

They waited a little while longer before Hunk and Lance sauntered back into the control room. They seemed to have had a much different experience than Pidge and Shiro as they were holding their backs and moaning. 

_Figures_ , Keith thought. Somehow Lance found a way to screw up one of the simplest missions there was.

 

He could not fucking feel anything.

This was getting seriously frustrating.

 _You’ll be able to feel it's presence,_ they said. _You'll feel it's energy_ , they said.

Keith grunted in frustration. Maybe this was a mistake.

He thought back to how all the others had felt about their lions and how obviously connected they were to them. Shiro had placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder before and he promised himself he would not let him down. They needed him to be connected to this magic robot lion and fuck if he couldn't do that much. He tried to focus on what he should feel, but it just wasn't there.

The energy he felt in the desert was such a distinct pull. He felt it in his stomach dragging him toward it. He felt it on his skin, like the prick on the back of your neck you feel when you know someone is watching you. He felt it in his chest like a rock, solid and omnipresent. He felt it in his feet when he took a step near it. In his hands when he touched the cave walls. In his ears, ringing when he heard Lance yell in exhilaration in his lion. 

All of the sensations were an explosion of tangible emotion, an emotion that suggested belonging. It gave him place and peace of mind despite being completely disgruntled, dirty and alone in a desert shack. 

But here, looking for _his_ actually lion, he felt nothing and it was not sitting well with him.

He heard Shiro's voice in his head telling him to breathe, calm down, concentrate.

He closed his eyes, “Patience yields focus."

He felt himself reaching out. He willed himself to forget the way Blue affected him and instead search for something else. Anything. 

He waited. 

Then his eyes shot open, “Gotcha.”

It wasn't a pull, really. Honestly, he wasn't totally sure it was anything at all, but it was enough to reinvigorate him. This felt more like a void where something should be and wasn't inside himself. 

It felt oddly like he were a bird feeling the spots on his wings where shedded feathers had been before falling off. 

It was the feeling you get when you get a haircut and stare down at the pieces of chopped off hair you know were once connected to you. How oddly it feels like they should still be with you somehow even though there is no way to reattach them. Like though it's outside of you, they still feel very much yours. 

It was faint and definitely different, but he had a push in his step drawing him forward and sure enough, he found the lion.

He knew right away this lion was his. Because it was kind of an ass.

“Let's get out of here. Open up.”

He waited. Nothing.

“It's me. Keith. Your buddy.”

Nothing.

“It's me! _Keith_ , your-- _I am your paladin!_ ”

“I'm bonding with you! Hey! Come on! We're connected!” 

Suddenly Allura's words came into his head. 

Fine, if he was gonna have to prove himself he knew he could. Earning shit? Yeah, that was something he could do. He'd prove himself if it killed him. This lion was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will be klancy I swear, but Keith and his feelings are important.  
> Maybe I should tag this character study??  
> Update: I did


	3. Unprepared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is unprepared for a couple things, one of them is Lance in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, yeah, another short chapter, but hey it's Klancier.

It had been maybe one earth week and, despite the new bed, his sleeping had not improved. 

They had been taking it pretty easy since they fought that Galra ship. Coran and Allura had been running tests and fixing up the castle. Lance and Hunk had been trying to come up with ways to make the food goop not taste disgusting. Pidge had been working on Rover and taking apart any piece of technology he could find.

Keith had been searching any room he came across in the castle, working on fixing up his lion, and cleaning his Bayard. He did not talk too much to the other paladins except Shiro, who seemed to be ignoring him. Or, ignoring talking about his feelings, better yet.

Shiro acted different now. Keith often found him with a far off look in his eyes, sitting in silence.

Keith had been up all night. He had earnestly tried to get to sleep for the first couple hours but then resigned. He had been polishing his Bayard, thinking about what Shiro could have been through as a hostage and how Keith should have been there to get him out when he heard Allura’s voice over the intercom.

He jumped out of bed in urgency, pulling on his clothes and grabbing what he could.

 

Once they realized it was drill Keith immediately rolled his eyes. Okay sure he was tragically unprepared and that was an issue but now that he knew that he got the point. Unfortunately, this was not going to be a said and done kind of lesson. It sounded like Allura was preparing for a rant so he crossed his arms and put on his bitch face.

That's when Lance strolled in. 

He heard the door slide and an overly dramatized yawn, but when he turned around to look, his heart skipped a beat.

Lance’s face was shimmering and he actually wore the Altean PJs Allura and Coran had offered them. They fit him perfectly. His cup of some kind of warm morning beverage steamed in his hand. His smile had the kind of serenity that seeped into the rest of the room.

A familiar tug tickled in the pit of his stomach and Keith blinked. What was it about the pilot of the blue lion that had him reeling?

Sure he was attractive, but Keith had been with loads of attractive guys and none of them had quite the same effect. Something just felt different when he looked at Lance. 

He wanted to shove it away and not think about it, but, at least in that moment, Keith really did not have the strength to look away. He would save burying feelings for a future Keith.

He was not quite sure what had him hanging onto every move Lance made, but as Allura and the others droned on about practicing and training, he never once took his eyes off Lance.

 

"Take two steps forward."

"Oh, no. Not Keith. Why does he get to be the man on the mic?"

Lance was standing in the invisible maze that only Keith could see. Coran was still standing with him, trying to convince them that this was a good idea for team building.

“Now, just sit tight. You'll get your turn."

Coran told Lance as he made a skeptical face.

"Like I said,” Keith said faux calmly, “Take two steps forward, turn right, and take three steps that direction."

Lance only turned right and hit a wall, a shock sent his body rigid.

"You did that on purpose!" 

"You're not listening."

"You said, 'Turn right.'"

"But, before that, I said, 'Take two steps forward.'"

Lance huffed in frustration as he turned away from Keith.

"Two steps—" Lance mumbled to himself as he stepped again in the wrong direction and got shocked again.

"We're switching places right now!”

Keith sighs, “No, listen Lance. Just stop being such a loser and let's get this over with.”

“Oh, I can do this. _You're_ messing this up!”

“What?” Keith said exasperated, “You're the one who can't follow simple directions.”

Lance pulled his really angry face, bottom lip jutting out, hands on his hips. It was kind of endearing since he could not even see Keith and was just making the face at nobody.

“Just,” Keith sighed, “Just turn to your right and take a few steps forward.”

Lance slumped his back and turned back to his right, “Like this? Because last time I-”

“Yes, like that, Lance. Now just take two steps forward,” Lance paused so Keith added, “Just trust me.”

Cautiously, Lance took two steps forward.

“Now stop, stop,” Keith said, “turn left and take three steps.”

Lance overturned and, before Keith could yell at him to stop, Lance jumped forward into the corner of the wall.

“Aagh, Keith!”

“You turned too far, you moron!”

“You didn't say how much to turn. I turned fine, Mullet head!”

“Just turn 90 degrees like a normal person.”

“How am I supposed to be able to tell how far 90 degrees is?”

“How could you not?”

Lance threw up his arms and turned back then angled his feet at a perfect 90 degrees and took a few steps forward.

“Good job, Lance. Now turn left 90 degrees and just walk until I say stop.”

“Um, no. Why don't you just tell me how many steps.”

“Lance, it's a lot of steps, I don't know how many. Just walk.”

Lance turned then took a few testing steps forward, pulling his face into an anticipatory cringe. Once he decided he was not going to get shocked, he slowly started making his way straight.

“Okay, now slow down and stop. _Stop._ ”

Lance abruptly halted inches from the wall. Keith could hear the faint hum of electricity through Lance's microphone.

“Woah, Keith. That was close.”

“What'd I tell you? Just trust me.”

Keith thought he saw a small smile spread across Lance's face. It could have just been a weird reflection from the electric wall.

“Alright. Now what?”

“Turn right, take four steps forward, then turn left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But seriously, if you watch that scene when Lance strolls in all "good morning, everybody" Keith looks over blinking at Lance with this stunned face the entire time. Like we don't talk about that moment enough.
> 
> Save my gay child.


	4. Unstable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is everyones dad and he deserves so much better

“Looks like your time in the desert roughed you up a bit, Keith.”

Keith huffed and bounced back into ready position.

He hadn’t practiced this hard at hand to hand combat since Shiro trained him back at the Garrison and the despite his attitude, he was glad Shiro was talking to him again.

Between the tireless training, forming and reforming Voltron, mind melding and bonding, Keith was emotionally exhausted, not to mention physically exhausted from his lack of sleep. Apparently becoming a paladin of Voltron did not automatically cure his insomnia, but gave him new things to lay restlessly in bed thinking about.

People counted on him now. Billions of galaxies, planets, and species counted on him to be able to uphold his duties as a paladin: be strong, moral, and put together, but Keith was unsure that he was any of those things. Strong was maybe a little less troubling, but moral? And put together?

He spent too much time focus on keeping himself sane and on task to even think about morals. 

That one word Allura used to describe the red paladin kept floating around his wakeful thoughts as he absently polished his bayard or blinked into the distance. He was unstable.

The other paladins seemed to be well connected to their lion. He felt it when they were in voltron formation, how they rest of them and their lions seemed to flow as one. When their minds were all connected, it was hard to tell where the paladins intentions stopped and the intentions of their lions started. Keith’s lion had yet to even speak to him as Lance’s had straight off the bat.

He now understood the lions were like an extension of themselves, their souls continued. Which made sense when he looked at Lance and his lion. They were both so open and outspoken, making their thoughts readable to anyone in the vicinity. The other paladins had more intimate relationships with their lions, they had private conversations and worked together well, but Keith’s lion was so closed off. Even after he had apparently proved himself enough to be the red paladin, the red lion did not seem to think that meant they were supposed to be bonded like the others did. 

When Lance had provoked him during the flying exercise to see who could hold out the longest before pulling up, he felt his lion practically yelling at him. Of course that just added to the provocation and caused him to speed up until they both crashed. Red’s reluctance to give Keith control was even more palpable after that. After the crash, Red practically ejected him, sending him sprawling through the sand.

Lance came out laughing as he sauntered over to Keith to give him a hand up, which Keith definitely ignored, groaning as he dragged himself up. It was just so damn frustrating how easily everyone else worked with their lions and got along together.

Lance had smirked and said something about him definitely winning despite them both crashing. Keith rolled his eyes and they walked back to the red lion together, they bickered constantly but Keith was finding it was losing a lot of the bite. The challenges throughout training became more like a friendly rivalry, which was a new thing to Keith. Shiro’s friendship had always been more like a mentor-ship, there was no grey area. With Lance, it was the opposite and nothing was black and white. He could not tell when Lance was trying to make a joke or provoke him, which sent him guessing through all their interactions. 

Then there were times when Lance was not talking at all and Keith found himself thinking about him confused anyway. 

Once in training Lance and Keith had both been knocked over and Lance’s arm had fallen on top of him. Keith took a second longer than usual to jump back up once he realized their proximity. 

The most confusing was the feeling he got after the food fight. He had been high on endorphins after laughing and struggling to work together during the fight when Lance had looked over at him.

The smile on Lance’s face mirrored his and he did not know what to do with the feeling. He figured that this feeling of being bonded was what the whole goal of the fight had been, but that did not stop him from dwelling on the absurdity of it all.

Lance had said, “I don’t actually hate you right now,” and Keith found the words returning to him later that night as the day played through his head. His stomach had flipped and his smile had widened. He wondered if things would change after that, if Lance would start treating him like he did Hunk and Pidge. Of course it did not and Lance went back to bickering and picking fights, but there was a constant undertone to all their interactions that had not been there before. A low hum beneath the noise of their words. 

This bickering was how their friendship was going to be. They were going to fight and compete but at the end of the day they worked better that way. Their relationship would not be like one they had with anyone else and Keith decided he liked it better that way.

As he and Shiro wrapped up their session, Keith wondered at everywhere his thoughts had taken him and realized he had barely said two words to Shiro the whole time.

He cleared his throat, “Thanks for doing this, I’ve missed this.”

Shiro mouth quirked into a small smile, “Me too.”

“Do you still not remember much?”

The smile wavered but did not drop, “I have bits and pieces. Look, I’m sorry for avoiding you the past couple days, but I just didn’t want to have to think about all this, but I realized it’s probably inevitable, so let’s make this a regular thing, if that’s okay with you. You definitely need it.”

Keith crossed his arms, “I’ll think about it.”

Shiro shook his head as he made to go back to his room, “Kids.”


	5. Danks fr th Memeries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um, this is just my space nerds having fun : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up, I'm using he pronouns for Pidge until she comes out because it's Keith's pov and that's what he would use until he was sure of Pidge's gender. Peace out, hope u like it

Keith had a towel in his hair as he stepped into his pants. He roughed it through his hair one last time before throwing it back into the bathroom to pull on a plain t-shirt and his gloves. He debated between hanging around his room and polishing his bayard or going to clean up red. After turning over the idea, he made up his mind and headed to the hangar.

It was at least what would be eleven o'clock earth time and he did not really expect anyone to be up walking around. The lights in the castle flicked on as he approached and off behind him and he breathed in the unusual quiet of the hall. His steps echoed throughout the walls.

Down the hall Keith saw a small cast of light from beneath a cracked door. Suddenly, he heard voices snicker and then a shrill 'shh’ sound. His guard immediately shot up and his hand hovered over his bayard on his belt. 

He stepped cautiously toward the door, putting his ear to it, listening.

“Hunk!” He heard Lance yell in a fake whisper, “Move a little to the right.”

Keith pushed the door open to see Lance perched awkwardly on Hunks shoulders and Hunk stumbling to the left.

“Your other right!”

“Well I'm sorry I'm a little disoriented with you moving your weight around.”

“Oh,” Pidge interrupted, stepping into Keith's line of sight, “I need that one too,” he said, pointing at another Altean-labeled bin.

“That one's even higher!” Lance exclaimed, turning back at Pidge so Keith could see his face, which was red and a little sweaty, “how do you expect us to-” his eyes met Keith's, “Keith! Awesome, we need your help.”

Hunk turned his body around, tripping a little as he moved to gaze at Keith, with thankful eyes.

“Sweet,” he said, relieved, before picking Lance up off his shoulders, causing a startled sound to escape Lance's lips as he was set on the floor.

“What are you guys doing in here?” He asked, one eyebrow raised.

“Pidge needed some space junk from this storage room so Hunk and I, being the gentlemen we are, are helping out.”

Lance smirked at Keith, who folded his arms in response, suspicion intensifying.

“Didn't look you guys were doing too good of a job.”

Lance threw a hand to his chest, “How dare you. We were doing just fine, thank you very much. On second thought, we don't need your help. Goodbye. Hasta la later.”

Lance moved to close the door back when Hunk grabbed his arm and pulled him away.

“Oh no you don't,” Hunk said, “Keith, seriously man. Could you lend us a hand? That would be great.”

He stepped in cautiously. Pidge was back to sitting crisscrossed on the floor with a laptop in his lap, wires were attached to both Rover and some sort of other technology Keith did not recognize. 

“What's this for again?”

Pidge looked up, “I'm working on reverse engineering some of Rovers functions so I could apply it the lions or make some use of it. Wanna see?”

Keith bit his lip for a second before looking away, “That's alright. What do you need?”

The faces of the room suddenly brightened.

“Awesome, that means your helping?”

“Well,” Pidge stood up, “I need a few wires from that box,” he pointed at a box that was at least eight feet up, “And some parts from that box up there,” he stood on his tiptoes and pointed at one even higher, maybe nine to ten feet up.

Keith nodded and examined the room. There weren't any stools and all the boxes looked flimsy. There wasn't really any use for his bayard other than maybe prodding at it to knock it off the shelf.

Hunk piped up, “I think if we could get someone lifted up there, we'd have enough height to reach.”

Keith nodded again.

“So I think Lance and I can stand down here and hoist you up to step on our shoulders.”

Lance's head shot toward him, “What? Why does he get to be on top?”

Keith's face reddened a bit at the innuendo that the rest of the room seemed to ignore.

“Because you're taller,” Hunk shrugged, “just makes more since that way for a level standing surface.”

“He's only taller by two inches.”

Lance glanced over at Keith with a small smirk and raised eyebrows.

“Not that anyone's counting,” Lance jeered.

That earned a huff from Pidge and Keith tightened his crossed arms.

“Shouldn't the taller person be the one reaching for the-”

“No, this makes more sense. Definitely,” Keith rolled his eyes at Hunk, who had his eyes closed, waving away any objections.

He kneeled down and dragged a startled Lance down with him, then tapped his shoulder, looking expectantly at Keith.

Keith sighed but stepped forward anyway. He placed a hand on one of the shelves as he awkwardly tried to find footing on Lance's shoulder.

Lance huffed and muttered something about Keith hurrying it up.

They got the first box down with ease, but the taller one took some readjustment. 

“Lance, could you please, I don't know. Stand on your tiptoes or something?”

“I can't believe you just said tiptoes. And I already am!”

“I just need- a little- more-”

Then Lance jumped up a bit and Keith's foot slipped. He flailed around, trying to grab onto anything his hands could grab. His fingers closed around a box near the shelf, but it wasn't heavy enough and he pulled it down with him as he tumbled to the ground.

He hit the floor with an “oof” and the box clattered to the floor with a clank.

Hunk and Lance stared down with low hanging jaws as Keith pulled himself up.

“No, I'm fine. Thanks for asking.”

Pidge closed his laptop and stood up slowly. 

Keith then turned around and joined the group as they all stood there frozen, looking at the broken mystery box. Each mouth hung open in shock and no one dared make a sound, thinking maybe if they did not move for long enough it would somehow unbreak itself.

Suddenly, Lance broke the silence.

“That was definitely Keith's fault.”

He turned abruptly, face falling to rage on instinct.

“You were the one who-”

“Uh, guys?” Pidge said.

Suddenly he noticed the ominous red smoke that was now emanating from the box. Then slowly, like a baby beginning to cry, a shrill noise bursted out and filled the room with a siren pitch.

They looked down at it, them back at one another. Simultaneously, they all took off out the door and down the hallway. None of them chancing to look back at the door or one another.

Pidge suddenly tripped and the wires on Rover yanked it's floating to a halt.

They skidded to a stop just as Pidge reached out a hand to the group, crying, “Go! Run! Leave me and save yourselves!”

Lance tugged Keith back toward their fallen comrad, “No, Pidge! Were not leaving you behind!”

“Come on,” Hunk yelled, tugging Pidge's arm up before swinging him in the air and onto his back. He instantly took off down the hall, leaving Lance and Keith to trail behind. Pidge's arms were clasped tightly around Hunks neck, Rover trying desperately to keep up with the pace.

They barreled down the hall and crashed into the nearest unlocked room, which happened to be a sitting area furnished with lavish couches and fancy glass bowls. A chandelier hung gracefully from the ceiling, flickering on to cast brilliant light across the decorative carpet and drapery. 

They all pulled to a stop, skidding like brakes on ice. The siren only faintly auduble in the distance.

“Woah,” Pidge said, head tilted high toward the ceiling.

“Why haven't we been shown this room, huh? How much you bet this is wear Coran and Allura come to let loose while we're all busting our butts in training?” Lance said.

Hunk was the first to plump himself into one of the intensely cushioned love seats. Pidge followed suit, carefully stepping around a crystalline coffee table to bounce onto a large throne like chair. Keith perched himself on the edge of one of the couches reluctantly, but the instant he sank into it, he let out a moan he would later deny with everything he had, and lounged back, throwing an arm across the couch frame and leaning into the corner. Lance still stood at the front of it all, taking it in.

Keith watched Lance take a few tranced like steps forward before dropping himself into the couch next to Keith. He stiffened a bit as Lance’s loose limbs swung themselves out to stretch on the other side of the couch. He settled his back to rest on Keith's side and let out a huff. Keith could barely see Lance's face pulled into an expression of utter disbelief.

Suddenly, Pidge let out a squeal which quickly developed into a giggle then a fit of giggles and suddenly the whole room was erupting in bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Lance’s cackles bounced on Keith chest. The atmosphere soon worked its way into Keith and he could not resist smiling along.

After a moment, Lance readjusted his position and turned to face Keith, his eyes clouded with tears from laughing so hard. The sight had Keith's smile spreading. Suddenly, the warmth at his side was gone and Keith oddly missed it before he could catch himself. 

And then Lance was on top of him. His eyes shot open in surprise, hands awkwardly stretched away. Then, suddenly he realized what Lance was doing and tried desperately to push him off before-

And then he yelped a high pitched laugh that had the room go quiet. Lance's hands were attacking his sides and stomach and weaseling their way under his arms. His fingers tickled every safe inch they could find. 

Lance barked a laugh at the sound but only grew in determination. Keith couldn't help the awkward mix of snorts and giggles that escaped him.

Hunk and Pidge broke down again. They grasped at their stomachs, Pidge nearly curling into the fetal position.

Keith finally got a shaky hold on Lance's shoulder to shove him off, when suddenly Hunk had hold of both of his hands, yanking them above his head giving Lance even more openings to attack from.

He found himself literally pleading for them to get off. Have mercy. What had he ever done?

Hunk finally let go and Lance removed his hands, but at Keith's winded expression and new found breathlessness, doubled over in laughter again. 

Keith tried to wipe the unwelcome tears from his eyes and shoved Lance's shoulder.

“You asshole!” he yelled, which only had everyone laughing louder. 

Keith cracked a smile and pushed Lance again before crossing his arms and trying desperately to keep his expression neutral. He was definitely not used to this kind of attention, much less the closeness everyone seemed to be in that moment.

Pidge gasped, “Please stop!” He wheezed in another desperate breath, “Oh my quiznak! I’m dying. I'm _dying._ Keith, your face!”

He puffed out his lip even further, “What's wrong with my face?”

Lance leaned over again, placing a hand on his shoulder that Keith immediately jolted out of.

“Man, you're pouting!” He giggled, then touched a finger to his nose, that Keith pulled away from too, desperately fighting the traitorous smile that threatened to take his face, “It's adorable.”

“Is not!” He huffed at everyone's red faces, “I am not adorable!”

Lance's smile widened as his eyes focused on Keith. Who allowed Lance to look like that? Keith was sure being that bright was illegal somewhere.

Hunk came and patted his shoulder patronizingly before wiping his eyes, “Sure you're not, buddy.”

“It's like someone is threatening to take away grumpy cats grouchiness!”

Lance barked a laugh and looked back at Pidge, “Or,” he sniffed, “Or doge losing his poise and composure.”

“Pepe actually smiling.”

“Angry baby giggling!”

Keith tightened his arms, “What the fuck are you guys even talking about at this point.”

The whole room stopped and turned to him, each face hung in complete and utter disbelief. 

“Keith?” Pidge asked reluctantly with a face of suspicion. It looks like he suspected he murdered his cat or something.

He squirmed under the scrutiny, “What?”

Pidge raised his chin, “What does it mean to you if I say Pepe the frog?”

“Um, nothing? Should it? Should I be concerned?”

The others shared a look.

“What do you think of when I say Joe Biden?”

“What are you trying to- what is happening?”

“Bread sticks?”

“Kermit the frog?”

“What?”

“420? 69?”

“Minerals?”

“If a dog wore pants how would he wear them?”

“I don't-” Keith looked around confused.

“Can you stick your leggy up?”

“What is the powerhouse of the cell?”

“Um?”

“Do you know Robbie Rotten?”

“Who?”

Hunk choked back some fake tears.

“Do you… do you even know what dabbing is?”

“Is that even a real word?”

The room gasped.

“How are you unaware of all these dank memes?” Lance gaped at him, “Son, bruh, boi, my mullet man?”

Pidge looked absolutely scandalized, “Was there no wifi in the desert? How did you survive?”

“I don't understand what having an Internet connection has to do with any of this nonsense you guys are spewing?”

“Keith. We might as well call you Patrick Star because you've been living under a rock.”

“I- I know who that is. I watched cartoons as a kid, is that- is that what this so about?”

“Oh Keith,” Pidge burst, jumping onto him and hugging him hard. He squirmed a bit but could not get out of the grasp. He had not expected all of this touching when he left his room for the lion hangar.

Hunk just shook his low held head through the whole interaction.

“Will someone please explain to me what is going on?”

Lance just patted his arm and shook his head, before gazing out into the distance.

“It’s been six years since our dear friend Keith passed on…”

Keith pulled his eyebrows together. Pidge sniffled again.

“What? I'm not-?”

“Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, this was probably the most fun I've ever had with writing. Even more than fluff, I'd say. I hope u peeps like it too... Ik I abandoned the one word chapter title thing but this needed to be my title.
> 
> ALSO thank you to everyone who has commented. I live for that, thnks so much I'm dying!!


	6. Morality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is falling for Lance but he doesn't know it, and other emotional stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry..

Keith is not a naturally trusting person.

That's why when even a small cute alien creature tries to attack the castle, he is still incredible suspicious. Have none of these paladins even heard of slow lorises? 

As they walked down the castle to greet the attacker, Keith watched as Lance bounced along talking about all the different things he could knit this alien. Of all the things Lance could have as a hobby, he would never have guessed knitting. He tried to imagine this lanky energetic guy sitting down to quietly knit a sweater and shook his head at the image. This boy was composed of surprises and Keith found himself dwelling over every new thing he could learn.

The other day, Keith had stumbled in on Lance and Hunk in the kitchen arguing over which of all the earth spices they could think of could actually make the goo taste decent. 

“Wait,” Keith had said, surprised, “You can cook?”

Lance smirked and raised an eyebrow, “I come from a big family and with like a hundred younger relatives, of course I know how to cook.”

Then Lance elbowed Hunk, “they’d all starve if they had to rely on Adriana's cooking.”

“Ha,” said Hunk, “Remember that time when she burnt that Kid Cuisine for us in like third grade? How the hell did she even do that?”

“I have no idea,” Lance said, laughing, “God, I love her but my hermana can't cook for shit!”

Keith decided to leave them once they started diving into their shared childhood experiences at Lance's house. He knew it was ridiculous, but whenever they did that, Keith could not help the twist in his gut.

It was not that he was jealous of their friendship, but it reminded him a lot of how close him and his brother had been. He tried to avoid thinking about that as much as possible.

He refocused on the figure striding ahead of him. Lance was laughing with Hunk while Allura tried to lecture them about being peaceful and diplomatic. Keith squinted; he was not having any of that. He had learned between all the faces of all the different people he had dealt with over his years, from teacher to foster parents, that appearances did not tell anything about threat and hostility. 

When he had first realized he was gay, he had been living in a home with one older woman and three other children. She had always been so kind to him before. She was open and understanding about his reclusive personality. She listened if he ever opened up about anything, which only happened once or twice, but she still had been compassionate. 

He had lived there for months before he finally realized it. It took him a week or so to really come to terms with it, but he was still a little confused and just needed someone to talk to. After all these years, he still wondered if his life would have ended up different had he opened up to his state-mandated therapist instead, but that's not what he did. He decided to open up to his foster mom and that had been the worst decision he'd ever made. 

She was outraged. The face he had become familiar with, one of acceptance and compassion, was gone. She called him every bad thing he had imagine as being a worst case scenario and then some. She accused him of being a pervert and spying on her son, which was definitely not the case… since he was eight fucking years old and Keith was fourteen at the time. She slapped him once, hard, on the face before locking him in his room for three whole days. That was the last time Keith had really cried. Once his case workers found out and moved him to a new home, he did not speak for two weeks. And even once he was vocal again, he never told anyone anything of any emotional importance again.

He took a deep breath. He was not going to let anything happen to these people. He did not care who the threat was. It could be a little old alien with a crutch and he still would not care. Okay, maybe if it were that specific case he would, but the point still stood. 

These people were his team and he would be damned if he let anything touch them. 

 

Despite his suspicions and emotional build up, he and the team inevitably decided these people were of no threat. In fact, upon seeing the traditions and culture of this species, everything Allura had been saying started to sink in.

He watch as the Arusians climbed all over Lance. He was so good at all of this, the diplomatic part of being a paladin. He was so easily open and amiable with everyone they met that wasn't trying to kill them. 

He knew Lance was the one out of all of them, save maybe Allura, that had the most clear cut moral compass. Sure he was flirty and kind of an ass sometimes, but that didn't change the fact he was dead set on doing the right thing. Which meant, he usually knew what that was, even if Keith was reluctant to admit that.

As he studied the way Lance smiled at these people, he thought of all of the other species that we're out there. The thousands of planets that were vulnerable to galra occupation, the tens of thousands more that were already occupied. He thought about Lance and his family, how he knew he would do anything to protect them. Then he realized that Lance felt this same compassion and protectiveness for all these species as well. 

Allura never said what the characteristics of the blue paladin were meant to be, but Keith had a pretty good idea.

Something clicked into place in his chest. He decided that this was the purpose he had been waiting for. He needed to protect this team with everything he had for the sake of all the species and all the families in the universe. He had to take down Zarkon. He needed to be the one to do it so that no one would have to go through what he went through. So that no one in any family in the universe would feel the way he did when his family- feel the way he did after the accident.

He would keep them together at all costs for the greater good, no matter what it did to him. No matter who he had to hurt. As Allura had said, he was prepared to protect every innocent being in the universe and he did not care how grand and unreasonable it sounded.

He realized he had zoned out and his eyes were still focused determinedly on Lance. He blinked and realized Lance was staring back at him, slightly confused by his expression. He immediately jerked away, storming off in the opposite direction.

Suddenly, an Arusian jumped onto him. 

“Huh,” he said surprised, “I don't usually hug strangers but-”

He thought back to Lance and how he let this particularly clingy species climb all over him, the least he could do was not shove this one off. He swallowed and patted its head awkwardly.

“Uh, man, you are cuddly.”

The surprisingly deep voice replied, “Thank you.”

He paused, a little unsure of what to do now, but the little guy didn't let go. After a few more moments, he was still completely out of his element and looked back desperately at the group. His eyes immediately met Lance's which were already staring at him with a smirk.

Desperately, Keith shifted his eyes from Lance to the Arusian and back again, a silent ‘help me’.

He saw Lance huff a little laugh and roll his eyes before shaking off the ones that clung to him and making his way over to Keith. A few still trailed behind him, one even started climbing back up his arm, which Lance ignored.

“Hey there, Keith,” he said smiling, “making new friends?”

Keith thinned his lips, “Yeah. Definitely. This is- this is great.”

Lance laughed again, shaking his head before prying the little Arusian from Keith's side.

“Hey, this guy's kind of a poopy pants so if you're looking for hugs, that guy over there in the yellow is your man.”

He set him down and waved as the Arusian ran to and then jumped on Hunk.

Keith sighed, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Lance said still smiling at him as another Arusian tugged on his hand, and then another until Lance was surrounded and being tugged in all different direction.

Keith bit back a smile as he backed away, finding a shaded tree near where Allura was standing. He figured if he kept close to her, the Arusians would be too focused on her to take heed of him. 

He kicked back and leaned against the tree, watching as Lance was approached by nearly every citizen of the village. A restful smile set on his face that he wasn't even aware of until he noticed Allura begin addressing Shiro through her com and it fell. That's when he noticed the burning thing breaking through the atmosphere.

Soon enough Keith was storming through the swarm of Arusians, Hunk trailing along with a string of worries behind him. Keith scanned the crowd for an instant before his eyes found Lance.

He sprinted to him, clasping his hand to drag him from the hands of worried Arusians as Lance tried to explain that he needed to go. 

He tugged Lance along toward the lions, Hunk followed panting somewhere behind.

“Come on!” He yelled as Lance stumbled over his long legs to keep up, “Shiro and Pidge need our help.”

He could feel Lance's cold fingers around the skin his gloves exposed. He did not let go once until they got to the lions, something Keith later realized was probably unnecessary but dwelled on the memory nonetheless. 

 

As they each did their own thing in their lions, Keith already noticed something different. Something about the way Red was listening to him and their communication seemed more at ease than it had been. 

He was wondering over this feeling as he hovered in the air before the other lions joined him to face the giant purple robot guy.

Lance’s voice was suddenly in the comms and breaking him from his concentration. He felt a weird tingle, not quite what he usually felt around Blue, but not the same feeling he felt with Red either. Kind of like a strange combination of both. And then they were combining and forming Voltron and Keith was trying desperately to think about anything other than the sensation.

After they realized this wasn't going to be nearly as easy as they thought and Keith rolled his eyes at Lance for suggesting they do his kick move again even though that had failed miserably the first time, he felt a sudden stir in their mind meld. He immediately recognized it as Shiro. He sensed a shift and Shiro was suddenly determined.

Then he felt it. The same feeling from before intensifying until it was almost all Keith could feel. It was definitely the lion. Something in their communication was changing and he realized Red was actually trying to communicate with him for once. Then a glowing panel began emerging from the controls. He vocalized the feeling as he reveled in it. In a daze, he tried to follow his guts on what he thought Red wanted. 

He paused, trying to regain his lost focus at the sudden fluidness of his and Red’s bond. Somewhere from behind his haze he heard Lance's voice, he did not even know what he was saying but it was enough to jolt him out.

They were knocked over and the initial shock was gone. He surged forward in a sudden explosion of determination. 

 

Keith watched as they sent away the hostages Pidge and Shiro had rescued from their mission to retrieve Red. He knew Pidge was disappointed by not gaining new information about his family, but did not expect Pidge to leave immediately after their departure. He was not surprised, though as Shiro left to make sure Pidge was alright.

Lance was standing only about a foot behind Keith as the ship took off when he leaned forward to whisper in Keith's ear.

He immediately stiffened at their closeness and shifted away.

“Hey, good job with Red back there,” he said, “I didn't get to tell you before.”

Keith regretted shifting away immediately as he saw the vulnerability in Lance's eyes. They did not usually congratulate each other on their accomplishments and he realized it was probably not something easy for Lance either. He was his proclaimed rival after all.

Instinctively he replied, “Yeah, that's because you were too busy gloating over your own performance.”

He winced at his own words. Why couldn't he just say something nice for once? Hadn't he decided he wanted Lance to be his rival in a friendly kind of way? Should complementing be part of that? God, why was he such an asshole sometimes?

He awkwardly tried to recover, loosening his folded arms, and stuttered, “I- I mean, uh, thanks, uh-"

He really did not know how to do this.

Lance just shrugged and kept smiling down at him, “No, you're totally right. I was distracted by my stellar job.”

Keith stopped and raised an eyebrow.

“I know we were all blown away by my superior walking skills. Sorry to outshine your moment, mullet.”

Keith rolled his eyes but he could feel his anxiety settling as they settled into their usual routine. Lance did not go back to trying to real talk, instead he threw his arm across Keith shoulder as they walked back to the main part of the castle. Keith shrugged it off but smiled back at him nonetheless. 

The way Lance kept talking and talking like his usual self while still throwing Keith a few more meaningful glances than usual had Keith thinking maybe Lance understood. Maybe he realized that Keith just was not good at this stuff and it had nothing to do with him. 

He really hoped so because he liked the way Lance was casually trying to get Keith to open up despite his constant teasing and rejections. Wow, he sounded like a shit head, but he did not want Lance to stop so that maybe one day he would give Keith the chance to just calm down. But Keith would never admit it. Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least it ended good and nice, right??? I'm reallllly sorry about Keith's back story.....  
> Also, and I just found this out today, slow lorises (those adorable little fluffs from Southeast Asia) have a venomous bite that can ACTUALLY KILL YOU by sending you into anaphylactic shock!!!  
> Also, using male pronouns for Pidge is physically hurting me it feels so wrong  
> And finally, thank you for your lovely comments on the last chapter!! I loved it too.. but we can't have nice things


	7. Storming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My favorite "mission goes bad so we are stuck in a cave" trope. Don't get ur hopes up though, we aren't to the bed sharing... yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I know this is the third chapter I've posted today but I'm fiiiiine.

The mission was supposed to be simple, and honestly it should have been. The ship was running low on fuel (if you could even call it that) and all they had to do was retrieve some sort of rock/crystal/thing from this deserted planet. Sure Hunk gave them a side mission to get any and all herbs they found for cooking, but that was beside the point.

Allura sent Keith and Lance down in Blue. Keith questioned why they only took the one lion, but Allura said taking two lions was overkill since the planet was deserted. He was still skeptical, but did not object.

He dressed down for the flight and stored his suit in the undercarriage of Blue’s storage before following after Lance, feeling the distant tingle of comfort he got whenever he was around Blue. He tried to push the feeling down but he couldn't help but wonder why he got like this around Blue but none of the other lions.

Lance took the pilot's chair and motioned for Keith to take a seat in the bed in the back for medical emergencies. Keith scowled at the thing with crossed arms.

“Well, it's either that or standing,” Lance said, before quirking up one eyebrow, “Unless you want to sit on my lap.”

Keith felt his face start to redden, so he turned away and plopped down on the old mattress.

Lance huffed a laugh, “Alright, let's blow this popsicle stand.”

It did not take as long as Keith expected to break the atmosphere of the planet, but once they did it was no easy ride. They were shocked with a strong bout of turbulence and Lance swerved to regain control, sending Keith off the bed.

“Hey, watch it!”

“Uh, Keith…”

Rubbing his neck, Keith came to lean against Lance's seat, squinting out the window. 

“Oh, quiznak.”

Lance turned on the communicator in his helmet, “Uh, Allura. There's Uh- it's storming pretty hard down here. Should we pull up?”

Another quake of turbulence sent Keith forward over top of Lance’s shoulder.

“Hey, watch the pilot!”

“Allura,” Keith said into Lance's helmet, “This looks like a pretty bad mega tornado or something.”

“I can't believe you just said mega tornado.”

“Pulling back up would be fighting the storm and I don't know if Blue could withstand that,” Allura added through some concerning static.

“Great, then how are we gonna get back out of here?”

“Just wait for the storm to pass and we'll-”

“Allura?” asked Lance, “Houston, you there?”

“Great,” sighed Keith.

“I guess we're landing, buckle up.”

Keith tightened his grip on the chair. Lance pulled the gears and took a dive straight to the surface. 

Keith held on for dear life as the force yanked at him. He felt his hand slipping, and, in desperation, he thrust himself forward. His arms clung desperately around the chair and, consequently, around Lance's chest. Keith's face practically tucked in his neck, his mouth just below his ear.

“You scared, Keith?”

“With you at the-” he started, but broke off the familiar statement with a deep scream as Lance accelerated.

They plummeted to the surface when Lance pulled up at the last second. Always the show off, even if it was just Keith there. Suddenly, the wind sent a large tree trunk into the side of the lion, knocking them into the side of a cliff. 

Keith clung to Lance and tucked his face into his neck as they rolled out of control. With a bang, Blue hit the ground. A moment passed filled only with the roar of the rushing wind before Lance took a gulp and reached for the controls. He sighed when he realized they had all gone dead. Blue was too tired for this and wouldn't be able to take anymore.

Keith looked up from Lance's neck hesitantly and saw his eyes cast down. He looked lost and frozen. For a moment Keith just looked at him, unable to think of something to say. He ran through a list of insults about the landing but could not bring himself to say anything. 

“Looks like we're staying here,” Lance dazedly mumbled so low Keith could only hear him because he was centimeters from his mouth. Realizing how close they were, Keith's face reddened and slowly unwrapped his arms from Lance. 

Lance did not move, just kept staring at the lights on the dash that had all gone out.

Keith started pacing, trying to plan what to do next. He knew with Blue down, they only had so much oxygen. They would eventually need to open the hatch for air, but there was so much debris. They needed to find shelter. 

Keith started looking around for supplies to bring. He put both their backpacks on the bed and pulled the medical bag, flashlight, matches, everything he could find and shoved them in. 

Lance just stared off, frozen in his chair with his mouth hanging open. Keith looked away. He would break him out off that shock once he got them ready to go.

They had not brought any food supplies other than the one-week supply that was stored on every lion, but between the two it would only last a couple days. Keith had one canteen that he brought everywhere since the desert. After he got everything together, which really was not that much, he zipped up their bags and threw both over his shoulders.

He came up behind Lance's chair and placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder. Lance barely reacted to the action.

“Lance,” he said, and Lance turned to him, his eyes immediately starting to water. 

Oh no, Keith was not ready to deal with this. He had no experience comforting people.

So instead, he said, “We have to go. You know the oxygen levels-”

“I can't feel her anymore.”

Keith stopped. He focused inward, searching for that warm feeling he got from Blue, only to realize that it wasn't there. Suddenly, he felt achingly empty. He had been so focused on packing he hadn't noticed, but now that he had, the void was all he could feel. It vacuumed out his stomach.

Lance, of course, did not think Keith would understand, and Keith didn't offer anything that would suggest he could feel it too. Instead, he knelt down beside Lance's chair, dropping the bags to the floor. He placed one hand on Lance's knee and the other under his chin. 

He was not thinking anymore. The moment had shut down his thought processes and he was running on instincts and each one told him to reach out and touch Lance. To ground him. To remind him he was still here. And Blue would be fine. 

He did all this by wrapping a hand from Lance's chin to his neck and pulling him down. Lance let Keith guide him to the floor. He searched his eyes and Keith thought that maybe Lance was feeling the same thing he was. Maybe he was looking to fill in the void Blue had left behind. Keith pulled Lance into a strong hug. 

Lance was leaned forward awkwardly but did not pull away. He buried himself in his shoulder as Keith ran careful fingers through his hair. He didn't know what he was doing so he just held on as he felt the collar of his jacket dampen on his neck under Lance's eyes. 

“Hey,” Keith whispered, “Blue will be fine. We'll be fine. It's gonna be okay. I've got you. You'll be fine.”

Lance sniffled and scooted forward, his knees moving between Keith's legs and his forehead settling on his shoulder. 

Keith rubbed one hand up and down Lance's back. 

“I've got you,” he repeated.

They sat there in a comfortable silence as Lance pulled himself together. Eventually they shifted away. 

Lance avoided looking at him and wiped a hand under his nose. Before he could stop himself, Keith cupped a hand on Lance's cheek and swiped his thumb over the moisture beneath his eye. Lance looked up slowly, before dropping his eyes again. Keith let his hand fall awkwardly. 

“You're not wearing your suit,” Lance said. 

Keith looked down. He was still in his T-shirt and jacket.

“Yeah, I'll go- you um. Get your stuff I guess and we'll-”

“Yeah.”

Keith got up and walked over to get his suit and helmet only to realize they were both still in the undercarriage of the lion. He had not anticipated needing it on an uninhabited planet with a supposedly stable atmosphere. He moved to the door to go outside and see what he could do.

“Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. Uh, for-”

“Of course.”

 

Lance let Keith guide them along the side of the mountain, leaving behind Blue. He dragged his feet as they plowed on but Keith did not let himself wait up for him, not after the way he had dragged Lance into a hug which had obviously made him uncomfortable. What had he been thinking?

The wind blew large branches through the air that Keith had to be extra careful to avoid since they had to leave his suit behind. The hatch below had been damaged on Blue so there was no way he could retrieve it.

They marched on against the storm’s insistence until they found a shallow cave that was just big enough to block debris. 

They got inside and Lance dramatically dropped his backpack on the floor.

“Be careful with that. If you haven't noticed, we don't have much supplies.”

Lance glared at him. His eyes tired and pleading: _not now_.

Keith sighed and dropped his backpack too, but a little more carefully. Lance sat down on a boulder at the back and put his head in his hands.

Keith found himself staring, contemplating comforting him again or getting their camp set up for the stay. He tensed at the idea of taking the few steps and opening back up, so he knelt down and pulled out the matches from the backpack.

There was not much around to burn in the cave. The wind carried trees and bushes at high speed outside, but no material found its way in. With a look over at Lance, Keith stood up.

“I'll be right back,” he said as he turned for the exit.

“What?” Lance asked, “You're leaving?”

“I'm just going to get some stuff to start a fire for the night.”

“You're not going out there,” Lance said sternly, like there was no question about it.

“Excuse me,” Keith stiffened, raising a challenging eyebrow, “I don't need your permission.”

“Oh yeah?” Lance challenged, “You go out there and you won't be needing anything! ‘Cause you'll be dead!”

“Calm down, Lance! I got us here, didn't I?” 

“Fine. Go out there and kill yourself, see if I care!”

Keith was already turning to leave.

“I warned you!”

 

Keith stumbled back into the cave a couple hours later, cut, bruised, and predictably without any fire-burning material.

Lance had his arms crossed and feet propped up. His eyes closed and face smug. The _I told you so_ was almost palpable.

“I'm not even gonna say-”

“Shut up,” Keith said, “I know.”

He dragged his way to the backpacks, digging for the medical kit. He tore it open, grabbed the gahs and started haphazardly wrapping it around his hands. Lance watched with a pained expression as Keith pulled off his jacket and shirt, obviously wincing.

“Okay, okay. Stop,” Lance said, pulling himself over to Keith, “Just give me those and, ugh, stop _moving._ ”

Keith glared at him but grudgingly handed over the gahs which Lance took, crouching down beside him. Keith tried not to watch Lance's expression as he scanned over Keith's bare and bruised chest.

“Damn Keith, did you get sucked into the tornado or something?”

“Or something,” Keith replied.

Lance took first to Keith's shoulder, which had an ugly gash turning an unhealthy color. He placed careful hands on Keith's skin and Keith tried not to shiver under the touch. 

“You've got to-”

“Clean it first. Yeah, I know, Keith, we were in the same first aid class! Of course you don't _remember_...”

“Sorry, I just don't want you messing up my skin and giving me scars.”

“I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that because I know you're in pain, but can you please stop moving so I can get this done?”

Keith set his jaw and sternly looked away. 

“Okay, now,” Lance pulled a empathetic face, “This is probably gonna hurt like hell so-”

“Just get it over with, Lance.”

Lance started rubbing the alcohol wipes on Keith's wounds. Keith could see his face pull pained expressions at how Keith kept involuntarily wincing.

After he wrapped up that wound, he moved on to the next and the next until the only one remaining was the one on Keith's cheekbone.

Lance cleared his throat as he adjusted his position to start wiping the blood off Keith's face. Keith realized that he could probably do this one himself, but something in him could not stand to ask Lance to stop.

After a few moments in hesitant silence, Lance said quietly, “I wish you hadn't have gone out there.” 

He kept gently dabbing at Keith's cheek and Keith prayed the blood covered the slow spread of red across his skin. 

“I get it,” he said through gritted teeth, trying to keep his face still for Lance, “You told me so-”

“No, I- believe it or not, I don't actually want you to die, Keith.”

Keith looked up into Lance's eyes, confused, searching. Lance stared back thoughtfully, his hand slowed until the tip of the cloth stopped moving and pressed gently below his eye. 

For the first time, Keith actually got a good look at Lance's face. His eyes grazed over the features he already knew: the sharp edges of Lance's jaw, the point of his nose, the tint of his dark skin. Soon, he focused on Lance's eyes again. He had never gotten a good enough look at the shades of dark blue that painted his irises. He had never gotten to see the way you couldn't quite tell where the black of his (now dilated) pupils poured into shades of dark navy and dripped to dance along the edges into licks of deep royal blue before being cut off by the black trim. He tried to memorize how they seemed to move like an ocean as they alternated between which of Keith's eyes he focused on. 

He tried, he really did, to not do it, but he did anyway. His eyes fell down Lance's face and settled on his lips. They were uncharacteristically chapped and dry due to the intense wind and lack of chapstick. There was a tear of his skin at the corner from where he bit into them after blue crashed. An insane thought sprinted through Keith's head about how it would feel to take the wound between his lips and run his tongue along it. The shudder that would run through Lance. The sound he would make. 

Keith stopped and blinked. Wait, what the _hell?_ His eyes widened a bit in shock at where his thoughts had gone. His eyes looked startled back at Lance's. His shot up to meet Keith's as well, not quick enough to miss how Lance had been looking at his mouth too.

Something in the realization shocked him enough to jerk away. The sudden motion shaking Lance out as well and he finally seemed to realize his hand was still on Keith's face and they had started leaning awfully close to one another. 

As the moment broke, Keith straightened his posture. Lance finished up the rest pretty quickly, placing the last bandage right under Keith's eye.

Keith stood up, wincing a bit in pain, Lance still hovering near, holding his arms out carefully, prepared to catch Keith if he were to lose balance. Keith backed away from the gesture.

“I'm fine, Lance. Why don't you just go back to wallowing about Blue and leave me alone for like two seconds?”

Lance's eyes widened in shock for an instance at the change in mood before squinting back hurt and defensive.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Keith? I'm just trying to help you!”

“I didn't ask you to do that!”

“You shouldn't have to! That's what teammates do! They help each other! Not make fun of their pain and push them away.”

Keith looked away and scoffed.

Lance's face grew a shade redder in anger as he leaned forward. Hands held in fists at his side as his eyes bore holes into Keith's turned head. 

“You know, for a minute there, I thought we were getting somewhere!”

Keith looked back at Lance, his eyes questioning but still defensive.

“I thought we were finally starting to make a good team like Coran said,” Lance shouted, Keith hadn't realized how loud his voice was until he could hear it echo back to him around the small cave walls. Something about it had him shrinking away.

“But I guess I was wrong. Have fun with your filthy jacket because I'm using the sheet from the bed. Blue's my lion, so technically it's mine anyway!”

Keith watched silently as Lance yanked the sheet from one of the backpacks, spread it across himself, and flopped on his side, his back toward Keith to face the cave wall.

Keith thought about saying something. He tried to find words that could fix what he screwed up, but none came to mind. He just watched Lance's body heave angry breaths at the wall before turning his gaze to the howling windstorm. 

He would take the first watch, then.

 

Keith spent the night resting his back against the cave wall. He shivered as the temperature dipped but did not look back at Lance's form huddled comfortably in the corner. The bandage on his cheek began peeling and flapped in the wind as he looked out. We mourned the fire he did not get around to building. 

He stared out at the dusty landscape of the planet, the wind carrying branches and dirt through the air. It was rocky and mostly barren, save a few rock formations and spindly trees. It was not unlike the desert of Arizona Keith had spent so long in.

He thought back to the life he used to lead and could not find it in himself to miss it at all. He had been isolated, not to mention hopeless.

Now he had a real sense of purpose, even if from time to time he questioned the legitimacy of his place there. 

He knew the other paladins probably had his same doubts, but none of them could really afford to talk about it. They all relied on mutual understanding and trust.

Right, trust, the thing he had just broken with Lance by snapping at him.

He knew he needed to apologize, but that sort of thing was not in his range of communication. Everyone knew he did not deal well with speaking his mind.

He sighed and looked back at Lance's body as it breathed steady breaths. He resolved to at least try in the morning, for the team’s sake, of course.

 

By the time the sun rose over the alien planet, the raging winds had calmed to a hesitant breeze. The dust in the air had mostly settled and the sky dragged on above at a steady pace.

Keith did not know how many hours it had been since Lance's angry huffs turned to the steady breathing of sleep. He debated waking him up to get started on finding the mineral they came for, but as he contemplated his planned apology, he decided he would give Lance just a little longer to sleep.

Then he heard a groan and shifting from the back of the cave.

“Hmph,” Lance said, “What time is it?”

Keith looked back, “Morning.”

Lance nodded, “How's it looking out there.”

“The way it was probably supposed to look in the first place.”

Lance stood up and stretched, the shoulder pads of his armor had left red marks on Lance's neck. Keith watched as Lance stretched his body, trying to pull away whatever stiffness he must have been feeling from sleeping both on a rock and in armor. 

“We can probably go out to find that rock now before going back to Blue, who knows how long it will take the team to find her.”

Lance just nodded again and walked up to the cave entrance, picking up one of the backpacks to shove the sheet back in.

Keith cleared his throat, “Hey, about last night, I’m-”

Lance held up his hand, “Don't worry about it. Stress, nerves, I get it. We can't all be perfectly in control all the time like me.”

Keith blinked at Lance's smirk. The smile held all of its usual playfulness, but there was something more to it. It was a reassurance that told Keith he was already forgiven. 

He knew he did not deserve it. Really, Lance should be yelling at him more. It may even do him some good to be yelled at. 

But Keith smiled back because how could he not?

They packed up and walked out together in comforting quiet, occasionally broken by Lance cracking some sort of joke Keith did not understand about “craving that mineral”.

It was actually nice to not be bickering. Keith eased into the banter and wondered what on earth he did to deserve to be on a team with this boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying, okay? He has some stuff to work through but he'll get there. Lance is too pure for this world. My cinnamon roll. He is the sun.


	8. Repair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really even know. Keith's subconscious knows more than him. Lance almost says something. Pidge is small.

After the mission, Lance and Keith had not talked much. Granted it had only been about a day, but still. They hadn't called for any training exercises that day since Allura was making plans with the Arusian king to hold some sort of party in the castle. Keith hoped there wouldn't be any sort of etiquette protocols he needed to know because he had never really been to any sort of diplomatic party. 

The break gave Keith sometime to mull over the mission, not that he hadn't done that enough the night before as he lay restlessly in his room. 

He still couldn't believe, no matter how many excuses he gave himself, that he pulled Lance into such an intimate hug. And the way Lance had reacted afterward: pulling away, all awkward and avoiding Keith's gaze. Keith regretted it with everything he had for making it weird with Lance…

Except that he didn't. He didn't regret it at all because when Keith had held him, despite his own self-conscious movements, it was nice. The way Lance had scooted closer and pressed his body to Keith's. The warmth. 

Keith had not been that close to anyone since his freshman year at the Garrison. But yet, that closeness had been completely different from the kind of interactions he with people at parties. It was comforting and comfortable. 

He found himself remembering the touch when doing the most random things. He tilted his bayard to just the right angle when cleaning it, he could feel Lance's forehead on his shoulder. A certain spoonful of goo, he could feel Lance's hands resting gently on his thighs. A light flickered down the empty hall, he could see Lance's eyes meeting his and flicking away.

It was driving him crazy. He could not shake it away. No matter how much he tried to occupy himself, it inevitably drifted back across his thoughts and spread like a virus. 

He had not been paying attention to his direction, walking aimlessly as a distraction. The lights on the castle halls were all on, illuminating every crack, and it almost gave Keith a headache. He tried desperately to think of anything other than the hug, when he found himself at the door to the hangar. 

Pidge and Lance had been in there since they got Blue back, fixing her up and getting her running again. He knew she had at least ‘woken up’, not because anyone told him, but because he could feel it. 

He paused at the door. What would he say if he were to go in? Obviously his subconscious brought him here while he was focused on not thinking, but did he really want to try to talk to Lance after he couldn't shake him from his mind. God, this was annoying.

Suddenly the door flew open and he looked down as Pidge stumbled to a halt.

“Oh hey, Keith.”

“Uh,” he said, “Hey.”

He looked over Pidge to see Lance at Blue’s side with some sort of tool, banging away.

He did not move to walk in or away.

“Hey, earth to Keith,” said Pidge, bringing his eyes back to focus, “Or castle-ship to Keith. Arusia to Keith? Eh, whatever. Could you, you know… move.”

“Oh, right.”

Pidge brushed past him as he stepped aside, but then abruptly turned back.

“Wait, Lance.”

“Yeah,” he looked back at them. Well, I guess there was no backing out now, “Hey Keith.”

“Do we need more-?”

“Uh,” Lance looked around, knocking some tools off the table before picking up and shaking a box, “Sounds like yes.”

“‘Kay,” and Pidge was gone down the hall.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and stepped in. He did not usually just hang out with people for no reason; his free time was spent being productive, filling in the silence with some sort of activity. He did not need to be constantly surrounded by people like Lance did.

He took a few measured steps forward, folding his arms as he tried to think of what to say. This was probably a stupid idea, hell, it wasn't even an idea in the first place. Leaving now would be even weirder though so he wrinkled his nose.

“How's she doing?”

Lance turned back to Keith and smiled, patting her side affectionately.

“Blue’s gonna be just fine. Aren't you, baby?”

The lion let out a low pleased grumble and Keith huffed a laugh.

“Don't listen to him. He's just jealous of us,” Lance said, rubbing a hand on the metal side of the lion above the panel he was working on straightening out.

Keith rolled his eyes. He wondered briefly, if that were true. Not that he was jealous of how Lance and Blue got along, his and Red's relationship had been improving steadily since the attack on the Arusians, but of Lance's relationship with Blue. The feeling in his stomach tugged a bit at the thought and he decided he was not. He still could not decide what to make of it. 

He kept meaning to ask Allura or Coran about the feeling, since the thought of bringing it up to any of his fellow paladins was laughable. He could only imagine their implications when his own implications made him uneasy enough.

Lance looked back up from his work and glanced at Keith.

“Did you need something or did you just come for the view?” said Lance, his eyebrows quirking suggestively. 

Keith snorted again and rolled his eyes, earning a smile from Lance. 

“Just came to see if you and Pidge needed any help fixing up Blue,” he lied.

“Oh,” Lance's voice lifted in suspicion, “Er, sure. Here, come here.”

As he approached, Lance scooted over and held onto the large piece of metal he was working on smoothing out.

“Just,” he moved the piece to Keith's reluctant hands, “Hold this in place so I can-” he motioned banging the hammer in the air.

Keith looked skeptical.

“If you kill me with that, I’ll haunt you til you die then murder you in the afterlife.”

“Wow,” Lance said, “so much for trust and team building.”

Keith sent Lance a glare before readjusting his hold and raising his eyebrows.

Lance shrugged before beginning to pound at the metal trying to bang away the dents. After a few bangs Keith was sure he was making it worse.

“Don't they have some sort of technology to do this?” Keith yelled over the hammer.

“Pidge said it wasn't working right,” Lance yelled back, before stopping the hammer, “Besides, Blue likes my more hands on approach, don't you?”

There was a pause, screamingly absent of any noise from Blue.

Keith smirked over at Lance who gasped and grabbed at his chest dramatically.

“How dare you, Blue?” He said, “After all we've been through?”

Keith rubbed his hand on the dents in the panel, “You're never going to get this straightened out with that.”

“Maybe not, but I can get it right enough to fit back on until Pidge fixes the ray metal fixer thing.”

“Is that a technical term?”

Lance frowned and muttered, “Your mom's a technical term.”

Keith scoffed and shook his head.

Keith put his hand back in place and Lance went back to his hammering. 

They went on like that for a while, taking small breaks to bicker. 

It was like he never even pissed him off in the first place, like nothing had happened. Usually once Keith got under someone's skin they picked him out and flicked him away. He was not use to things just getting brushed off and forgotten. 

He guessed it made sense though, since he apparently had been under Lance's skin from the beginning without even remembering it. There relationship was so backward Keith couldn't quite keep up. He didn't understand how Lance seemed to start hating him less and less the more he got to know him since usually it went the other way around. Nor could he understand why Lance seemed to almost instantly forgive him if he pushed too far. Sure he'd yell back initially, but an hour later it was like nothing significant had happened. 

He guessed it was from all the sibling fights. He wrinkled his nose at the idea of thinking of Lance as a brother.

“Hey,” Lance cleared his throat, breaking the comfortable silence that hung over them after Lance had stopped banging the hammer and started rubbing a cloth on the metal to wipe away the grease.

He stopped and flipped the cloth over in his hands, “Back in the cave…”

Keith tensed, hoping he was not going to bring up Keith's outburst. He was sure Lance forgave him, but the shake in Lance's voice had him second guessing everything he had tried to tell himself.

“Did you-” Lance rubbed his neck, “Were you going to-”

Then suddenly there was the swoosh of a door.

“Next time,” Pidge panted, stumbling into the room carrying a box filled to the top with metal parts, glasses barely peaking over the top, “You're getting this shit.”

Lance jumped away from Keith, “Uh,” then he shook his head, “Whatever, shortstack. I can't keep up with your techno jargon to know half of what you're looking for.”

“What like wire? Hard drive?” Keith asked smirking.

“No, like pyro- gyro-, Pidge!”

“The gyromorphic orientational coordinator?”

“Yeah, see? Do you know what that is? No, didn't think so.”

Keith bit his lip, “What, does that just help the lion adjust its xyz plane gravitational algorithm?”

Pidge blinked, “Yeah, by-”

“Plugging into its logarithmic database and testing gravitational pulls?”

A slow smile spread across Pidge's face before turning to Lance.

Lance pulled his arms together and puffed out his bottom lip, “Oh, whatever. Of course Keith would know, he's a nerd too.”

“Yeah that emo haircut just screams nerd to me too.”

“Hey! It's not emo, it's practical.”

“Oh, and those gloves and skinny jeans are just practical too, right?” Lance smirked.

Keith scowled, “The gloves help protect-”

“Oh, sure. Protection. Definitely not for the aesthetic. Just like that crop jacket.”

“Oh, like you're one to talk!”

“What?” Lance exclaimed, “I am the only one with a normal fashion since around here. Have you even seen Hunk’s cargo shorts? Pidge’s color scheme?”

“Excuse you-”

“And I'll have you know," Lance popped his collar, "My jacket is quite the babe magnet.”

“‘Course it is,” Keith said.

Pidge stood on tiptoes to lean onto Keith's shoulder, tilting a patronizing head at Lance and nodding, “Sure, Jan.”

Keith gave Pidge a sideways glance but tightened his arms and nodded along anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, I'm just crying over Pidge's "I'm sooo emo"


	9. Adhesive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Bonding Moment™

Seeing the castle hall decorated was bizarre. The Arusians were all dressed up but Allura had told them wearing their armor was formal enough, though she did mention that had they been another, more diplomatic, species they would have to wear their designated formal dress.

He was standing with Lance and Hunk during the Arusians' performance, politely trying to keep his composure as Lance mumbled sarcastic comments to him throughout the whole thing. Allura sent the two death glares when Keith snorted and quickly tried to cover it with a cough and Lance smiled victoriously at getting him to lose his cool.

Once the performance had ended Hunk turned to face the two.

“We ought to get something like that.”

Lance looked curious, “Like what?”

“You know, like, a cheer. Like, a team cheer that we do.”

“Mm-hmm,” Lance immediately jumped on, “Yeah, okay. How about, uh... ‘I say Vol’ and you say ‘Tron.’ Vol!”

Keith looked at him confused, leaning forward. Was he- was he supposed to say something?

“Uh... Voltron?”

“No! No, no, no,” he looked at Keith, “The cheer includes the instructions. I say "Vol" and you say…”

“Vol..tron?”

Lance considered him a second before sighing and cracking a small smile at him, “We'll work on it.”

Keith watched Lance take a big sip of the drink Coran had passed out to them all with the remark that he would let them drink this only because it was a special occasion.

Lance gagged dramatically and threw his head to the side.

“Coran, what is this?”

“Oh, this is Nunvill, the nectar of the gods!”

“It tastes like hot dog water and feet!” Lance responded incredulously.

“Yeah,” Coran replied unfazed, “Makes a wonderful hair tonic as well.”

Lance retched.

Keith looked at the drink in his own hand. He had expected it to probably taste like alcohol or something, but after Lance's reaction, he eyed it suspiciously.

He looked back at Lance and he seemed weirdly frozen. His face stuck in some disgusted expression.

Keith leaned over curiously, poking at him, he then teetered and fell over. Hunk gasped and jumped to pick him up.

Keith wrinkled his eyebrows and looked back at the drink. 

“I think Coran is just trying to poison us.”

Keith huffed, “I bet you're just being over dramatic.”

“Oh yeah?” Lance jeered, “Then why don't you taste it?”

Keith frowned at the cup in his hand.

“I dare you.”

Keith squinted at Lance and scowled before turning his eyes curiously to his drink. Then took a big sip.

He immediately regretted it. Feet water had definitely been a good description.

He spit it out and groaned, then heard a scream from Hunk.

“My eyes!”

Keith looked up and a laugh immediately erupted from Keith's stomach and out at the sight of him.

He looked over to see Lance staring at him. The smile of his face grew as he stared at Keith, who was still laughing it off. Lance looked back down at his cup, smile still on his lips. 

Hunk slapped his back in a surprisingly strong gesture. 

“Oh, man,” he wiped tears from his eyes.

Keith smiled back at him. Then something pulled him away and he was swept up into a confusing conversation with a group of Arusians.

Behind him he heard Lance say, “I guess we should get used to this space juice. Who knows when we'll get back home again?”

“Yeah,” Hunk replied, “If ever.”

Then there was Lance's reply, “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, “If this Zarkon guy has been ruling for 10,000 years, how long do you think it will take for us to fix it? You know, if we live.”

“Right,” Lance said, “That.”

“Hey,” he heard Hunk start again, he could see the forced expression of encouragement in his voice, “What do you think the chances are of us landing on a nacho planet?”

“Well, there's only one planet with Veradera Beach, pizza shack looking over the water and the garlic knots and my mom's hugs…” He sniffled, then quickly tried to compose himself, “I'm sorry. I think this Nunvill is getting to me. I gotta go.”

Then he heard Lance's retreating footsteps and Keith looked after him, debating following after. He thought about the moment in Blue when he had not thought for a second to pull Lance in his arms and comfort him. He blamed that on instinct in combination with the sudden deprivation of Blue’s presence, but he still wanted to reach out and follow him, comfort him.

But then he saw Coran catch sight of Lance and follow. He would probably be better company for Lance anyway if he was looking for comfort. After all, Coran had just lost his entire home planet and could probably empathize more than Keith ever could with Lance's apparent homesickness.

He was still staring down the hallway after the two when he noticed Shiro trailing after Pidge, then Allura noticed and walked toward the two. Naturally, he decided to check it out and Hunk followed after him.

Apparently, Pidge had decided he would take off and leave in search of his family just when they all finally bonded and started working together. They were a team, they could not lose a member of Voltron if they were ever going to beat Zarkon. Besides, Pidge could not just up and leave on his own anyway, not now. 

“You can't leave!” Keith bursted.

Pidge snapped back with equal force, “You can't tell me what to do!”

Keith could feel his anger rising.

“If you leave, we can't form Voltron. And that means we can't defend the universe against Zarkon. You're not the only one with a family! All these Arusians have families! Everyone in the universe has families!”

Then Hunk started talking about leaving and that just fired him up more. They all wanted to leave him.

Keith snapped again, “You're putting the lives of two people over the lives of everyone else in the entire galaxy!”

“Keith, that's not how a team works,” Shiro said with that infuriating level headedness, “People have to want to be a part of it. They can't be forced. If you want to leave, we won't try to stop you. But, please, just think about what you're doing.”

“I'm sorry. You're going to have to find someone else to pilot the Green Lion.”

“I can't believe it,” Allura said, “This team is falling apart. How will we ever form Voltron?”

He was still fuming. He did not understand how Pidge could want to just up and leave. Did he not see the importance of their team? Why did he not seem to feel the same bondage to this mission? To this team? Had all their bonding not meant as much to the rest of the team?

Then suddenly the castle was shaking and people were screaming and everything was just going to shit. The first place his thoughts went was to Lance and he took off down the way him and Coran had gone. The group trailed after, telling him good job for running to the control room during the blackout. He did not mind enough to correct them.

They entered the room and the first thing they saw was dust. Next was the hunched body of Coran struggling to get to his feet. He searched for Lance, frustrated by the clouds of dust that prevent his vision, but then he saw him and froze.

Shiro ran to him and Keith felt the ground fall beneath his feet. He did not look well. His skin was dirty and his suit behind his back damaged. He had a brief thought that Lance may be dead and his body filled with terror.

They soon discovered that was not the case, but Lance was still badly injured. As Shiro examined Lance in his arms, Keith found himself leaning closer to his face. He was out cold. His eyes closed and mouth cracked slightly open, his usually flawless skin scratched and soot-covered.

A shot of anger ran through his spine. If he had just followed Lance before this would never have happened. He could have been there. He could have done something. But of course he had been too hesitant to get himself to do it. It took his lungs a bit longer to catch up to his heaving chest.

The Arusian king came running in desperately, breaking the room and Keith’s concentration on Lance's unconscious form. 

The weight of the situation hit him and he was eager to go. The sudden burst of anger and adrenaline surprised him but he used it as a motivator. Only, their lions were trapped and their defenses down.

“Will you not help us?”

“We'll help you,” he said, then his resolve slipped, “We just-”

Lance groaned and his attention refocused on the tall boy now laying limp on the floor. 

As Pidge developed a plan, he debated between offering to stay and watch Lance while Shiro went to the village. But Shiro looked stronger and more capable of protecting Lance and there was nothing Keith could really do for him anyway.

“I'll go see what's happening at the Arusian village,” he said.

Allura decided to come too and they took off, following behind the anxious king.

 

The sudden realization that the village attack was a distraction sent a stone dropping to the pit of Keith's stomach. He was being more reckless, running on adrenaline and determination, he had not thought once that maybe this was a trick. 

As Allura and he sprinted to the castle doors, a frustrated grunt exploded out of him. The particle barrier was up and he pounded on it. 

“We're too late,” he said stunned.

Then the stun broke and he yelled out a rough “no”.

He was not used to feeling this helpless. Usually, he was just fighting for his own safety, not an entire team. The dreaded thought crossed his mind that he would not be able to protect them all this time and it filled him with a sudden rage and he hit the barrier again. This was not good. There was nothing he could do. The village was burning. The castle was being taken and he was stuck with nothing to do or work with. 

The thought of losing all this was too much. He needed to get in.

“Can we break through the barrier?”

“No. And whoever has taken the Castle has a crystal, which means they'll be able to fly the ship. We have to stop them.”

“How are we going to do that?”

Fortunately, there is a crackle in his ear and a voice is breaking through his comm, “Keith, can you hear me?”

“Pidge, is that you? Where are you?”

Pidge was still in the castle, to his and Allura's relief. She immediately began walking him through a plan that Pidge automatically accepted. He hoped the determination in Pidge's tone suggested a change of heart about staying.

As Pidge focused on getting to where Allura had directed, Allura dropped her head in relief. Keith looked back at the barrier, its low hum sounding like a thousand angry bees.

After a moment, Allura broke the silence, “Lance will be okay.”

Keith looks over at her and wrinkled his eyebrows. Why did she feel the need to say that now? And why was she looking at him like that.

“I know,” he said. 

She considered him a second, then started, “Keith, if you ever need-”

Then Pidge's voice broke through again and Keith sighed in relief. He did not have the patience right then for a quality heart to heart. But the relief soon turned to panic when Pidge's comm broke out.

Luckily, Allura had another plan. He had to admire her quick wit, even if her plan was to rely on telepathic communication with space rodents.

While Allura gave mental instructions to the mice, Keith wondered how long they had been waiting. The night had shifted to day. He wondered the state Lance was in despite Allura's assurance that he would be fine. In cases like Lance's, hours could be the difference in barely making it and not.

He only realized he was scowling at the ground when Allura placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“We can get through this. Don't worry.”

He nodded politely, biting back the angry bouts that threatened to explode out. He shifted slightly away from her hold.

Allura sighed and removed her hand. She opened her mouth to speak again when there was a loud crackle.

When the wall broke, Keith let out a surprised “it worked!” then hit the ground running. He crashed through the halls and into the control room to find Pidge in a choke hold. A glance around the room saw Shiro tied up and Lance still out cold.

The second he took to try to form a plan he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye.

He followed it to see Lance stir, jerking his body up and swinging his gun painfully into his lap. He gave Keith a meaningful look which Keith returned by flicking his eye to Pidge's aggressor. Lance did the same before shooting. His eyes met Keith's one last time before he passed back out.

It took him half a second to shake his head of the sight of Lance's miraculous recovery and take the opportunity he had given him. Once he took the time to strike, he was reinvigorated and gave it everything he had.

He was sent sprawling quickly after Pidge apparently chopped off the charge of Sendak’s electric arm. He watched Pidge and waited for another opening to attack, then hit with his sword, but it apparently got caught and he was standing in a stalemate. 

Suddenly, he heard Allura yell, “Keith, now!”

He did not know what she meant, but took advantage of his enemies distracted look and kicked him into the force field, trapping him.

He laid from where he had fallen, dumbstruck, for a moment then noticed that Pidge had jumped up to cut Shiro loose. He broke from his haze and immediately remembered Lance. 

He bolted toward him, surprised to see him trying to pull himself up. He leaned down carefully, offering his hand to help him up. 

“Lance,” he said, “Are you okay?” 

Lance moved to stand up but they both realized he was too hurt for that. Not letting go of Lance's hand, Keith sat down with him. 

“We did it,” lance said. 

Keith almost said, 'what are you talking about we? You were passed out', but then remembered the looks they shared, their silent piecing together of a plan that only they knew, and thought better of it. He stared at him speechless and instead stayed quiet and watched Lance's face as he turned to him. 

“We are a good team.”

Lance smiled at him, and he may have looked a little rough and they may have been surrounded by disaster and he may have been able to hear Sendak pounding away at the force field, but it was still the best smile he had ever seen. He could not help the smile that grew in response. 

Keith felt a jump in his stomach when Lance squeezed his hand again. He found himself swimming once more in the blue of Lance's eyes. 

In an instinctual response to the urgency of the situation, he opened his mouth to speak. 

Whatever he was going to say was lost to Shiro's usually booming voice, now weakened, asking, “Is he alright?” 

Lance coughed and Keith’s head shot back to him, placing his other hand comfortingly on Lance's back. To Keith, who was not used to this kind of comfort (the last time had been driven by that weird Blue bond thing, or at least that's what he told himself. This was all on him and he did not know what was going on), it was so many things at once: a question, a statement, and something else he does not quite know how to put into words. Lance leaned back into it, choking and spitting out blood. 

Keith shook his thoughts away, leaning forward suddenly anxious.

“Lance?” he asked, concern coating the sound as Lance began to black out again. 

Keith's head shot back to the others. 

“Hey,” he yelled, “We need help.”

Keith started panicking. He had never had to deal with this kind of worry before. He had never felt worried about Shiro leaving on missions, and when he went missing, he never felt worried either. He was always confident that Shiro was still out there, fighting his own just fine. Except at nights when he had doubted, but, when that happened, he would immediately go to the blue lion’s cave. He never let himself wallow in it. He had never let himself really feel it, not like he was right then.

“Lance!” He heard Allura yell as she ran up behind him, “Keith! Is he alright?”

“Um,” Keith said, he began frantically moving his hands around Lance, trying to get a better look at him. He could see bits of dried blood sticking to the skin that the suit now revealed. He pressed his fingers to Lance's neck, relieved when he felt the low flutter of his pulse. 

“He just passed out, but his pulse is still light. He- he needs help.”

Allura nodded, “We need to get him to a healing pod now.”

Keith did not hesitate to wrap his arms around Lance's back. He debated throwing him over his shoulders, but that would worsen the wound, so instead, with one arm he hugged Lance's body to his chest and lifted up his legs with the other. 

He followed Allura's lead as she rushed him to the medbay. His eyes trained forward, stepping with determination. He knew if he looked down at Lance now he might lose it. 

“Keith?”

The breathless voice shocked him from his concentration. He could only spare Lance a glance before looking back up. He did not look good.

“You're gonna be fine, Lance. We're gonna fix you up.”

“Good," his weak voiced cracked, "But just in case-”

“No,” Keith said.

“I need to tell you-”

“No, Lance. It can wait until after we fix you up. You're not gonna- you're not gonna die right now.”

Lance sighed and his eyes fluttered closed again, head falling into Keith's shoulder as he passed back out.

 

He sat on the hard medbay floor, arms crossed and lips pursed. It did not look right. The fluids flowed around Lance and it seemed like he should have been drowning. Lance asleep, restful, and quiet was just wrong and Keith wondered at it as he watched him float. 

He had only left the room once to get a shower since they got Lance in there. He could remember the exact way the blood from his hands ran down the drain.

The others had piled behind them as Keith rushed to the medbay. Allura got there ahead of time, preparing a pod and clearing a space. The moment he got in there, Allura was at his side, directing him to lay Lance down and roll him over to his stomach. 

She immediately began stripping off his armor, motioning for Keith to start doing the same on the other side. The others stood back watching.

“Okay, Keith,” she said, “You're going to help me. First, I need you to remove the flightsuit from the wound. Carefully, now, we don't need to move the shrapnel around any more than it already has.”

Keith swallowed and started carefully peeling the cloth from where it stuck to the blood on his back. He averted his eyes once he saw the severity of the injury. There were multiple gashes from his shoulder blade down to his mid back, burn marks scorched along the sides and top of his skin, forming blisters and already beginning to peel. Metal bits that had worked their way under the back guard and through his suit poked out on the lower and uppermost wounds. 

Allura returned to the table, handing Keith a cloth soaked in some kind of cleaning liquid. She snapped the gloves on her hand and picked up the tweezer tool. 

Carefully, she pulled the debris out piece by piece of the gash under Lance's right shoulder as Keith dabbed gently at the surrounding skin. Once the last piece was pulled out, she told him to rinse the wound with one of the liquids to help keep it from infecting while they worked on the others.

He dampened a cloth with the liquid then held it between his hands which hovered hesitantly over the cut. With an anticipatory cringe, he twisted the towel and the liquid dripped into the wound. 

Immediately, Lance's body arched at the pain and a low whimper escaped his lips. Keith place a hand on Lance's side on a patch of bare skin that was not severely damaged. Lance's stomach plopped back on the mattress but soft whines continued to fall from his mouth as Keith tried to carefully disinfect the wounds.

As Allura pulled out another particularly large piece of metal, a choked sob ripped through the room and Keith felt his eyes starting to burn.

“Isn't there something we can give him?”

“We're almost done," said Allura, "then the healing pod will prevent any trace of pain signals from entering his brain.”

Keith swallowed but nodded as he went back to cleaning up after Allura, trying desperately to block out the sounds of Lance's pained screaming.

Once they finished up, Keith helped her pull Lance into the suit for the pod. He tried to pull it carefully over his back, his hands gently moving across his burnt and torn skin. He pulled Lance into a hug like hold and carried him to the pod, helping Allura situate him inside. 

After everything was settled, they all took a moment and watched Lance float there. Keith wondered how aware Lance was of everything going on. He hoped he would not remember the pain of their makeshift surgery or the most likely surreal feeling of the pod. 

Allura broke the entrancing silence with a loud sigh before turning back to the group with a reassuring smile. She peeled off her gloves and threw them away into a disposal near the table where they had just pulled tens of pieces of shrapnel from Lance's bloodied back. Keith looked down at his hands, stained red. He tried to wipe it away with a cloth on the table but realized he was only smearing it around.

He sighed and settled in with the group, now standing at the opposite end of the medbay from Lance's pod.

Allura looked at them reassuringly, “After a day in here, he should be fully healed.”

They took a moment to acknowledge that before Shiro spoke up, turning to Pidge. He thanked Pidge for everything, saying that he felt like Pidge belonged with them, before saying he understood if he felt the need to leave. 

Pidge looked back with resolve, “Dad used to tell me how close he was with his crew members. They were like family.”

Keith inhaled at the thought. Were they like family? These people that he had barely known less than a month that he now had fought side by side with. Laughed with. Bonded with. Is that what they were to him?

“Now I understand what he was talking about. I'm staying with you guys. Let's stop Zarkon for all of our families.”

Pidge looked proud and determined, the sight quirked Keith's mouth into a fleeting smile. He glanced over at Shiro, the proud dad smile covered half his face. He trained his eyes back on Pidge.

He did not know if he felt a real familial connection to all of the team yet, but he did know he could not stand the thought of them breaking apart. They were stronger together and Pidge was essential. He could not imagine the group without him. 

He looked down at Pidge, “Good to have you back on the team.”

Pidge smiled up at him and he felt like they knew exactly what the other was feeling in that moment.

After that, the team had trickled out slowly, but Keith did not. He stayed behind, biting his lip at the tranquility of Lance's sleep state. Memories of all the usual energy that radiated out of him projected in his mind. His teasing to his smiles to the distant look in his eyes before he broke off from the party.

He sighed and flopped onto the floor. He stayed there only a little longer before he could no longer stand the feeling of crusted blood on his hands.

When he returned from his shower, he resumed his spot on the floor. He refused to leave for dinner, the thought of leaving the medbay was strangely sickening. He did not think Lance should be alone because, if he were awake in there, he would have hated that. Keith's head dropped back to rest against the table now clear of surgical supplies that Allura had cleaned off while he was in the shower.

Another hour passed and another. The castle’s lights began to flicker off as they did at the scheduled sleeping hour. Allura drifted in once to check on Lance's vitals and she encouraged Keith to head back to his room and get some sleep. He just nodded absently at the sentiment, eyes focused on Lance's stagnant form.

The quiet stretched for hours after that. Keith felt like he was stuck in one moment that spread across hours and hours where his mind was almost absent of concrete thought but filled with unworded emotion. 

His eyes fell closed eventually, as the feeling grew around him, surrounding his conscious mind and dragging him under. The only worded thought he could remember before he fell asleep was that he would not let this happen again.

 

A few hours later saw Keith jolt awake. His head slammed against the counter behind him and he shifted uncomfortably on his position on the floor. His breathing was rapid and heart pounding. He could not quite remember the subject of his nightmare, his mind only half awake. 

He glanced frantically around the room before remembering where he had fallen asleep. His eyes flutter shut again to the sight of Lance's sleeping form, reassuring him they would all be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was long af and I know it was a lot of just the episode's plot but I tried to make it mostly original things but that was a little difficult without including the plot of everything else that was happening.  
> Also thank you so much for commenting, I cry. ILY all so much!!


	10. Acknowledgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The after effects of said Bonding Moment™

Keith had been so anxious to get Lance out of the pod. He barely ever left the room. He tapped on the glass. He would not have guessed that only an hour after Lance actually did get out he would be so upset. 

He had been anxious before when the time had finally come to get him out. And sure, right when he did get out and Keith heard that familiar voice he had been just as pleased as everyone else in the room. But he was paying hyper attention to every move Lance made and begged him with every shift in weight and eye flicker for Lance to just look at him. 

But he did not, not more than a small smile, the same he gave everyone else in the room except the huge hug Hunk got, but Keith understood that, he guessed. They had been friends for forever, or so it seemed. Keith had expected more though, maybe at least some form of acknowledgement. 

Then he flirted with Allura and he just snapped. 

In his mind, logically, he knew it was a light hearted comment. He was pretty sure there was nothing behind Lance's flirtatious jokes anymore. Allura and he had been a lot more friendly recently and Lance's comments had been mostly playful. But for some reason, the words punched him straight in the gut.

He was shocked at the feeling and quickly pushed it aside and crossed his arms. 

He did not know why he was so angry all of a sudden, not just exasperated like the others seem to be at Lance's typical behavior. They all shared the same look, a little relieved to hear his antics again, but not Keith. 

He had to look away. No, correct that. he had to get out of there, right now. Something in him was gnawing and peeling at his skin. It was confusing as hell but he could not even look at Lance.

Lance, the boy he had slept on the hard ground waiting up for. Lance, the owner of the face he watched slowly gain health behind the pod glass. The spirit behind that face, finally animate again. 

He looked well again, for the most part. It was right to have his smirking mouth and jumping eyes doing just that. The energy Lance radiated really accentuated his features. Even as exhausted as he must have been, nobody could wear Lance's body quite like he could. The life behind Lance's face was what Keith had been waiting for, but now that he was here, paying attention to Allura and everyone else instead of him, he could barely look at the guy.

The group began looking after Lance, directing him to all the things he needed to do to care for himself and Keith took the opportunity to excuse himself. Allura gave him a surprised questioning look as he did so. If he were her, he would have been confused as well. For a guy who waited hours for this boy to wake up, he seemed in quite a rush just to get the hell out and go anywhere else.

 

He went to the training room. The hours he spent in the medbay where the most he had been away from training over the whole time they had been in this castle. 

He went through gladiator after gladiator, not pausing for a drink or a breath. He functioned like a machine, willing himself not to think about any of it. Not Lance's unnoticing eyes. Not his stupid face. His lack of attention.

 

Not too long later, Coran came looking for him, informing him they were about to have an “informal gathering” in the dining room to fill Lance in on everything. 

Grudgingly, he pulled himself to join the rest. Once he got there where the were not only filling Lance in, but apparently watching him eat. 

He was last to arrive. The others were already in there place, but a sudden intense feeling filled him and he did not want to stand in the back. He pulled himself to sit on the table, right where Lance could see him. He did not know why that bit mattered so much, but it did.

Everyone filled him in on Pidge's exploits and Coran and Hunk’s mission.

Then, for the first time since Lance woke up, he looked at Keith truly, in the eyes, and addresses him. And of course those first words were: “Seems like the mice did more than you.”

It is not like there was any bite behind it. It was not any more than their usual bickering, but on top of everything else Keith had been feeling, he felt a deep stab. It was- it was like he did not even remember what they went through.

As his face surely portrayed his disbelief, he wondered. Did Lance not remember their planning? The look they shared before- "I punched Sendak" he said, hoping to see a spark of remembrance. He found himself hoping desperately for Lance to remember, but why, he was not totally sure.

"Yeah," Lance replied unconvinced, "Right after I emerged from a comma and shot his arm off." 

He could hear Lance's voice vocalize the tone in which he said that. It said, “I know I’m cool, but not that cool.”

He felt his gut twist tighter. His eyes widened in shock, his hands flew up. He rarely talked with his hands, but they darted about expressively anyhow. 

His voice cracked as he yelled about their bonding moment, trying to convince him. How could Lance not even remember. But, he sounded certain.

Keith was sure he would not just say that, would he? Lance would not purposefully reject him like that, would he? They were starting to be friends, right? 

He heard a voice in his head, a small one, actually trying to reason with his anxieties. Lance had pretty bad head trauma as well as the burns and gashes. He was torn up and amnesia is not uncommon in serious injuries.

Regardless, Keith was not assured. Surely, Keith had thought, he would remember that. It was significant. Or at least, it was to Keith. He felt lost, like Lance was a step behind him now. 

This, Keith realized, was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. He had always been so emotionally distant and it was all to avoid caring more than he was cared about. Growing up, he was used to that feeling and tried everything he could to block it out. He had built up his walls so as not to let himself develop connections, because time and time again, if he ever opened up, he got shot immediately. From abandonment to rejection, the universe never failed to kick him in the face and he had learned from that. Or at least he thought he had, but now here he was being drowned all over again. His wall had fractured only slightly, but just enough to be punched in the throat. 

He set his jaw, but could not shake the desperation in his eyes. He shared one last glance with Lance, but he could see they was in different places. 

All at once he snapped and he shut down. Keith decided then and there that he was not going to be a part of this anymore. He would open up just enough to get Voltron together, but past that.. no more bonding or whatever with everyone, and definitely no more with Lance.

Somewhere distantly, he heard Hunk keep talking. Apparently the room came to some consensus and they were planning on taking off. 

Suddenly, in response to Shiro’s "time to man up" Pidge stood up, "Wait..."

As they listened to Pidge confide in them, Keith felt himself feel for her. It was familiar, he realized. The way Pidge seemed confident they would accept her, but still at least a little unsure. He felt his resolve slip a bit. It mirrored almost the way he tried to come out for the first time and got shot down. He thought back to his decision to work hard so no family had to go through what he went through. Suddenly, he ached to be comforting and reassuring, but he did not know how to, nor was he in the right mind to try too hard. 

He did not need to, though. He was proud of her for speaking up, but Pidge did not really need to hear that, Keith thought. So instead, after Hunk said he figured, keith said, "oh yeah, me too" and hoped that got it across as well as he needed it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to finish this before season two but I'm not sure it's gonna happen.


	11. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is definitely not jealous

Once they landed for the summon on the way to the Balmera, Keith rolled his eyes immediately. Of course the first stop they took would have a relatively attractive alien for Lance to flirt with because the universe hated him. 

Keith had spent most the ride there adding sarcastic comments to Hunk's melt down and avoiding Lance. But apparently the fact he was now trying to shut out the blue paladin did not mean the nagging feeling in his stomach went away when he watch Lance gush all over this chick.

Even though he pointedly did not watch as he fell all over this girl, he could practically hear Lance pulling those flirty smiles and quirking his eyebrows suggestively.

He tightened his jaw and folded his arms tighter, trying to hold back this anger. What was wrong with him? Lance was just being Lance, wasn't that what he had wanted back?

He tried to tune out Lance's incessant flirting and instead turned to focus on the other alien.

He was not too unattractive, Keith thought. He considered him a moment as he blurred through their whole spiel and the guy, Rolo, explained their situation. Once everyone broke off to work on or fix something, he realized he did not really have anything to help out with. 

“Hey,” Rolo said, drawing Keith's attention, “You don't seem to have much to do, wanna keep me company?"

Keith froze for a second and tossed his head in Lance's direction. As he saw Lance leaning and the girl let out a flirtatious laugh, he made up his mind. He put on the most suggestive smile he could muster and followed the guy back to his ship. 

He situated himself to lean on the metal wall while Rolo poked around, doing some sort of repair. 

“So,” Rolo started, “Are you like the head of this team?”

Keith laughed a bit at that, “No, definitely not. That's Shiro. I'm not really the leader type.”

The guy quirked him a smile, a glint in his eye, “I find that hard to believe.”

Keith felt his face grow hot and looked down. 

“What about you, you pilot this thing right? That's pretty impressive.”

Rolo laughed, “Thanks.”

Keith found himself drifting through their light, borderline flirty conversation. He had not flirted much since Freshman year at the Garrison, and even then it was with horny and tipsy boys that also did not know what they were doing. He figured if Lance could do it, so could he. It felt like revenge, which did not make any sense to him, but it did anyway. 

Rolo had just complimented him again and it was actually kind of flattering, having someone pay attention to him like that for once. He knew his face was a bright shade of red as he let himself look over at Lance again. Surprising, he caught Lance's gaze across the way and they locked eyes. A moment later Lance shook his head and guided Nyma toward the ship.

He knew immediately what Lance was doing and debated going after him. These people were still strangers after all, they probably should not trust them inside the castle. But he knew the way it would look if Keith ran after him now and decided against it, turning his head determinedly back at Rolo.

They went on like they had for a while before they settled into a weighted silence as Rolo worked and Keith leaned back and watched, asking the occasional question or listening to Rolo’s sporadic compliments.

Suddenly, Rolo announced he was going to go for a test run and Keith was mildly surprised he had not asked him to go along. He knew he had not been the smoothest, but had he really been doing that bad?

Then they were gone.

 

After fighting it out and knowing Lance's ‘date’ had not gone well, he felt better. The endorphins were coursing through his veins, egging him on. He felt his confusing jealousy slip away as he spoke up to Lance over the comm.

He meant to rub it in his face but ending up sounding more genuine when he told Lance he got his lion back.

Lance sounded relieved as he thanked him. A feeling stirred in him and he started feeling a little more playful and open. He blamed it on adrenaline and not the full attention he had from Lance as they bantered. 

He smiled at it, knowing Lance could not see. This was what he had really been missing. Their bantering, just them. It was so easy, like nothing else he had really ever had before and he wanted it, just for himself. He stops at the realization of what those words could mean, but he did not want to read into it.

He laughed a bit at Lance's pleading tone, then stopped responding, letting Lance whine at him as he turned back to go unchain his lovable moron.

 

He stared up at the ceiling that night after they took off again, resetting their course for the Balmera. 

When Keith had arrived to unchain Lance, it had been a little awkward to say the least. There was really no normal way to lean around someone to cut handcuffs off. Especially not when the someone happened to be a huge flirt that lived off innuendos.

He had played along, though, instead of brushing Lance off and maybe that had been what made it so weird. Lance seemed just as surprised as Keith was as he returned his half assed comments with a one suggestively quirked eyebrow.

After a moment of silence, Lance cleared his throat and Keith quickly cut off the cuffs, leading him back to their lions.

He could not believe he let himself flirt back like that. It immediately drained the elation from his system and they did not speak much after that. Lance kept eying him suspiciously but whenever Keith looked back, his eyes darted away.

Keith sighed and rolled over on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow. He knew Lance would never like him like that, he had just been so caught up in the moment he let himself-

Wait, like him like what? Keith’s stomach flipped. What was he implying? Why would he want Lance to like him like that. They were teammates, and from his apparently proclaimed rival, really all he could hope to grow into was friends, wasn't it? And it was not like he felt anything more for Lance either. He was annoying and loud and got under his skin, sure he maybe felt a little jealous when Lance directed his attention somewhere else, but-

Oh shit. No no no. Keith was not ready for any of that nonsense. He closed his eyes, willing his brain to follow some other train of thought, but his mind kept returning to Lance's remarks and smiles and… 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has actually been pretty slow burn. Much more so than I intended, but here it starts, finally. Lol


	12. Flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I headcannon the castle ship has a greenhouse full of Altean plants.

The next morning after the distress call situation, they all piled into the dining room exhausted. Keith probably only looked better than the rest because he was used to the lack of sleep. Pidge, however was a disaster. Her hair looked even more unkempt than usual, her glasses were tilted and there had not been a single minute since she walked in the door where she had not broken the silence with a loud yawn.

Hunk was just sleeping flat out on the table with his head in his elbows. Shiro was rubbing his temples at his cup of space-coffee like it was the most confusing math problem in the universe. The room itself seemed to be drenched in the delirious haze of weariness.

And then Lance sauntered in, face as shiny and flawless as ever. Of course. Keith groaned at the sight and flopped his head in his crossed arms on the table.

“I'd say goodmorning but it looks like a funeral in here.”

“It is,” Pidge grumbled through another yawn, “Mine. Au revoir, see you in the afterlife space rangers along with my energy and motivation.”

“Wow, what's got you all down in the dumps?”

“What's got you all- all-” Keith started, waving his hand floppily in Lance's general direction.

“Awake,” Hunk finished for him.

“The miracles of skin care and relaxation works wonders boys,” Lance said, flopping into an open chair, which was, of course, right next to Keith’s.

There was another long quiet where Hunk flopped his head back down, Shiro moved to pick up his drink but did not bring it to his mouth, but continued to contemplate it, and Keith stared back into space with his arms crossed.

Then Lance clapped loudly and the room groaned, “Wake up, guys. I heard Coran talk about mind meld training today since we still have a long way to the Balmera and not much else to do training wise and I don't need all these bad vibes.”

The others groaned and Keith shifted uncomfortably. His mind was already scattered enough after his emotional turmoil the night before, the last thing he needed was the team poking around in his brain.

The Allura strode in, just as put together as always. Keith wondered if Alteans even needed sleep. Or if they hoarded it up like rations and since they had slept for ten thousand years could now stay awake for like twenty thousand more.

“Alright, Paladins, just because yesterday was a little rough doesn't warrant a break.”

“Shouldn't exhaustion from a fight be one of the main things that does warrant a rest,” Pidge complained.

“A rest? You want to rest? Do you think Zarkon is resting?”

There were some distinct grumbled around the room but no one dared reply.

“Exactly,” she said, taking her seat at the head of the table, “I thought we'd start today with some trust exercises just to get your blood pumping a little, nothing too extraneous.”

“Girl, you got my blood pumping just being in the room,” Lance drawled.

The room became a cacophony of moans and grumbles, but Keith bit his lip and set his jaw. He may be used to tiredness, but he still did not need to deal with this first thing in the morning.

He was willing to admit at this point that what he was feeling was jealousy, but he was convinced it was not because he liked Lance or anything. He just... It was just that he liked when Lance paid him attention and all his comments to anyone else were just really annoying. He was just annoyed with Lance's constant pursuits that's all.

Allura began explaining some sort of Altaen bonding game that maybe Pidge was following, for the rest of them it was way too early.

She was in the middle of trying to explain some Altaen cultural practice for context for the game when Lance interrupted.

“Let's just skip the foreplay and get right to-”

Before Lance could even finish, Keith had enough. He shoved away from the table and stormed to the door, leaving the whole group staring wide-eyed at his outburst. Lance looked bewildered.

He mumbled something about training alone and calling him for the mind meld as he all but bolted for the door. He needed to get his temper under control because it was not like Lance was just going to change his behaviors for whatever this was with Keith.

As he failed to control his breathing and stomped down the hall, he heard the clutter of a chair from the dining room. He groaned and did not even bother turning back.

“Shiro, I'm fine. Just let me-”

“Keith, wait.”

Keith stopped in his tracks and let Lance catch up. He crossed his arms and set his jaw, determined to look anywhere but Lance's eyes.

“Wait,” Lance stopped a couple feet away, “Are you- are you okay? I don't know why you'd tell me but, that look you gave me and you just seem really pissed. And you've been acting kind of off lately and I just- you're not mad at me, right?”

Keith let his arms loosen a bit and considered Lance, “No.”

“Wait, 'no' like you are not mad at me or 'no' you're not not mad at me.”

Keith was unimpressed, “No.”

“Just tell me what I did wrong so I don't do it again, I guess. I don't know, I just thought we were starting to really bond, like you said and I don't want to ruin that.”

“Lance,” Keith sighed, “It's not your fault. It’s- I'm just tired, that's all. We are still-”

Friends, he was going to say, but he could not quite get his mouth to say it. Were they friends? Lance had always called them rivals but the friendly competitions in training and the bickering did not feel malicious anymore. But they still did not act like him and Hunk or him and Pidge or even Keith and Shiro. 

Lance bit his lip at him, “Just, ever since I woke up you have been acting different. And you just seem to get angry like whenever I talk to-”

Lance paused then looked at Keith. He felt his whole face blazing, this was not happening. Lance seemed to drop his composure and really consider Keith. He squirmed under the scrutiny but was determined to keep his expression stern.

“Hm,” was all Lance said. 

Lance looked like he was really debating his next words. Keith had no idea what he was thinking and really did not want to know. 

Lance suddenly shook his head and looked back at Keith, “Uh, well if you say it's nothing and you're not mad at me then I'll just-”

Lance abruptly turned and walked out.

 

A few days after what Keith had labeled The Talk, he and Lance had not spoken much. There was the same occasional comment from Keith at Lance in training, but other than that, they had been pretty void of contact.

Keith was starting to wonder if the way Lance was distancing himself was because of The Talk. 

Really, Keith had not said much. Lance had done most of the talking and apparently drew some sort of conclusion, but what that was, Keith did not know. On the one hand, he kind of wished Lance had shared it with him because honestly Keith did not know what the fuck was going on. But on the other, he was a little hesitant to know. He found Lance throwing him a lot of torn looks. His usually smirking face looked oddly pensive and confused, which concerned Keith. 

But as it went on, Keith went from concerned to downright annoyed. Whenever Keith tried to jab at him with some remark that would usually start up their bickering, all he got in response was a muttered comment and awkward smile. 

Once, Lance had been guiding Keith through the maze and ran him straight into a wall, electrocuting him immediately. Keith replied by glaring up at the control station and muttering a heated 'fuck you' and all Lance said back was “sorry”. Sorry. Lance actually apologized to Keith. He was so surprised he completely missed Lance's next set of instructions.

Keith was on his way to the Observatory to try and think it through before confronting Lance. He just needed them back to where they were before. He had gotten used to Lance's banter as a constant in the hell storm that was now his life and Lance was taking that away. He kept going over The Talk in his head but there was nothing Keith had particularly said that stuck out that could have possibly pissed off Lance. Moreover, Lance did not even seem pissed off, just distant and thoughtful, which was really not Lance. 

He just needed to try and organize his thoughts enough to talk to Lance on a very basic level to get this sorted out. 

Keith really was not good at communication of any sort. He was more action oriented, but in conflict, he was not even that. If at all possible, Keith would just ignored any problem that involved emotion. Whenever there had been conflict with any of the other kids in a home, he would shut down immediately. Once, one of the girls in a foster home he was in had asked him if he wanted to go out with her. He definitely did not want to do that but he did not know how to tell her no. So instead, he stopped talking to her. In fact, he stopped talking to everyone. He stopped sleeping, for the most part. It even got so bad that Keith stopped eating for almost a week. He passed out during gym class and they had to switch him to a new home because he would not talk enough to anyone to tell them what had happened. 

So this was probably not going to be the easiest thing Keith had ever done. But, he knew that if this weird strain on his and Lance's relationship got more distant, they could probably not form Voltron. So really he was doing this for the team, not himself, and he could pull together enough of his thoughts to accomplish that much. 

But what Keith was even going to say, or what topic they were even talking about, was completely unknown. That's why he needed to just sit down and think it over on the Observatory floor. 

He turned the corner of the hallway and approached the door, but he found it already open. Curiously, he peaked inside. 

Lance was sitting on one of the window frames, leaning against the glass and staring out at the stars.

Keith wavered in the doorway. He shifted his weight from foot to foot as he considered Lance. On long leg was stretch in front of him while the other dangled over the side. Lance was tracing lines on the glass with ghosting fingers.

Eventually he cleared his throat and Lance jumped.

“Beautiful, isn't it?”

Lance turned to look at Keith, startled. Even from the other side of the room he could see Lance's dark skin tint a shade of red. Because he was surprised, of course.

Lance gaped at him for a minute, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Keith tilted his head to the side as he took a few steps toward Lance.

“The stars. Space. And stuff,” he added lamely.

Lance nodded his head slightly and straightened up, “Yeah.”

Lance kept watch of Keith as he started making his way to the other side of the room where Lance sat.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Um, nothing?”

Keith scoffed and crossed his arms, “You're sitting in the Observatory, gazing at the infinite depths of the universe, tracing lines on the glass and thinking of… nothing?”

Lance slowly started blushing again, “Well, no, um. I guess I just needed a minute. You know, to, uh-”

“Yeah,” Keith nodded, “I get it.”

Lance nodded too but looked back out at the long stretches of darkness around them. Keith shifted his weight, uncertain of what to say but sure that he wanted to keep the conversation going.

He opened his mouth again but Lance spoke first.

“It's just, really far away, you know?”

Keith wrinkled his eyebrows, “What is?”

“Earth.”

Oh. Duh.

“Yeah,” Keith replied awkwardly. Yeah, he was really not good at this.

“I almost didn't miss it as much when we were on that planet, or whatever.”

“But it was nothing like earth. And I thought you had been homesick and that's why…”

Lance was still looking out the window as he sighed then replied, “It still had grass. And dirt. Plants and water and a sky. Here is just-”

“Void?”

“Yeah.”

Keith thought a minute as Lance stared blankly out the window. A moment passed as Keith watched Lance gaze longingly out at space, wallowing.

“Come on.”

“What?” Lance looked over at him bemused.

“Come on. I wanna show you something,” Keith said.

Lance considered him before standing up and looking at him expectantly.

“Alright.”

Keith and Lance walked down the hallway, Keith slightly ahead leading the way. 

“Where are we going?” Lance asked, his shoulder bumped against Keith as he tried to match his stride.

“Stop asking. You'll see when we get there.”

Keith navigated the twists and turns of the castle halls until he stopped abruptly at a closed door labeled with Altean symbols slightly resembling trees. 

Keith glanced over at Lance before stepping forward and triggering the automatic door.  
Lance's jaw immediately dropped and Keith could not help smiling at the sight. 

Tentatively Lance stepped in and Keith trailed after. 

“Keith-”

“I know.”

After a while, even the vastness of the castle got someone feeling claustrophobic, but this room seemed to go on and stretch up indefinitely. From the ceiling hung vines and long branches of greenery, dangling like drapery in a tent. The light fixtures were hidden amongst them, illuminating light that mimicked that of sunlight rather than the artificial light throughout the castle. 

The rows and rows of tables that stretched endlessly down the room were covered in various species of green plants, but the further down Keith followed Lance, the gradient tumbled through shades of yellow to orange and suddenly they were surrounded by explosions of red flower buds. Petals carpeted the floor like velvet.

Lance walked entranced, spinning in slow circles as he attempted to look everywhere and take it all in. He slowed at a particularly large and elegant flower.

The colors were beginning to shift from red to purple, a little down the row tall blue flowers towered high, entangling with the vines that still swung above them. 

Keith had kept his distance as Lance moved down the rows, smiling as Lance's eyes focused and refocused on every species. He curiously approached to look at what had caused Lance to stop his mesmerized meandering.

Keith planted himself behind Lance, casually raising his heels to look over his shoulder at the flower. Lance noticed and stepped slightly aside to let Keith look, never tearing his eyes from the plant. Keith immediately saw the appeal. 

The pot which it sat in was carefully crafted. It was wide but shallow. The stone was thin and grey with an earthy pattern carved in subtle curves. The soil inside was coarse, almost like gravel and only the one stem poked through the rocks.

The stem reached up and blossomed passionately into an explosion of color. The bloom was broad and dipped low in sweeping curves, contrasting dramatically with the delicacy of the petals. But the most intriguing aspect of the flower was not the contrast of grandness and fragility, but the pigmentation.

The center was a deep red sprinkled with black dust which Keith assumed to be pollen but appeared like freckles across a dark cheekbone. From there, a violet purple extended across the immense petals and danced along their surfaces. But from the middle and accumulating at the tips, was a brilliant and luminous blue. The blue sprouted from the purple subtly like veins but then protruded and dripped down to the tip and rested expectantly like a water drop. 

Keith had no way of describing the liveliness of the blue pigmentation. It must have had some sort of chemical composition that absorbed light and reflected it back like fractured glass. But still, it glowed not shined, like one of those deep sea jellyfish Keith had seen in a documentary.

He was so captivated by the flower he almost missed the hand that slowly reached out and touched it. The dark fingers grazed the petals and drifted along the lines and spaces of color. It carefully cupped below the petals and tilted them up.

Lance leaned closer and Keith's attention was immediately on the face above the flower which was softly illuminated blue by the gentle glow of the petals. Keith's eyes tumbled from sharp cheekbones down the abrupt curve of the nose and rested on the mouth. Teeth chewed in concentration on the bottom lip, gently pulling it in and out. 

Suddenly the face turned to him and the mouth smiled softly. Keith met the eyes and they were deep and Keith was falling and-

“Beautiful, isn't it?”

Keith blinked slowly. Then, in a rush, he remembered the flower and the room and that the face in front of him he had been studying belonged to Lance.

“Uh,” he said intelligently. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck and burning his ears.

“The Petals. Colors. And stuff,” Lance smirked, mirroring the way Keith had spoken earlier.

“Right. Yeah,” Keith said, still trying to shake his mind back into focus, “It's- It's- yeah, woah.”

Lance was looking right in Keith's eyes and released the petals and moved his hand to Keith's face. Keith gasped and in the quiet of the room, there was no way he could hope Lance did not hear. He searched Lance's eyes as careful fingertips drifted across Keith's cheekbones. He swallowed and Lance smirked as he picked something off Keith's face. 

“Make a wish,” Lance whispered, holding a small green petal that had fallen onto Keith at some point in time in their wanderings. 

Keith blinked a few times and looked questioningly between Lance and the leaf.

Tentatively he leaned forward and blew it off Lance's finger tip.

“What'd you wish for?”

Keith opened his mouth.

“No! You're not supposed to say it! That's wishing 101!” 

Keith stiffened slightly defensive, but mostly playful, “Then why did you ask?”

“You always ask!”

Keith rolled his eyes and looked back over at the flower. Lance followed his gaze.

“It's really beautiful,” Keith said.

“You know what's even more beautiful?”

Keith’s eyebrows drew together, “What?”

“You.”

Keith groaned immediately, but he could not ignore the fluttering in his stomach, “Shut up, Lance.”

Lance chuckled, “Wait, wait. I can do better.”

He cleared his voice and changed his posture to lean seductively across the counter.

“Are you Ivy? Because you sure look vine.”

Keith snorted and looked away, but a small smile started to spread over his lips despite.

“You must be a rosebush because you've got me feelin' thorny.”

The smile widened and Keith shook his head, still not looking back at Lance.

“No, wait. You've got the sweetest smile, I'd love to kiss those tulips.”

Keith's eyebrows pulled together and he looked back at Lance, “Wait, I don't get that one.”

“Tulips. Like the flower.”

“Oh, okay. Wow.”

“You try.”

Keith's smile dropped, “What?”

“Come on,” Lance wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, “Talk dirty to me.”

Lance picked up some soil out of a nearby pot and sprinkled it on their feet.

Keith shook his head, “I'm not-”

“Please, Keith. Just one. For me?”

“Fine, uh,” Keith looked desperately around the room before his face clicked and a small smile creeped over his face.

Lance already started smiling back in anticipation.

“Do you photosynthesizing? ‘Cause I don't wanna leaf you alone.”

Lance burst into a laugh, briefly startling Keith before the smile crept back on his face and he began to redden.

“That was so bad! Holy crow, and the way you said it too, like you were so bored!” 

Keith's blush intensified, “Like yours were any better!”

“But I can pull it off. That was just… wrong.”

“Whatever,” Keith crossed his arms and looked away.

“Aww, Keith. Don't be mad. It was cute.”

Keith was pretty sure his face was literally on fire by now and Lance did not seem to be taking any mercy on him.

“We can't all have my incredible charm and charisma.”

Keith scoffed at that.

Lance continued to smile as he turned away and slowly kept walking down the aisle. After a second Keith started following behind again. The flowers shifted from purple to blue and they found themselves nearing the end of the wall. They rounded the corner and started walking back toward the door. Lance paused once they came toward the flower again. They both stopped to take one last look before continuing.

“This place is really amazing. Seriously, thanks for showing me this, Keith.”

“Of course.”

They kept walking. Lance bumped Keith shoulder as they slowly strolled through the purples to reds. Something caught Lance's eye on another table top so he placed a polite hand on the small of Keith's back as he crossed to look at it. Keith froze immediately and his stomach clenched at the contact. 

Everytime Lance touched him he started to heat up and this time was no exception. Keith tried to fight the red that inevitably was making its way to his face.

Lance obviously noticed. Keith stepped over to the counter as well, trying to avoid eye contact and pretending to be unaware of his own reaction, but Lance did not play along. Keith could feel Lance watching him as he looked at red buds climbing up a thick green stem adorned with thistles.

He stole a look at Lance and quickly regretted it when he saw Lance still pondering him like he was trying to solve a rather complex puzzle. He seemed to figure it out and turned back toward the counter. Keith exhaled as Lance's gaze left him. 

Lance was looking at the small cactus looking plant that grew beside the plant Keith had been pretending to study.

“This one reminded me of you, Keith.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause it’s red, like your lion, and it's all pointy and sharp like it’s dangerous, but it's so small.”

“Hey! You're only like two inches taller than me!”

“Doesn't mean that you're not short. Anyway, what I meant was it looks so threatening but you know it's just a poor little cactus trying to live it's life. It doesn't mean to look all moody and distant.”

“Rude,” Keith said.

Lance laughed and shrugged. As he moved back past Keith, though, he put his hand on his shoulder, keeping it there even when he was back on the other side.

Keith stiffened again, but did not shake off the hand. 

Slowly, he started to relax into it. Keith could have sworn he saw a smile ghost across Lance's face before he settled his arm across Keith's shoulders and dragged them along. His ears burned but he tried to ignore them. 

Friends touched each other like this all the time. He remembered placing a hand comfortingly on Shiro’s shoulder back in the desert, but Keith knew this was different. It wasn't a comforting pat. There was no underlying meaning to it. It was just touching for touching’s sake. 

This was all so foreign to Keith. He saw the way Lance leaned against Hunk when they talked. Or how he would rest an elbow on Pidge’s shoulder as she explained something. 

This casual touching was not a barrier usually broken with Keith. Everyone was usually at a safe distance when they talked or walked. When Hunk had hugged him and Lance that was a surprise, but there was still a rhyme and reason. The mood of the room was euphoric and everyone was caught up in the moment, even Keith. But this was different and Keith could not decide if he liked it or not. 

Lance had apparently decided for him as he leaned more heavily onto Keith, causing their walking rhythm to stumble and sway. 

They were almost to the door when Lance chuckled and pointed over at a moss growing on the thin tree trunk to their right.

“You must be tree bark, because I'm lichen you.”

Keith snorted and shoved Lance off, hands lingering on his side. He found himself oddly missing the warmth on his shoulders.

“That was horrible.”

“But it worked. You know it did, Keith. Don't deny it.”

Keith smiled, “Fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you commenters are fueling me, ilysm!


	13. Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mind melds are intense and I love floor cuddling

Lance was touching him more and more after the greenhouse. Not anything too crazy, just pats on the shoulder or a careful hand on the elbow in passing, but it was enough to get Keith to redden every time. 

He started feeling guilty for the way it made him react when Lance was clearly just trying to be friendly. He hated it every time the feeling of something more bubbled in him when Lance looked at him. If this were a crush, he needed to squash it quick. If he let it get too far, he did not know how he could possibly keep it from the others during mind melding exercises.

The kind like what they were doing right then. This time, though, they were hooked up not only to each other, but also to their lions. The objective was to 'think in unison’ which was not vague at all.

He had just cleared his mind and focused entirely on Red, trying to bring them together enough to join the others, when he felt an itch. It was somewhere in the back of his brain and felt like the mild onset of a headache. He opened his eyes and looked around the room only to find each paladin focusing intently on their own lions.

Then he felt it again but this time it had a vague source origin. His head shot in the direction he suspected it came from and his eyes found Lance. Lance flinched a bit and then peeked over at Keith eyes shooting open when he found Keith looking. There was a hint of red on Lance's cheeks.

The itch turned into a full on throb and they both flinched and touched their head in the same spot. Keith trained his eyes back to Red.

He started to freak out. Was he projecting his thoughts on Lance? This was all getting too much. Everyone seemed so much closer in their tight circle. How long had they been seated so near? He tried but could not get himself to breathe right. He had to get away from this. Everyone was getting too intense, too near him. He felt vulnerable. 

He tried to retreat into his own mind, breaking the connection with all the other paladins and they looked at him startled. He noticed he was still connected with Red, but his mental projection on the floor flickered. His eyes shot back to his lion. He felt an odd displacement in their communication and then Red was gone and Keith was alone in his mind again.

He was left staring at the lion, completely aware that all the other paladins had just seen the interaction as well. 

He huffed and threw off the equipment and stood up. He heard them call after him as he left the hangar but did not look back. He hated the embarrassment and did not want to be patronized.

“Keith,” he heard Shiro yell as he ran down the hall after him.

“What?” Keith hissed.

Shiro held his hands up in a surrender as he slowed to a walk toward Keith.

“I just want to make sure you're okay.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “Why is everyone so interested in my well-being all of a sudden?”

“Because we're a team. And we care about you.”

Keith sighed and looked away.

“Look, I don't know what's going on with you or what all that was, but you should know that we all have your back if you want to talk.”

Keith crossed his arms, but said, “Red just kicked me out.”

Shiro considered him a second before placing a hand on Keith's shoulder, “I'm sure you two will work it out in time. Why don't you take today off and just think? We still have time before we get to the Balmera.”

Keith nodded and shrugged out of Shiro's grasp. He tried on a reassuring smile but he was sure he was not fooling anyone.

 

The observatory room was cold. Well, so was space so Keith guessed it was fitting. The day had moved on from his earlier outburst and everyone started being overbearingly friendly toward him. He had just escaped from Pidge and Hunk's incessant demands that he play another of their made up word games that usually involved an excessive amount of pop culture references and, consequently, an excessive amount of Keith losing miserably. He somehow talked his way out of the room and went in search for a quiet place to read. 

He had always felt drawn to the Observatory. He knew that looking out at the vastness of space should inspire deep thought and pensivity, but for Keith it had the opposite effect. When he went in there, all the thoughts that usually swarmed around him fluttered away, leaving his mind in a pleasant quiet.

He turned off the lights, walked carefully to the middle of the room and sat down. He crossed his legs and pulled out the tablet-like device Pidge had rigged up for him and stored with books and strategy games. 

He was swiping through the pages in one of the Altean piloting books when he felt the air shift around him. Suddenly, a warm breath by his ear made him jump in surprise. 

“What’cha reading, Keith?” said Lance's voice from behind him.

Keith's mouth hung open in shock as he felt Lance shift closer. He was crouching behind him, chin hovering over Keith's shoulder.

“Um-” Keith started, but then felt two warm hands grasp his sides and he let out a small gasp that he prayed Lance did not hear. 

Two long legs stretched out on either side of him and Keith felt his face heating up. Lance rested his chin on Keith's shoulder and Keith looked down with sudden intense concentration at his tablet.

“Just some Altean piloting books,” Keith said, surprisingly even.

“Mm,” Lance hummed in acknowledgement, the sound making Keith's stomach do a small flip, “The great Keith, master pilot, doesn't know everything there is to know about flying?”

“There's more to flying than just doing it! You've got to know maneuvers and procedures and the Alteans had a surprisingly more advanced grasp on-”

“Hmm,” Lance hummed, the deep sound breaking him off mid-sentence and inspiring another hum through Keith's body that he tried to push down, “You don't just, do it?”

“What?”

“You don't just fly? Like you have to think about it?”

“Well, most of the time, yeah, I'm at least trying to think about what I'm doing? You don't? Wow, that explains so much about your piloting.”

Lance took off one of his hands from Keith's side and smacked him on the shoulder playfully.

“Ow,” Keith half-laughed, half-flinched.

Lance moved his hand back to Keith's side, but this time wrapped his arms carefully around his stomach. Keith's chest tightened but he did not pull away as Lance set his chin back on his shoulder.

“I just mean, piloting, I guess for me, is feeling it, you know? Like getting in there and just doing what feels right? Like walking or breathing, I don't have to think about what step I take next.”

Keith could understand this, especially when piloting red.

“Aren't you supposed to be the instinctual one?” Lance huffed, his breath tickling the side of Keith's neck.

“I guess, I don't know. Most of the time I'm at least trying to plan what I'm doing to take some control of the situation.”

Lance tightened his hold on Keith, “Maybe that's what your problem is, with Red, I mean. You're thinking too much. You're supposed to be the act-first-think-later paladin and not letting yourself recognize your instincts all the time could be what's messing you up and throwing off your game with Red.”

“How do you know my connection with Red is off?”

Lance smirked, “You know me. I'm the lion whisperer. I can tell when something's off with them.”

“Shiro told you, didn't he?”

“Yeah, Shiro told me. But I'd be able to read it anyway. You still act like you're trying not to be a part of the team. It's really gonna throw us off one day.”

Keith started to pull away, “Lance, what'd you come here for?”

“I'm just saying... for the sake of the team, you should- I don't know, try to let us in, I guess.”

Keith's back tensed. He was not used to confrontation on these kinds of feelings.

“Lance-”

Lance was already pulling his arms away. The absence of the warmth left Keith's stomach and back achingly cold.

“Sorry, I'm overstepping again, just- It'd be nice, Keith, if you'd let someone other than Shiro talk to you.”

There was a hint of accusation in Lance's voice that hit Keith like a tidal wave. With that, he turned and left, hand awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

Absently, Keith touched his shoulder where Lance had set his chin. He found he could no longer focus on the piloting strategies as he stared back at the stretches of space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly whenever I sit on the floor I think about someone sitting behind and how nice that would be so here I am


	14. Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just my space nerds having fun again and Keith trying to let himself go a bit.

The day after Keith's frustration with Red, they focused mainly in combat skills. 

After training, Shiro broke off from the group to consult with Allura and Coran about their progress on getting to the Balmera, leaving the other paladins on the couches.

“Hey, so Pidge and I got one of the goop dispensers to give out a more controlled portion,” Hunk started, “And I was playing around with the settings, right? You know, just to see what would happen and I got it to harden into this Jell-O texture. I mean, I'm no artist but I think I made an okay bear mold-”

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” Asked Lance.

Keith had no idea what he was saying.

“Yeah,” Hunk said, “I've got these goop gummy bears if you guys want to go try some.”

“You are my Lord and Savior, Hunk” Lance proclaimed, “Take me to them.”

Keith watched skeptically as Pidge and Lance followed Hunk toward the kitchen. Lance threw a look back at Keith, but he was busy fumbling with his gloves.

“Nope,” he said, going back and grabbing Keith by the hands, “You're coming. Bonding moments aren't always in training or emotional turmoil, Mr. Angst.”

Keith rolled his eyes but let Lance pull him up, earning a huge smile from Lance. ‘Let someone other than Shiro talk to you’, Lance had said. He breathed a slow breath. The least he could do was try. 

They got to the kitchen where they found a half empty bowl of oversized gummy bears.

“Yeah,” Hunk said rubbing his neck, “It was either big and detailed or just little goop balls so I went with this.”

“They are perfect, Hunk,” Lance said, pulling the bowl in his arms, “And look there's even a Blue one. Aw, all of our colors are in here, that's so considerate, bro. Here Keith, think fast.”

Keith caught the red gummy bear in one hand. He opened his palm to look more closely at it. It was actually pretty nice looking even though it was about half the size of his palm.

Lance tossed out their respective colors to each of them. Keith waited for the others to try it first and gauge their reaction before considering his bear. Tentatively, he took a bite from its leg, nodding in approval. It did not taste half bad.

Then he looked up to see all three of the others staring at him in horror.

“What?” Keith asked, suddenly nervous, “What? Was I not supposed to eat mine? Did Lance do something to it?”

“You,” Pidge started slowly, then yelled, “You barbarian!”

Keith blinked, “What?”

“Brutal,” Hunk said.

“How could you be so cruel?” Lance asked.

“What are you all talking about?”

“Are you a sociopath?”

“Do you enjoy the pain of others?”

Keith shook his head, bewildered, “I'm lost guys, catch me up.”

“You,” Lance said, “You ate his leg.”

Keith blinked at him, “Wait, are you guys talking about the gummy bear?”

“Of course we're talking about the gummy bear. The one you're torturing, you sadist!” Pidge spat.

“It doesn't have feelings you know, unless Hunk put some Altaen life magic in here. And what was I supposed to do? Eat the whole thing in one bite?”

“You bite the head off,” Lance said, “Haven't you ever eaten a gummy bear before?”

“Wouldn't biting its head off be even more violent?”

“It's humane that way. You're not keeping it alive just to watch it suffer.”

Keith nodded, “But it is still just a gummy bear, right? It's not really alive.”

Keith eyed the mold suspiciously. He did not know what Hunk was capable of when it came to food.

“What? No, of course it's not alive!” Lance said, “But still, it's the principal of it all.”

Keith looked back at his bear, slowly raising it up and ripping its head off with his teeth.

“Happy?”

Pidge shook her head, “Damage was done.”

Lance leaned into the counter and rested his cheek on his hand and considered Keith.

“I think if Keith were a Disney Princess, he would be Rapunzel.”

Hunk looked at him confused, “Why? Because of the hair?”

Lance looked offended, “No! You think I would pick this kind of thing so superficially?”

Nobody responded.

“Ouch, your lack of faith disturbs me,” Lance said, then continued, “Anyway, no. First, he spent all that time alone in the desert, i.e. the tower. Two, once he left, everyone realized he knew like nothing about societal conventions.”

Pidge pulled her glare away from Keith and squinted at Lance, “Fair points, but we're only keeping his assignment as Rapunzel because of the hair.”

“Deal,” Lance smiled.

Keith squinted at them, “Do I get any say in this?”

“Do you know anything about Disney Princesses?”

“Uh…”

“Exactly, so no. You don't,” Lance said.

Pidge smiled, “Who would Lance be?”

“Jasmine,” Hunk replied immediately.

Lance turned to him, “That was quick. What's your reasoning?”

“Has expensive taste. Sassy. But still tries to be nice and down to earth.”

Pidge nodded, “Sounds right.”

“What about Pidge?” Keith asked.

Pidge shot him a look.

“Merida,” Hunk and Lance replied together.

“What makes you so sure?” she said skeptically.

“Stubborn.”

“Hot-headed.”

“Ace.”

“The hair.”

Pidge huffed, “My hair is nothing like that!”

“No, but it is messy and red so it still counts,” Lance shrugged.

“So that leaves Hunk,” Pidge said, “What do you think, Lance?”

“Tatiana,” Lance shrugged, “Because of the cooking. That's really it.”

Pidge thought for a moment, but then accepted it. 

Keith broke in, “What about Disney Princes? Is that a thing?”

“Alas, the Princes have next to no personality,” Lance said forlorn.

“Um, excuse you?” Pidge said, “Are you forgetting Beauty and the Beast? The Beast is literally half of the title and most of the plot!”

“And what about Flynn Ryder? You going to tell me your Disney equivalent has no personality?” chimed in Hunk.

“Kristoff.”

“Aladdin.”

“The frog.”

“Okay, fine!” Lance yelled, “I stand corrected.”

The conversation drifted to gender roles in Disney movies to other topics and Keith tried his best to follow along. It was nice just being in the room with all of them, even if he did not know what they were talking about half the time. 

Eventually, they made their way from the kitchen to the sitting area, each taking their usual spots. This meant Pidge sat crisscrossed on the ground near Hunk in the big chair and Keith and Lance on opposite sides of the couch.

This time, though, Lance swung his legs up on the couch and into Keith's lap. He did not know what the do with his hands then, so he rested them awkwardly on Lance's shins.

Their topics drifted somehow from pop culture to conspiracy theories and Keith quickly jumped in. He had always been into conspiracy theories, even before the accident. It was one of the only things Keith was really passionate about other than flying. 

Pidge latched onto his theories immediately, sending them tumbling down deeper into the rabbit hole. They egged each other on with every idea.

He barely noticed Hunk and Lance share a concerned glance as Pidge brought up her latest ideas about the Mandela effect. 

At one point when he was talking, he had picked up his hands and was moving them energetically around him. He turned to Lance to try to get him to agree when he noticed Lance smiling at him. It was so wide and genuine it nearly caught him off guard. He smiled back before he turned back to Pidge insisting, “Right?”

Hunk bailed somewhere between Keith insisting Aliens were behind the pyramids and Pidge recounting a sighting of the abominable snowman in Finland. Lance yawned and shifted his legs to fall more comfortably on Keith's lap and laid his head flat on the couch. 

Keith looked over when he heard a small snore from Lance. He was suddenly refocusing on the weight of Lance's legs on his and the steady breathing of his chest.

His attention was yanked away as Pidge screamed a yawn that jolted Lance awake. Pidge stood and stretched, giving the two a peace out as she left the room.

“Sleep tight. Don't let mothman bite.”

Keith snorted before looking back at Lance, who was now awkwardly sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. 

“What time is it?”

“Late,” Keith shrugged.

Lance stretched, his shirt lifting slightly over his stomach. Keith averted his eyes.

Some instinct told him to drop his hand on Lance's legs and rub them affectionately before pushing him off. He considered the idea, but then came Lance's voice encouraging him to not try to think about everything so hard. So he did it and earned a nice sleepy smile from Lance as he removed himself from the couch.

“Night, Lance,” he said, as he made his way back to his room.

 

That night he could not get to sleep. His mind was racing through every conversation of the night. For once, it was not a bad feeling. 

After a few hours of sitting awake, Keith decided to try something. He headed to the lion hangar, setting up the mind meld that still sat in there from the day before. He tuned in and tried to reopen the connection with Red.

It took a second, but Red was back and he reveled in the feeling of a shared mind with his lion, letting his memories and feelings of the night flow around them. The hangar danced with dazzling projections of emotion.


	15. Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dancing and Sparring really aren't that different, right?

The gladiator dipped to Keith's left, swinging its sword at his legs. Keith blocked it with his bayard before maneuvering his body, hitting the gladiator's sword away and striking.

He took the break to end the training sequence and made his way to the bench, wiping a towel over his face when he noticed the figure in the corner. He tensed and jumped into ready position before realizing who it was.

“Oh. Hey, Lance,” he said.

Lance blinked at him a bit before clearing his throat and walking in the training room.

After the group had stayed up late the night before and they still had a few more days until they were landing on the Balmera, it had been an oddly easy morning. Apparently someone had persuaded Allura they really did need a little rest to rejuvenate. 

Of course Keith did not do much resting and had chosen to train on his own while they others slept through breakfast. 

“Hey,” Lance said, “Figured I'd find you here. You train so often I'm surprised you aren't better at hand to hand.”

Keith raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.

“I could help you out, if you want.”

“What?” Keith laughed a bit. 

Lance shifted, “Do you want to spar with me?”

Keith’s stopped wiping the towel on his hands. Quickly, he imagined the situation. He knew Lance would be close and sweating and he did not really trust himself high on adrenaline. It was not like it was really that intimate, he told himself. He had done it with Shiro hundreds of times. But still, given Keith was pretty sure he was starting to develop a crush, this would not be a good idea.

He was definitely hesitant, but he knew if he rejected the offer it would break whatever relationship they had been building. Lance's words from the Observatory came back to him. He put his water bottle down and stood in ready position, quirking his head in challenge. This was him opening up to someone other than Shiro.

Lance smirked and approached before sloppily falling into his own stance.

Keith straightened, “Wait, not like that.”

Lance looked confused, “What do you mean?”

“That stance is weak. Look at your footing and your hands.”

Lance readjusted, still not completely right.

“Better, I guess,” Keith wrinkled his nose, “Here.”

He made his way over to Lance and bit his lip.

“Scoot this foot back a bit, that way you can use your right leg better when you're moving out of the way.”

Lance shifted his feet, “Better?”

“Yeah, now just pull your elbow in a bit.”

He pulled his elbows in to touch just above his hips, “Are you sure? This doesn't feel right.”

“That’s 'cause it's not,” Keith said, “Lift them up like you had it, just, make sure you're protecting your face.”

Lance frowned and lifted his arms up to far, blocking his face.

Keith sighed and stepped behind Lance. He grabbed Lance's elbow lightly and pulled it into a good place. He shifted closer so that their bodies brushed as he put both hands on Lance's wrists.

“See, just tilt it at the right angle,” he said and heard Lance swallow, “Then just,” Keith dropped his hands to Lance's hips, pulling them back slightly into him, “Try and stand like you're about ready to take off.”

Lance was frozen under Keith's touch. They both were stuck in the moment until Keith dropped his hand and stepped back, making his way to face Lance again like he had before.

Keith examined his stance, “Much better.”

He met Lance's eyes in a reassuring smile when he noticed the unmistakable flush of his face. He did not think the room had been that hot.

Keith looked away. They had not even starting their match and he was already starting to feel riled up. This was so not a good idea.

Keith tried to clear his throat again but it was suddenly dry. He decided to break the stalemate and take the first swing.

Lance jolted in surprise but blocked it nonetheless, taking the opportunity to swing at Keith's stomach. It was a predictable move, but Keith only barely stepped out of the way, using Lance's momentum against him and pushing him forward. Lance stumbled and Keith bounced back in position.

Lance turned around and landed back in a rushed imitation of his starting position. His eyes darted around Keith's stance, trailing up his body. Keith avoided the sudden wave of self consciousness of his defenses.

Lance then lunged forward and Keith adjusted to block his apparent attack, only to be blindsided when Lance faked him out and switched approaches. Keith hesitated a bit too long to recompose and Lance got hold of Keith's right arm and pulled him back. Keith lost a bit of his footing and Lance took advantage of that, hooking one leg around Keith's causing him to lose balance completely. 

Next thing Keith knew he was tumbling to the ground. He had enough time to spin himself around and grabbed Lance's neck, attempting to pull him down with him and somehow have time to doing their positions around and pin him down.  
But Lance maintained control of his attack and Keith wound up pulling Lance on top of him, giving him complete access to pin him down. He struggled a bit to at least try and push Lance off but nothing worked. Soon enough, Lance had his wrists above his head and straddled his hips.

Keith's heart stopped. The face hanging above him was a mirror image of exactly what his brain conjured up as worst case scenario. Lance's face was sparkling in hints of sweat, but not too much since they had not been at it that long. His cheeks were flushed and chest panting. His eyes focused intently on Keith’s face. Lips were slightly parted. 

Their position was compromising, at least to Keith. The weight of Lance on his hips and the way Lance stretched above him to keep his hands in place was really unfair.

He blinked which was about all he could do.

Then a smile started tugging on Lance's lips and Keith was this close to leaning up. Lance's words rang in his ears and all he could think was instinct instinct instinct. He knew what he wanted to do, what his gut told him to do.

And he was about to do it when Lance pulled back slightly and said, “Hey remember that night when you blew up that siren box?”

Keith tensed, “Oh no, Lance please.”

“It would be so easy to-”

“No, don't do it. Please.”

Lance did it anyway. Hands attacked Keith at every open point, which was most all of them given Keith position on the floor.

He practically screamed out laughing, body contorting and trying desperately to escape. Lance's fingers were relentless and Keith was relentlessly ticklish. It was torture.

“P-please?” Keith begged through gasping for breath, “Mercy. I beg you, L-Lance!”

Lance chuckled but sat up, releasing Keith's wrists. He moaned and held his stomach as it was tight from laughing. Lance was still resting on his hips and Keith tried to sit up, which just put him dangerously close to Lance. Then an idea struck him.

He sat up, adjusting them so Keith was more or less sitting up and Lance sitting in his lap. Lance's smile wavered at their closeness and Keith used it to his advantage. Using one hand to keep him upright, Keith took the other one and placed in on Lance's thigh. Lance’s smile dropped and his eyes shot to the action. Keith held back a smirk as he dragged it up, watching Lance's eyes track its path. 

Then suddenly, Keith threw himself forward, catching Lance completely off guard. He pushed Lance to the floor like he had done to Keith a moment before. 

He leaned down in order to watch the blush spread on Lance's cheeks.

“Other than your stance, you also lack focus. Never let your guard down.”

Lance just stared up at him. Then it hit Keith. Lance was underneath him. As in Keith had Lance pinned beneath him. As in Keith was on top of Lance and he was below him, looking up at him. Lance was winded and sweaty and blushing. Shit.

Keith pushed up immediately, trying to urge the flush out of his neck. He stood and tried not to look down at the stunned Lance, who layed back against the floor, legs carelessly sprawled. 

He tried desperately to keep his thoughts within context, but that was really hard when Lance was staring at him with dilated pupils. 

“Uh,” Keith said, reaching to pull Lance up. After a moment, Lance accepted, never taking his eyes off Keith. Keith dropped his to the floor. 

He got back into ready position and Lance followed, more easily falling into a suitable stance. The sight made Keith smile a bit. 

“You're improving and your strategy is great,” Keith said, “You just need to work on your clumsy technique.”

Lance finally shook away his trance, a slow smile spread over his lips “Was that a compliment?”

Keith paused, then replied, “Yes, me calling your technique clumsy was definitely meant positively.”

“No,” Lance's smile grew, “Before that you definitely complimented me. You just sincerely said something nice about me.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “I've said plenty of nice things about you.”

Lance just raised his eyebrows, “Not to my face, you haven't.”

He knew Lance had not intended to, but there was a hint of pain beneath the statement. No one really seemed to encourage Lance much during training. Maybe it was because Lance always seemed to be complimenting himself for anyone to notice he was actually dying for acknowledgement. 

Lance tended to cover up his insecurities with humor and push them aside. Keith noticed how his humor dipped into self deprecation after even the slightest failure. His heart broke a little at the thought of Lance really just wanting someone to tell him he was not that bad. Keith made a mental note to compliment Lance more often.

“Fine, I don't. And it was. Now fix your footing and see if you can take me down and keep me down this time.” 

 

It was late that night. Keith had left Lance in the training room and went back to his to shower. 

For the first time in years he had felt relaxed enough to take off his shoes and jacket and put on a pair of sleeping clothes they had stored for the red paladin. He still left his gloves on, but other than that, it was the first time Keith had been out of daily clothes since he had arrived.

Keith was worn out and sure he would get right to sleep, but once he hit the mattress his eyes shot open. 

He tossed and turned, sure that if he tried hard enough, he could get himself to sleep. But his thoughts stampeded through his consciousness, demanding his attention. 

His stomach clenched as he thought about sparring with Lance. He could feel the ghost of Lance's hands on him, holding him down. He could see Lance's body pinned beneath him. Hear Lance's voice rough, panting Keith's name. Taste the sweat on his skin. He could not help his mind shifting it all to a much different context. 

Usually he would try to push it down and not dwell on it. This was Lance, after all. He really should not let himself think about him like that. But he was feeling oddly relaxed so, for some reason, he let his mind wander.

Initially, he imagine Lance and him in his bed. Hands running over skin. A mouth sucking on his neck. It was not much different than fantasies he had about guys at the garrison. Physical attraction was not a stranger to Keith.

But it soon comfortably drifted into lazier fantasies. He imagine Lance lacing their fingers together, laying together on the couch for board games, kissing slowly in the observatory. That was a much different intimacy than Keith was ready to allow himself to dream about, so he shook the thoughts away. 

He got up and made his way to the kitchen for a midnight snack to try to chase the thoughts away. His socked feet shuffled to a halt in the kitchen door frame as he heard the hum of someone's voice. He assumed it was Hunk, as Keith had frequently found him indulging in late night snacks before.

His eyes widened as he found Lance with earbuds in, dancing his way along the counter. He sang out lyrics to some Spanish song Keith did not recognize. 

Keith stood frozen in the doorway. He found it painfully ironic that the boy he had just got up to avoid thinking about was swaying his hips and singing loudly right in front of him. 

Keith had just decided to turn and leave when Lance noticed Keith watching him. He saw Lance's dark skin tint red, but being caught did not stop him. Instead of acting embarrassed like a normal human, he started to dance his way over to where Keith stood. He reached for Keith's hands, but he walked past him and snorted.

“Keith,” Lance whined before lowering his voice and challenged, “You scared I can out dance you?” 

“I definitely don't dance like that, if that's what you mean.” 

“What's that supposed to mean?” 

Keith pushed past the boy still swaying his hips to the fridge. Lance resumed singing somewhere behind him and Keith’s body unconsciously swayed as he searched for something to eat. Lance noticed before Keith did and let out a loud gasp. 

"Keith!" 

Keith jumped and flushed. 

“You we're-”

“No, I was not-”

“Oh my god. You were!” 

Lance pulled his iPod out and started over the song. He took Keith's hands, pulling him away from the counter without waiting for him to object. 

Warningly, Keith said, "Lance-"

But Lance had already started singing again and side stepping into Keith with the song he was humming. Keith pulled his hands away to bury his face in. 

“Lance, please." 

“Come on, Keith.” 

Lance pulled his hands down and put them on his shoulders. He then put his hands on Keith's hips. He awkwardly relaxed, looking anywhere but Lance's face.

Then the pace quickening and Keith tightened his hold on Lance, trying to not seem like he was holding on for dear life.

Lance accidentally rubbed his rough hands on Keith's bare skin where his pajama shirt was riding up. His heart jumped and he found himself trying a little harder to keep step with Lance. 

Lance broke into a huge smile and said, “Yes, Keith!” 

They dipped back and forth as they stepped together. Keith was still struggling between doing what he thought he should and what Lance lead him to do. 

“Come on. It's just like sparing,” Lance said and then stepped closer and changed their footing a bit. 

Keith could no longer understand which foot was going to step or how they were going to move next, so he resigned and let Lance's hands pull him in whichever direction they were to move in.

The stepping became a lot easier, but would never admit to letting Lance lead.

Lance's humming seemed to be approaching a close, when Lance suddenly did some sort of step Keith had never seen, and grabbed his hand, and threw him away. 

Keith scrambled, “Lance!”

Lance just smirked and wrapped him back in, making him spin uncontrollably and fall straight into Lance’s chest. 

Lance fell messily back, his arms flailing. Lances bony elbows saved his upper body from slamming to the floor. Keith fell next right on top of him, causing Lance's arms to slip and give in anyway. 

Lance lay flat on his back, laughing. Keith pushed up from on top of Lance's chest. Lance's eyes were closed as he chuckled and Keith smiled along before joining in. This was the lightest he'd felt in a long time. Laughing with Lance, tangled together on the floor was flying and Keith never wanted to land.

Eventually, their laughing slowed and Lance opened his eyes to stare up at Keith. He saw the moment his breathless smile slipped into something more relaxed. Gravity had never had a stronger pull than in that moment. All he wanted to do was lean down. And Lance seemed to be waiting for something.

He hovered over Lance with his hands on either side of his head, not totally sure what to do now. In hindsight, he probably should have just gotten up, but his heart was pounding and his breathing heavy and Lance's breath and eyes and flushed cheeks were all so intoxicating.

Lance broke the loaded silence before Keith could do anything he would regret.

“Damn Keith, seems like we found something I'm better at than you.” 

“Ugh,” Keith smiled, shaking away the entrancement as he pulled away, “Fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had as much fun as I did


	16. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Board games, beds, and glove symbolism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is long as heck but I'm actually pretty proud of it. And hey, there's finally the bed sharing I tagged about.

Keith was walking back to his room from the training deck when he decided to take the long way. He felt oddly adventurous that day. He could not focus during training. Lance even got him pinned down during one of their sparring matches and Keith did not even try to get up, just let Lance hold both his hands over his head and straddle his waist. He could not tear his eyes away from Lance's face, dripping in sweat, beaming down at him.

The whole session had been like that. Everytime Lance touched him, he lost focus. Every move he made toward him sent his mind back to how Lance's hands felt on him the night before while they danced. His fantasy mixed intensely with the reality of both how Lance held him in the kitchen and how he casually touched him between matches. He could not help but think about how every glimpse of Lance was suddenly sending him reeling. When he was alone, he was starting to crave the intimacy he felt every time they were anywhere near each other. He almost could not stand it.

He turned down a few hallways he had not been down yet when he saw an open door and light on. Curiously, he stepped inside.

He raised an impressed eyebrow as he gazed around. Bookshelves were mounted on the walls and towered to the ceiling. No shelves were empty, each was crammed with books titled in a language Keith could not understand.

“Oh, Keith. When did you get there?” said an accented voice.

“Um,” he said intelligently, “just- just now. This is incredible.”

“Thank you,” Allura said, “It was my father's. It's a collection of nearly every book written from Altea. I come here sometimes. It makes me feel closer to them somehow.”

A sad smile spread across her face. Keith cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Oh,” he said, then he motioned toward the book in Allura’s hands, stepping forward to get a better look, not that he could read it anyway.

“What are you reading?”

“Oh, this is actually Altean poetry. It's quite beautiful really. I don't think any translation I could give you would do it justice.”

“What's it about.”

“Well, it's about the two elements of destruction, Fire and Ice, and how when they meet, they create an equilibrium. They both live in a symbiotic state of existence where neither one is destroying, but prospering. How, by finding that balance to themselves, they could live out their purpose uninhibited by their own flaws. Where one, fire, burned bright, taking no heed of thought and consideration, the other cared deeply. Where ice froze in hesitance and fear, fire gave it confidence and power. Together they leveled out their existences and no longer destroyed everything they touched. It's- it's really quite beautiful. I could never really do it justice.”

Keith could not think to say anything. He just watched as Allura dropped her head back to the pages in her hands. 

“I actually knew a pair from back on Altea who practically embodied this poem. On the day of their what I believe the earth equivalent of is a wedding, they took turns reading verses of this to each other. I don't know what drew me to it today.”

She looked at Keith through knowing eyes as she said the last sentence, obviously hinting that she knew exactly what had her thinking of that poem. Keith considered her, but quickly ignored the ideas that popped into his head about her reasons.

Keith cleared his throat again and broke out of the deep thought he had been lost in. 

“That's really nice, this place is really amazing. I wish I could read it.”

“I wish that for you too, Keith.”

Keith did not know how to respond to that so he just nodded and looked away.

“Well, I'm just going to go check on Red and...”

“Of course,” she smiled, her eyes dropping back to the page.

Keith practically ran out of the library and down the hall. He did not know why he was suddenly feeling so embarrassed. His ears were burning as if she had just seen him naked or something.

He walked into the hangar and went to place a hand on Red's paw. They had started getting closer lately ever since the recovery from red kicking him out. He did not feel like he was communicating with a separate being anymore, more like they were learning to be one. 

They really weren't much different despite their physical states of being. Keith was starting to understand their relationship. How he both felt like Red was an extension of his soul and he was an extension of Red. What he still did not understand was the tugging he felt toward Blue.

He let himself wander over to Lance's lion. The feeling that rested in his stomach was still there weighing on him. The tugging was stronger than usual. Keith stared up at Blue pensively and reveled in the feeling.

“Keith?”

Keith jumped away as if he were a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

“Hey, Lance. What's going on?”

“What were you doing to Blue?”

“Nothing.”

“Then why were you staring-”

“I wasn't. I just thought I-”

“If I get in there and find you did something-”

“I didn't! I just thought I saw something on her but I think it was just the light.”

Keith rubbed his neck nervously and Lance looked at him skeptically. 

“O- kay…” Lance drew, “Well, Hunk, Pidge and I were thinking of playing a board game or something and I thought you'd maybe want to-” now it was Lance's turn to look embarrassed, “So I thought I'd find you here and ask you but it's okay, I guess you're busy or-”

Lance turned to leave, shaking his head to himself as he left.

“Wait,” Keith found himself saying, “What are you guys gonna play?”

And Lance turned back around at him smiling.

 

“So, how did you guys find these again?” Keith asked as he drew his next card.

“Well, Hunk and I were looking in one of the storage rooms we found for a converter cable for a device I found to make a modification to one of the pods-” 

“When I opened this cabinet and was like ‘Woah, Pidge’ and then she was like ‘What, Hunk? It better not be another Altean spider because if you throw another of those at me I swear-’ but then I was like ‘no, look’ and so now here we are.”

“Okay, but… are you sure we’re playing this right?”

“No,” Hunk and Pidge replied in unison.

“Let's try this one,” Lance said, motioning to a large box with a picture of a rabbit crouched next to a small child holding a disembodied head.

“Perfect,” said Pidge, as she knocked over the current game board pieces and crammed the cards back into their container.

“Wait, I was just about to win,” Hunk said, “I think…”

Pidge started to look over the instructions, or better yet, the pictures that went along with them since none of them could even begin to understand written Altean yet.

“I think this one is a team game,” she said.

“I call Pidge!” Hunk yelled, grabbing her wrist and yanking it up. The instructions fell from her hands to the floor.

“What? I want Pidge!” Lance pouted.

“I called her first!”

“What even are the rules to this game?” Keith asked.

Lance picked up the instructions from the ground and squinted at them dramatically.

“Well, for starters, it looks like we have to take that crystal ball thingy to decide who goes first, then whoever the losers are have to cry in the corner wearing that cap of shame.”

“Give me that,” Keith ripped the paper from his hands.

“Well, I guess that could be right…” Keith relented uncertainly.

Hunk lunged for the ball, but Lance dove onto it and wrapped his body around it.

“I got the ball! Now you guys have to wear the cone of shame! Now what do the directions say Keith?”

“Um,” he started, “It looks like now we get to take that castle piece and put it anywhere on the board we want and throw any one of the other pieces at them, so I guess that means we choose their player?”

“Ha! You may have gotten Pidge, but I'll destroy you with the castle player.”

“I think we should give them that dirty pig-looking piece,” said Keith.

“Hmm, that's a good one,” conspired Lance, “but what about the dead ferret thing?”

Keith picked up the piece with the limp ferret and chucked it over to the corner where Hunk and Pidge stood arms crossed. 

“Watch yourself, Keith,” Pidge said warningly.

“Or what,” Keith challenged.

He saw Lance cross his arms and smirk along.

“Give me the instructions, Keith.”

“Make me.”

With that, Pidge practically leaped across the room and onto Keith, sending him crashing to the ground. Lance grabbed the paper before Pidge could get it, only to have Hunk rip it from his hands. He started to “read”.

“Now it's our turn,” Hunk said, “Draw one of those cards and it should give instructions for what to do based off our characters.”

He flipped through the book to the last page.

“It looks like the first team to either collect all of those marble-things or take away all of their opponents blanket-things wins.”

Lance immediately dove into the pile of purple blankets.

“We call these ones!” Lance shouted. The other blankets were an ugly brown color. Keith had just shaken Pidge off and jumped away.

“You guys may have gotten to pick your character, but we draw first. Prepare to be murdered,” Pidge said.

One hour later and Lance was losing hard at arm wrestling to Pidge as Keith alternated between yelling encouragement at Lance and profanity at Pidge.

Two hours later Lance and Keith were standing on the couch wrapped in the purple blankets, jumping up and down yelling nonsense words at Hunk and Pidge while they tried to play the universe's most confusing game of charades. 

Three hours later, Keith and Lance were sitting cross-legged on the floor trying to figure out how to move the castle to both block Hunk and Pidge’s next turn and still move them forward. All the while Pidge smirked at their near complete pile of marbles.

Four hours later and Lance was wrapped in the two blankets they had left, head resting on Keith's lap while Keith stared, eyebrows furrowed, at Hunk and Pidge as they attempted to build an igloo out of the playing cards.

“No, Hunk, not there. Move it to the right a little.”

“If you're going to complain so much, why aren't you doing this.”

“I already told you. I have naturally shaky hands!”

“It's not my fault you couldn't hold the balance stick up longer than Keith and got us into this mess!”

“Are you guys almost done,” Lance moaned impatiently.

“If you can't get it done, you forfeit your last marble and it's game over. Wouldn't you rather just resign now and save yourself the shame when it falls?”

“Shut up, Keith!” Hunk and Pidge yelled together.

“You're just afraid that when we win and take another of your blankets, you won't be able to beat us at the next coordination challenge and lose your last blanket, leading to our inevitable overthrow of the throne,” challenged Pidge as Hunk placed another card onto the structure with steady hands.

“Lance and I own this castle just like we have owned every single one of those damn coordination challenges. Admit your defeat, Pidge.”

“Never,”

“Uh, Pidge.”

“What, Hunk. I'm protecting our honor.”

“No, Uh. I don't think this is going to hold up.”

“What? But we drew a diagram and planned this to the point. Are you following the blueprints?”

“Of course I'm following the blueprints, Pidge! Your calculations must be wrong!”

“What did you say to me?”

“Careful! Pidge, watch the table! Don't-”

Pidge’s elbow hit the table edge and the igloo started to shake. Keith held his breath as the first card trembled, sending a shiver all the way up to the top of the structure. Then all at once, the cards fell unceremoniously into a pile on the table. 

Hunk and Pidge stared at each other in shock as Keith started laughing in victory.

“Lance, did you see that?”

Lance stayed quiet, head still on Keith's lap, “Lance?”

Hunk and Pidge were now reviewing the blueprints, rummaging through the instructions, trying desperately to see if they could take back the building’s collapse. 

Keith leaned down to get a better look at Lance, who was uncharacteristically quiet after their inevitable victory. Keith saw Lance's eyes closed in deep sleep, mouth hanging open, drool slowly dripping onto Keith's lap. Keith suppressed an endeared smile.

He shook Lance's shoulder and said his name again.

“What, what?” he slurred sleepily, “Is the igloo done?”

“No, it fell. We won, Lance.”

His eyes grew, suddenly awake.

“Ha!” he shouted at Hunk, “In. Your. Face. We annihilated you. You two never stood a chance against me and Keith!”

“Annihilated, my ass!” said Pidge, “We got nearly all of your blankets, and we would have had the others too if you two hadn't cheated at limbo!”

“Hey! We all decided that match was ours fair-and-square!”

Hunk just stared off into the distance as Pidge fought Keith and Lance over the outcome of every match. Eventually, Lance sat back down and left Keith to defend their crown. His eyes had started drifting closed again, when he heard Pidge demand a rematch. 

At that, his tired eyes peeled open. Keith watched as Lance yawned, stretched, and said, “Okay, losers clean up. We can have a rematch tomorrow.”

Keith smirked at that, “Just so you two are assured that we,” he motioned between him and Lance, “Are the Kings at Rabbit Face.”

Lance stood up and tugged at Keith's arm, effectively dragging him out of the room before Pidge could respond. They walked side by side back to their rooms, the sounds of Hunk and Pidge bickering and throwing pieces back into the box echoing down the hall after them.

“Thanks for playing with us, Keith.”

Keith looked over at Lance startled. A vulnerable look covered Lance's face as he glanced quickly at him and then forward again.

“Of course,” he mumbled softly.

They stopped outside Lance's door. Something hung in the air between them as Keith stood there, not sure if he should give him a friendly hug or punch him on the shoulder or something. 

“I-” Lance started, his eyes stared determinedly at the floor, “I had a good time tonight. I'm glad you were on my team.”

Keith did not know what to say back, so he just nodded.

“Do you want to, uh, come in. I stole these off the table to mess with Hunk and Pidge, but we could try to make up a different game with them,” Lance said uncharacteristically shy, then added, “If you want.”

“Like- like a sleepover?”

Lance's face turned a shade darker, “I guess, uh, if you want to call it that. It's stupid, I guess. It's fine.”

Lance started shaking his head and turning back to his room door.

“No wait,” Keith said, taking Lance's arm.

Keith had not had anything like a sleepover since his family- since the accident. He chose not to count the nights he spent with strangers after parties as “sleepovers”.

“One condition,” Keith said.

Lance turned back to him, his eyebrows quirked into a confused question.

“I get to draw first.”

 

They both sat crisscrossed on Lance's bed. Their socked feet tucked beneath them and their fingers each holding a hand of cards.

“Um, go fish,” Lance said uncertainly, “Unless- does hopping on one leg count as a cliche dance move?”

“No, I'll draw.”

He did and pushed it into his hand. He looked back at Lance expectantly.

“Got any, uh,” Lance wrinkled his nose at his cards, “Constipated facial expressions?”

“You mean like the one you're wearing?”

Lance gave him a look.

“That one was too easy.”

“I guess I walked into that,” Lance said with a small smile.

“Here,” Keith pulled a card out, “This counts doesn't it?”

Lance took one look and barked out a laugh, “Definitely.”

They kept on playing until they ran out of matches to be made. They spread their pairs out around them. Lance had won by one.

Keith gathered the cards back up and shuffled them, “Round three? Or do you want to play something else?”

Lance fell back on the bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. Keith waited expectantly, his hands sifting through the cards.

“Do you ever miss earth?”

Keith's hands stopped. He looked over at Lance who was laying on his back, hands beneath his head, staring at the ceiling.

“Um, not really. You?” he asked even though he knew the answer, just shift the focus.

“What? You don't even miss it a little?”

“There's not much for me to miss.”

Lance pulled his eyes away from the ceiling to look over at Keith who was looking at his gloved hands.

“Shit, dude. I'm sorry.”

“No, it's okay,” Keith said, laying the cards on the bedside table, “What, uh- what do you miss?”

“Rain. The beach. My family.”

Keith laid down beside Lance, his position mirroring Lance's: eyes trained at the ceiling, back flat on the mattress. There was little room and their bodies were only a couple inches apart.

After a moment of thoughtful silence, Keith said, “What are they like?”

“My family?” a smile spread across Lance's face as he stared up, “Loud. Talkative. Nosy.”

“Sounds lovely.”

“It was,” the smile from Lance's face dropped, “I miss them like crazy out here. It can be so quiet. Sometimes when I'm doing something simple like pulling on my jacket or walking down a hallway when no one else is around, I can here my sister yelling my name or my older brother telling me to get out of the way.”

Keith was watching Lance talk as he stared at the ceiling above them.

“Tell me about them,” Keith prompted.

“My little sister is a pain in the ass. She's only a couple years younger than me but she acts like she's still ten. She would turn up her music real loud when I came into the room, or throw pillows at me on the couch. But sometimes when she’d get tired, she'd cuddle up to me like we use to when we were little. Or she'd let me play with her hair.”

“What did you do with her hair?” Keith asked confused.

“I don't know, braid it or just twirl it around.”

“You can braid?” 

“Yeah,” Lance smirked, looking over at Keith for the first time, before looking away again. 

Keith found it hard imagining Lance braiding some little girls hair, but the more he thought about it, the easier it was to see. And the more he imagined Lance's fingers in his hair, his hands on his scalp, pulling ever so slightly, tilting his head back so Lance could breathe his name into the curve of his neck, lips brushing his skin and…

Lance continued, unaware of Keith's drifting thoughts.

“And then there's my older siblings. They gave me hell, but I used to look up to my brother a lot before he left for college. Hell, I still do. I think he's how I got into flying. He used to take me for rides and we'd race down desert roads so fast. And my sister,” Lance huffed a laugh, “She would tease me all the time but when it really came down to it, she was my shoulder to cry on.” 

Lance smiled absently again, “I really miss her, especially now.”

Keith swallowed. All this talk about siblings made him think about how close he and his brother used to be before-

Keith cleared his throat, “I gotta go to the bathroom, do you mind?”

“No, you know where it is.”

Keith got up and made his way to Lance's bathroom and closed the door behind him. He let out a shaky breath and stumbled over to the mirror. With trembling hands, he clasped the sink counter. He looked up at his reflection dizzily.

_Get it together, Keith. You were doing so well._

He counted to twenty, breathing and focusing on the stimuli he was aware of to ground himself. The cold air. The smell of Lance's shampoo mixed with mint toothpaste. The thumping of his heart and inflating and deflating of his lungs. The faint sound of Lance shifting around on the bed in the other room.

After a minute Keith flushed the toilet, washed his hands, and walked out the door. He hoped he was well enough composed that it was not obvious he had just worked off a brief anxiety attack in the bathroom.

Lance pulled himself up as Keith closed the door behind him.

“Hey,” he said, “Could you turn off the lights while you're up.”

Keith swallowed then complied. He had not been sure if this “sleepover” was going to include him spending the night or not. He felt weird about the thought of sharing a bed with Lance. It was bizarre. He had shared beds with many people before when he was in foster care, and before that with his brother. He never felt this odd fluttering in his stomach. He told himself not to think about it, but that did not make the feeling any less apparent. In all fairness, he had never had a crush on any of them.

In the dark, Keith blindly made his way to the bed. He felt warm hands tug his wrists forward, guiding him to the mattress before pulling away. Lance laid back on his back and looked away as Keith laid again beside him. 

Keith gnawed at his bottom lip trying to think of something to break the suddenly heavy silence with, when Lance cleared his throat.

“How are you and Red doing now?” Lance asked, rushing through his words, “I've been meaning to ask. You guys seem to be getting along a thousand times better.”

“Yeah, we are.”

Lance nodded and the weighted silence resumed. It was Lance who broke the silence again.

“Don't get me wrong when I say this. Like promise me, okay?”

Keith furrowed his brow and tensed, “Uh, okay.”

“What is with the mullet? Like the crop jacket: not that bad really. The tight pants and high boots: fine. But a mullet? Why did you even think-”

Keith snorted out a laugh, slightly relieved, “What's wrong with it?”

“What's- it's a mullet, Keith! What isn't wrong with it? Seriously, your fashion sense is so questionable.”

“I think it looks pretty good. I don't pull it off?”

“You've got to be kidding me,” Lance said, “It barely works for you. Barely. Anyone else it would be a disaster. Have you ever thought about cutting it?”

“Keeping it up would be too time consuming.”

Lance gaped at him before gesturing wildly at the ceiling, “But it's a mullet!”

Keith laughed softly at Lance. Then Lance let his hands fall, one landing on his stomach the other at his side, knuckles brushing softly on the back of Keith's hand. Keith's smiled wavered at the contact and Lance did not resume his rant.

They lay there in a slightly more comfortable quiet, but there was still something hanging between them. 

Their hands rubbed lightly against each other and Keith twitched his fingers experimentally to see if Lance would pull away. He did not. Keith moved his hand again and, in some sleep-deprived bravery, hooked his pinky around Lance's pointer finger.

Lance immediately adjusted his hand, palm up, and took Keith's in his. Keith's heart was pounding. He could feel Lance's eyes on him and prayed that the dark hid the distinct heat that was rushing to his neck. Slowly, he looked over at Lance. Even in the nights he spent with strangers after parties, he never once held someone's hand in bed. 

_Chill out. This is platonic, Keith,_ he told himself, _Lance is just an affectionate guy. This doesn't mean anything_.

“Keith?”

“Yeah, Lance?”

Their heads rolled to face each other, noses almost touching. He could feel Lance's breath against his lips. Keith felt a distinct pull to just close the distance. His muscles ached to move a little bit closer.

Lance glanced down and Keith followed the gaze to their joined hands. He could hear Lance swallow. Keith looked back at Lance's mouth just inches away. He waited as Lance stroked his thumb over Keith's gloved palm. His body was slowly gravitating forward of its own accord.

“Why do you always wear these gloves?”

“What?” Keith's voice broke and tried to blink away his thoughts. Had he just about actually kissed Lance? 

“Your gloves. You wear them literally all the time.”

“I just need to be prepared, I guess.”

“Even when you're sleeping?”

Keith shrugged and looked away.

“Are you sure you're not just covering up some scars or something. That's not anything to be embarrassed about, you know. Battle scars are pretty hot.”

Keith felt his face growing hot again and he pulled away his hands, adjusting his gloves self-consciously, “I'm not hiding anything. I just need to be ready, I guess. I don't like when my hands get all torn up.”

Lance was looking at him through contemplative eyes. His usually playful gaze taking on more concern as he looked at Keith. The intimacy had Keith turning away again.

“You don't feel safe.”

It was not a question so Keith did not reply. They both knew the answer anyway.

Lance propped himself on one elbow and angled himself toward Keith. Carefully, he reached for one of his hands and, reluctantly, Keith let him take it. He watched as Lance's fingers tucked under the fabric of the glove. Lance's eyes met his in a question. 

He did not break eye contact or pull his hand away, so Lance tentatively continued. He carefully removed the glove from his hand, took the other and did the same. Keith swallowed as Lance reached across him to put the gloves on the bedside table with the playing cards. His arm brushing against his side as he pulled back to his side of the bed.

Lance took both of Keith's hands in his own, the warm touch sent thrills through his stomach. Hands explored Keith's palms, knuckles, fingers, before resting them in the space between them.

Keith did not say anything as Lance licked his lips in thought.

“You're safe here, you know. Right now, at least.”

Keith let the words hang between them as he wondered at their meaning. What did Lance mean by “here”? In some corner of space? In the castle? In Lance's room? In his bed? 

Keith did not know why Lance's voice had suddenly gotten low, like he was sharing a secret. He did not know why Lance's heavy lidded eyes were trained on him so intently. He did not know why Lance was suddenly much closer than he was a second ago. What he did know was how nice it felt to be huddled so close to Lance and how much closer he wanted to be.

It was a mystery to Keith what made him do it, or what let him do it, but he slowly moved his arm to wrap around Lance's stomach, drawing their bodies together. He rested his head on Lance's shoulder, eyes wide in shock at his own actions as he was sure Lance's were too. But Lance did not stiffen and push him off, instead, he let a long arm drape across Keith's shoulder. 

Keith could not bring himself to say anything. He did not risk looking up at Lance to see his reaction, so he just stayed there unmoving.

Surprisingly, he felt the exhaustion start to weigh on him. Despite the butterflies that frantically fluttered around his stomach, his thoughts were peacefully lulled. The gentle rise and fall of Lance's chest, the press of his arm, the heat of their bodies took all of his thoughts captive.

As his eyes drifted closed and his brain slowly turned off, Keith could have sworn he heard a low voice rumble near his ear, “Night, Keith.”

 

The first thing Keith noticed as he was dragged into wakefulness was the heat pressed against his back. The second was the dark skinned arm draped carefully across his waist, fingers lightly touching the skin exposed by his shirt riding up in the night. Keith's eyes shot open and he was hyper aware of every inch of his body.

Two bare feet were tangled around his legs. One of his socks had been abducted by the night. His back was aligned against a steadily breathing chest. One arm was slung around his waist and another under his head. He felt the ghost of breath tickle the hairs on the back of his neck in a peaceful rhythm.

 _Oh, fuck_ , was the first thing Keith thought.

 _Should I just pretend to go back to sleep or do I get up now and leave?_ was the second.

Then Lance's body twitched and Keith froze. He held his breath as he waited for Lance to wake up and push him away.

Instead, he felt a long exhale against the back of his neck and Lance's arm tighten around his waist, pulling Keith even closer than before. Lance's nose rubbed his neck and he felt lips brush against his skin. Keith's stomach did a flip and he felt all the heat in his body rush to the spot.

Keith quickly decided that he should probably get them out of this compromising position before Lance woke up to avoid an awkward encounter. He shifted away and grabbed Lance's hand to remove it from his waist. 

The effort was met with a soft whine that better resembled a deep rumble. The hand escaped Keith's hold and held on tighter, drifting absently up beneath Keith's shirt and exploring the skin of Keith's stomach. He held his breath as the fingers lightly drifted up and down his torso before settling lowly on his hip bone. The lips on his neck dragged themselves hazily from where his neck met his shoulder to below his jaw bone.

He was sure Lance was not fully awake but Keith could not help imagining that he was. He wondered how it would feel to wake up everyday like this, tangled in Lance, warm skin rubbing against his. He closed his eyes and let himself feel it. It was ravishing. Keith rested his hand on top of Lance's careful and relaxed his muscles.

He floated in the warm serenity for an indiscernible amount of time. The jitters in his stomach settled until they were nothing but a tingling thrill underneath the surface of his comfort. He tried to focus on every feeling and memorize it: the way their hands fit over his hip, the tickle of breathe steadily raising hairs on the back of his neck, the skin of Lance's stomach on his back transferring their body heat. 

Maybe Keith had just been alone for too long, but he was suddenly grasping for any way that this could become a regular thing. Sure Lance had started touching him casually more often, but a hand on his shoulder or back was not the same as this. This was intimate. This was something he would not feel comfortable doing with anyone else.

He did not know when he had decided that Lance could touch him. He was usually very reserved, but in this moment, and really any moment involving Lance, he felt the opposite. He felt vulnerable, which he hated. Maybe that was why he had picked so much on Lance, to try to distance himself from the feeling. 

He bit the inside of his lip as Lance shifted even closer, completely aligning Keith's back to Lance's body. He did not have it in himself to hate the vulnerability in that moment.

Suddenly, there was a skipped breath in Lance's steady breathing and the warmth behind Keith's back was gone.

“Shit,” he heard Lance whisper to himself, then after a moment he whispered again, “Keith. _Keith.”_

Keith did not answer, but instead pretended to still be asleep. The legs wrapped around his slowly disentangled themselves and the arm beneath his head was carefully removed.

He heard Lance swallow. He could feel the nerves shooting through Lance's body even though they were not touching anymore. Impulsively, Keith moved back his socked foot and rubbed it on one of Lance's calves.

“Keith?” he heard Lance whisper again, but still did not answer.

Lance jerked into a sitting position, bouncing the mattress beneath them. He took that moment to inhale deeply and stretch his arms in what Keith hoped was a convincing act of waking up. He blinked his eyes open and looked over at Lance who now had his head resting in his hands.

“Lance, are you okay?”

Lance nodded but did not raise his head to meet Keith's eyes, “Yeah. Definitely. A hundred percent.”

“What time is it?”

“Uh,” Lance leaned over Keith slightly to look at the alarm clock, “Eight forty-seven”

Keith bolted upright, “What?!”

Lance peeked through his fingers to look at him questioningly.

Keith had not slept in so late for as long as he could remember. Ever since he got on the ship, Keith kept up his rigorous morning schedule. This would be the first morning he wasn't up by five working out, showering, and cleaning up Red.

“What?” Lance said, face drawn in concern, “Are you okay? We're we supposed to do something this morning?”

“No, I just-” Keith dropped back on the bed, “I haven't gotten this much sleep in who knows how long.”

“Oh,” Lance said, “Well I'm going to-”

He practically fell over Keith and into the bathroom, closing the door with a slam.

 _Oh fuck,_ Keith thought, Lance was not just going to forget about this, was he? Fuck, why was Keith so stupid? He should have just pried Lance off before he woke up.

He doesn't know Keith knows, maybe he won't bring it up…

“Hey Keef,” Lance came out of the bathroom, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, “Ya wanna go geh some bref-fist?”

Keith smiled to himself from where he lay lazily on his side, “Some what?”

“Bref-fish!”

“Lance, I don't know what you're-”

Lance yanked the toothbrush out of his mouth, “Some breakfast, dumbass!”

Keith rolled over laughing as toothpaste fell out of Lance's mouth down his chin.

“Fuck you,” Lance said as he stormed back into the bathroom and spit.

Keith dragged himself out of Lance's bed and came to lean on the bathroom doorway, arms crossed. 

Lance’s shirt dropped loosely over him, revealing his shoulder. His shorts were still riled up where only one pant leg was hanging at full length, the other revealed more of Lance than he probably knew and it made Keith's face heat up. Lance's hair was a mess. One barefoot rest flat next to the other. Keith felt a small smile tilt his lips.

Lance's eyes flickered up to meet Keith's in the mirror.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” Keith smiled.

If Lance would let him, Keith could get used to this.

Lance ran fingers through his hair and stalked out of the bathroom. Keith watched lazily, too hazy from sleep to keep the smile off his face. Lance pulled on his jacket and grabbed Keith's gloves off the bedside table. 

Lance stepped over to Keith then grabbed his hands and swallowed. It was a lot more intimate of an action than Keith was sure it needed to be, but he could not pull his eyes away from Lance. Lance pressed the gloves into his hands all of a sudden, turned away and opened the door, leaving a mildly stunned Keith looking after him. 

Lance turned around to face Keith, who had not moved an inch, the ceiling light falling across Lance's skin ever so lightly showing the slightest hints of red tints, “Are you coming or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you loved it as much as I did. I think I may be able to finish this up before season 2 on Friday! I know we're all super ready for that!!! Ahhhh!


	17. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That fire and ice cliche I just had to work in

Keith knew that there were hundreds, maybe thousand of poems and songs about fire and ice. It was cliché symbolism at this point. It had been flipped and turned and prodded at every angle. The way ice burned cold. Fire froze with flames. The way each had their respective beauty. He knew that the love for the dynamic was an ancient one, mirroring the yin and yang. It embodied balance. It embodied a relationship of passion. 

What Keith was finally figuring out, was that he and Lance embodied it. 

He did not realize it until that fight on the Balmera when they actually physically and quiet literally erupted as fire and ice. It took that blatant display to shake Keith out of his denial.

It happened in a second, the click in his brain that shifted all of his confusing thoughts into place. Every feeling from overwhelming emotion to the slight fluttering in his stomach readjusted itself into a side effect of the way he and Lance just fit. Every shared look and touch made sense. Every plan they conspired over had reason. Every conflicting interaction had resolve.

They levelled each other out. Keith was closed and reserved where Lance was open and expressive. Keith was always running on instinct despite his efforts stop and plan. Lance developed plans despite his hesitance to execute them.

Keith was a container of the rage and passion of a hot sand storm while Lance was the comfortable drizzle of snow. It took them time to settle into it and let their personalities slide together, rubbing and clashing along the way, but now there they were. 

Keith realized this was no crush, no fleeting infatuation. This was not going to slip away into nothing like all his past had. This was more than physical attraction, though that was there too. He was not going to call it love, not yet, but now he was sure it could be.

 

The fact they were assigned to team up after that was no longer a surprise. They moved in wordless synchronization.

 _We really do make a good team_ , Keith thought.

Maybe Lance figured all this out weeks and weeks ago. Maybe all these moments that were building up between them had already made sense to Lance. Maybe he was waiting for Keith to catch up.

Did he already see where they were moving to? Did he see how their differences were complimentary? Or how their similarities accented that? They both were at least a little impulsive, but they were also equally protective but in slightly different ways so that it worked.

It was apparent as they made their way through the cave. When one was taking action, it was natural that the other took the defence. They never said a word, it was a given.

When Lance pulled him back from attacking and shared his plan on closing the bay doors, he could not help but smile after him. Keith felt the pull again at his stomach like with Blue. It was all clicking. He wondered if Lance could tell.

Keith, caught up in thought as they snuck down the halls, did not notice the guards walking down the next turn. Lance pulled him back, pushing him against the wall as the guards walked past, unaware. 

His skin was tingling as they held their breaths. Lance kept him there, pressed between his body and the wall. He could barely see straight.

“We have to get in that control room, but there's no way we can take down all these guards at once, so I was thinking…”

Lance went on to explain some plan involving air ducts and Keith just stared at his eyes as they danced with enthusiasm. Keith was so enamoured with this boy. He was so much smarter than anyone, including Keith, gave him credit for. And, God, he was so beautiful when he was excited.

“Hey, Keith,” Lance said, “You okay?”

Keith caught himself and tried not to redden. 

“Yeah,” he said, voice cracking, “Um, let's do that.”

He lifted Lance up and somehow Lance managed to pull him into the air ducts after him.

They debated a bit about which direction to go, but eventually followed Keith's gut. They crawled down the vents before reaching a dead end.

“Well, this is either it or not it,” Lance said.

Keith rolled his eyes as he crawled up next to him, “Insightful.”

He got his bayard out and triggered it into his sword, slicing it through the metal and began dragging it into a slow circle around them.

He swallowed as he leaned around Lance, stopping when he realized he needed to readjust to get behind him to complete the circle. Gnawing on his lip in concentration, Keith shifted closer. He tried to move past but Lance did not get out of the way. He met his eyes and his attention slipped away. 

Lance was staring at his lip and Keith was hyper focused on his movements at the realization. He released his lip from his teeth and watched Lance track the action. His mind started wandered. He imagined grabbing Lance's face, and kissing him then and there. He knew there was something important he should have been focusing on, but, now especially after his realization, that did not stop him from imagining the sound Lance would make. The way his hair would feel in his fingers. The taste-

"Uh, Keith?" Lance whispered, voice slightly hoarse. 

Keith felt his face flush bright red and turned his head away, running a hand through his hair. _Geez, get a grip_.

“You need to move so I can finish this," Keith said.

“Move where? There is barely room for one of us in here.”

“Just back up.”

“Fine.”

Lance shifted so Keith could reach, but he still could not see where the circle began.

“I can't see, Lance. Ugh, it's fine I'll just-”

Keith moved his sword to where he figured the beginning was.

“No, no. It's over here.”

“I know what I'm doing.”

Then they fell onto the Galra.

The rest of the mission they danced around each other as if their whole movements had been choreographed.

The air was changing and Keith was sure it was not just him this time. Lance was acting different too, was he not?

 

After the fight had ended and Allura gave her spiel in front of the monster, Keith was standing next to Lance. When the crystals started emerging, he instinctively took a defensive step in front of him. 

Once they realized it was actually a good thing, he relaxed his stance, but did not realize he was still standing in front of Lance until he cleared his throat. Keith jolted at the sound and then folded his arms at Lance's knowing yet questioning smirk. 

He ignored the look and instead teased Hunk for belly rubbing the Balmera.

A while later, he and Lance ended up cleaning up together while Shiro and Allura talked with Shay's people and Pidge set something up on the ship. Shay and Hunk were off somewhere alone and Lance had wiggled his eyebrows at Keith when they broke off from the group.

“I wonder how that's going to work.”

“How what will work?” Keith asked as he tried to scoot some debris out of the area they were clearing. 

“Hunk and Shay,” Lance said, “It's not just me that definitely thinks they're a thing, right?”

“Oh, they're definitely a thing.”

Lance chuckled and they continued working in silence.

“Hey, Keith?” Asked Lance eventually.

“Yeah?”

“Remember that thing you said when I got out of the healing pod? About like, a bonding moment or whatever?”

Keith hesitated, “What about it.”

“It's just,” he started, “I think I get it now.”

Keith's head shot up hopefully.

“I mean, I still don't remember it, but the whole 'being a good team' thing. I think I get that now.”

Lance met Keith's eyes finally and they held on to each other before Lance looked away again, “We worked well together today.”

Keith took a moment to look at Lance's open expression before smiling, watching as it mirrored back on Lance's face.

Then he looked back to his hands and shrugged, still smiling.

"Hmm,” he said, “Nope, don't remember. Didn't happen." 

His smile widened as he looked at Lance playfully. 

The way his face lit up was so genuine and so Lance it was just too much for Keith. He had to look away or he felt like he would explode, but could not stop smiling to himself as he tried to focus back on the task at hand, only to realize they finished cleaning a while ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to post the rest today, wish me luck


	18. Regress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, we can't have nice things... yet

After they got back, they end up having a lot more free time. Keith found that a lot of that time he ended up spending with Lance.

They did not talk about it or plan anything, but when Keith went to train, Lance naturally came along, and when Lance went to clean up Blue, Keith found himself in the hangar too, usually with his tablet or polishing his Bayard. Other times they were not even doing any particular activity, but talking about nothing or anything.

It was comfortable. Keith found himself developing a habit of gravitating toward him whenever Lance entered the room, mirroring how Lance started to shift closer and lean in a bit when it was just him and Keith talking. 

They still bickered. Their banter filled with teasing and nitpicking, but subtle innuendos and flirtatious comments (usually by Lance but occasionally from Keith) started taking up some of the commentary as well.

It had been going great. Keith felt closer to him than he had to almost anyone else in a really long time. 

Eventually though, after the team had spent a few hours at the training deck and then a couple more doing some other team building activities, the group had settled around the couches together. 

Pidge sat cross-legged on the ground, ferociously typing on her tablet, trying to develop some new algorithm for the translating program. Hunk sat on the seat behind her, casually looking over her shoulder every once in a while to give helpful advice and ask thoughtful questions. Shiro stood behind one of the couches silently smiling to himself, Keith liked to think it was about how well they had performed that day.

Lance and Keith had taken to what had become their designated spot on the couch. Lance sat with his legs spread comfortably and one arm draped across the top of the couch. His other hand was busy absently threading through Keith's hair. Keith, who had his legs crossed across the far arm of the couch and head in Lance's lap, pretended to read another Altean piloting manual while really just enjoying the feeling of Lance's fingers in his hair.

The room had a comfortable buzz that Keith found himself relaxing into. He wondered if this feeling was what Lance had been missing from earth. He wondered if this was how Lance felt with his family. He turned off his tablet and moved his head to look up at Lance. Lance smiled down at him and Keith slowly smiled back. 

He started to think back to how they got there, he and Lance. They used to be so at each other's throats and Keith would never have imagined that Lance would give him this kind of attention. He had stopped questioning the way Lance would touch him. Honestly, Keith craved it now. 

Every time Lance's hand lingered on his elbow as he pushed past him, he wondered what it would feel like if he did not let go, if Lance put his other hand on Keith's waist and rest his head on Keith's shoulder.

Every time Lance played absently with his hair from behind, he imagined what would happen if Keith turned around and bumped their noses together, what Lance would do if he leaned forward and pressed his lips to his. Every time their hands brushed, his fingers twitched to intertwine themselves with Lance's.

None of these things happened, but Keith found none of it hard to imagine. The way they had been moving around each other was so easy, but still hesitant. It had him wondering if maybe Lance was touching him like this on purpose. Maybe all the accidental brushes were not so accidental. Maybe Lance was suggesting something and Keith was supposed to be answering. Maybe Lance was waiting for him to- No, that was ridiculous. 

Keith tried to shake the thoughts away. He knew Lance was just a touchy kind of guy. Hell, he was always patting Hunk on the back and nudging Pidge and Shiro. These touches did not make Keith any more special than the rest of them. But sometimes, he could not help but doubt that.

Keith had not realized how long he and Lance had been staring at each other, until he heard Pidge snicker something to Hunk, breaking the quiet lull of the room.

Hunk barked out a laugh but was smiling sincerely as he clasped his hand around Pidge’s and said, “You're on.”

Keith looked over at the two just as Lance did.

“What are you guys talking about?” Lance asked suspiciously.

Hunk shrugged, feigning innocence, “Oh, nothing. Just the endless beauty of language modeling algorithms and how to accommodate for contextual anomalies.”

Lance rolled his eyes, “Then what was the ‘you're on’ about?”

Pidge smiled maliciously, “You'll see.”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Keith broke in.

Pidge wiggled her eyebrows at the two of them before standing up and putting her hologram tablet device into her jacket pocket.

“Well, Hunk, we better go check on that thing, don't you think?”

Keith wrinkled his forehead.

“Oh, yeah. Definitely. We should do that, like, right now. Wanna come with, Shiro?”

Shiro looked up from cleaning his bayard, glanced at Keith and Lance then at Pidge and Hunk. He slowly followed Pidge and Hunk’s beckonings and left the room.

After a moment of confused silence, Keith looked up at Lance, “What the hell was that about?”

Lance shrugged, then grinned, “I bet they're throwing me a surprise party or something to celebrate how great I've been doing.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “You've definitely improved the most.”

“Hey,” Lance whined, “What's that supposed to mean?”

Keith laughed before shaking his head, “Just accept the compliment.”

Lance pouted but then resumed working his fingers through Keith's hair. Keith could not tell how long they rested in undisturbed quiet.

“Hey, Keith?”

“Mmm?”

“I was wondering,” Lance started, but did not continue after a moment.

“Yeah?” Keith prompted, hopefully. Don't get your hopes up, he told himself. He was still sure he was kidding himself about Lance even having the slightest reciprocation of feelings for Keith.

Lance licked his lips, “Do you remember your family? Even a little?”

Keith froze. His body tensed and Lance's fingers paused in his hair.

Keith swallowed, “My birth family? No.”

Lance nodded, trying not to be deterred by the closed remark, fingers starting to move again.

“What about an adoptive family? Or did you just grow up in foster care? Or an orphanage or something?”

Keith sat up on the couch and ran his hands through his hair as Lance had, but his hands shook slightly as they tugged at the strands.

“Uh,” he said to the floor.

Lance scooted closer, bumping his knee on Keith's thigh.

“I had an adoptive family, before the foster homes and the garrison,” he said carefully. He tried to make it sound final, like that was all he would say about it. That was as much as Shiro knew, and he was still probably the person Keith confided in the most. But now here he was with Lance, feeling his body heat radiate onto his side. 

“Do- do you remember them?”

Keith took in a shuddered breath and put his hands on his knees, hoping he did not look as stoic as he felt. He looked anywhere other than Lance.

“Yes,” he said simply. He definitely did not want to lie to Lance, but he could not talk about this. He barely let himself think about his family’s de- the accident.

“We're you guys close?” Lance carefully placed a hand on Keith's thigh. 

Keith hyper focused on it. His stomach started to clench up and he felt like the feeling was going to drown him. He knew it was a comforting gesture, but it felt like he was being dragged underwater.

Keith coughed. The shaking in his hands was starting to escalate. He could hear his heart in his ears. There was a red tint starting to cloud his vision.

He heard his brother say his name. He could feel his mother's hand on his shoulder pulling him down down down. His dad’s smile behind his eyes started melting into an image he was not meant to see that day at the hospital. The sheet had not yet been pulled over his face and his Dad's mouth was torn up into a permanent grimace. His eyes had been opened by a doctor to look into and not yet closed. A hand pressed over his eyes belonging to another boy’s mother. She said his name over and over again but her voice was distorted.

Keith Keith Ke-

“Keith?”

His head snapped up to see Lance staring at him wide-eyed, worry dripping from his voice.

“Are you okay?” the hand on Keith's thigh squeezed quickly and rubbed in a coaxing gesture.

Keith automatically sprung up and pushed Lance away. He held one arm around his stomach and the other on his forehead as he paced slowly back and forth. 

_Breathe,_ he told himself, _fucking calm down and breathe_.

Lance looked at him hurt and confused and stood up, taking a cautious step toward Keith with one hand outstretched.

Keith took an equally measured step away, shaking his head and pushing uneven breathes in and out. In out. In out. In-

“Keith,” Lance said softly, not taking his eyes off him. Keith stopped pacing but gripped his stomach tighter.

In out. In out.

Lance took another step forward and this time Keith did not step away, but still tensed.

Carefully, Lance reached out and took the hand from Keith's stomach in his.

Keith stared into Lance's eyes. He felt vulnerable, like a deer. Like an open target. Like a boy sitting in the backseat of his friend’s car holding his breath, not totally sure what he was going to find at the hospital when-

His head jerked away. His heart sped up again and he tried to pull the hand Lance held back.

In out. In out. In-

Lance gripped Keith's hand tighter, actually, really tight. Lance was shaking his head ever so slightly and then said his name in a measured tone.

Keith kept focusing on breathing as Lance took his other hand. 

In out. In out.

“Keith,” Lance just kept repeating his name and it started to bring a soothing rhythm to Keith's mind.

He shut his eyes. He felt something wet between his eye lids.

In and out. In and out.

Something brushed against his cheek.

In and-

Someone took a deep breath in front of him.

-out.

He opened his eyes to see Lance's not inches from his own. He took in another calmer but still shaky breath before pushing it out slowly.

They stood there on thin ice. Keith could tell Lance was afraid that one wrong move would set him off again. He was not wrong, but knowing Lance knew that made his stomach clench up. He wondered if he would throw up.

“I'm sorry,” Lance whispered. The words barely made a sound. They were a ghost that barely disturbed the room, but it was enough to break Keith out if his trance.

Keith shoved Lance away, nearly knocking him to the ground. He held his stomach again, but now for a slightly different reasons. He could not stand to look at the pity on his face and he hated it. 

Why was he like this? Why did he have to do that now? Here? In front of Lance? God, what was wrong with him?

“D-don't,” he stammered, “Don't touch me. P-please.”

He started to stumble out of the room. He did not look back again at Lance's hurt expression. He elected to ignore the sounds of Lance calling after him as he practically ran back to his room and slammed the door. He chose to not hear the knocking and the apologies. 

He just needed a minute. Just a minute and he would be fine again. Just a minute and he could lay his head back in Lance's lap like this never happened. Just a minute and he could hear another story about Lance's family. Just a minute and he could listen to Pidge worry over Matt and her dad. Just a minute and Allura could tell him about her father. Just a minute, please. Just a minute.

He squeezed his stomach tightly.

In out. In out.

He could not tell if he was saying this out loud anymore.

In out. 

 

The next day Lance moved cautiously around Keith. 

He no longer brushed their hands together or held his elbow as he passed. He treated him like an over wound Jack in the box that was waiting to burst out.

They both stole glances when they were sure the other was not looking. Keith accidentally caught Lance's eye across the kitchen and it had Lance basically running the other direction.

He hated this.

 

A couple days went by and Lance had barely even looked in his direction. All Keith wanted was for Lance to pull him aside, just once, and not say anything. Just. Fucking. Look at him.

He wanted Lance to touch him again and stop moving around him like he was about to break.

 _We can still talk, Lance,_ Keith screamed to him in his head, _just not about that. Come back just don't ask about them, okay?_

He did not need to talk about it and he did not want to either. Shiro had always said something about leaving the past in the past, so Keith took all those memories and shoved them away. He did not need Lance digging them up. He did not need Lance carefully dancing around him reminding him of how broken he was.

He felt himself grow angrier at Lance the longer they went without talking. The less desperate he got for Lance to hold him and the more he got for Lance to yell at him. It was strange, but he just wanted to feel on equal footing again. He did not want Lance's pity. And if Lance was making him choose between that and unhealthy aggression, which Keith was for some reason sure Lance was doing, then Lance better prepare for a fight because Keith was not going to let him hold his emotions over him. 

The logical part of his brain tugged quietly at him as it told him Lance just did not want to hurt him. That Lance was hurt too by Keith pushing him away. That what they really needed to do was just talk. But Keith could not even handle the idea of just talking. He was not that kind of guy. Nope. 

So eventually, Keith snapped. He lashed out at Lance over something stupid, catching everyone by surprise. It was the first time anyone had heard him and Lance fight with any real bite in weeks. 

He saw the shock and hurt flash behind Lance's eyes and he almost regretted it. He _did_ regret it. But then Lance bit back and they were off falling back into their original routine, before any of this had ever happened. 

Keith stopped letting himself think of all the times Lance had touched him and replaced it with training and reading and cleaning. He stopped talking with everybody and blocked them out. He was almost worse with everyone than he was at the beginning of all this.

He hated every second of it.  
Almost as much as he hated himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did tag anxiety attacks for a reason


	19. Restore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, my summaries are really uncreative. This chapters p short

When everyone was in the room together their bickering was nearly constant. They all could tell it was starting to return to its original hostility. Pidge and Hunk shared confused looks. 

Keith was passing the kitchen one night on his way to training when he heard voices drifting out from the room. 

When he got closer, he heard Hunk ask, “But what happened? You guys were really close for a while there.”

“Yeah,” he heard Lance reply, “Look, I just pushed him too far and now he hates me again I guess. But, fine. If that's the way he wants to handle this, whatever.”

Keith left at that, heading to the training room again instead of his room. He had spent more and more time in there, avoiding the questions of the other paladins. Shiro came around some to try to get him to talk to him, once he gave up on that he came to get him to spar, then he gave up on that. He still threw him concerned glances every time Keith snapped at someone harsher than normal, but he stopped asking.

When they heard about Pidge's progress on retrieving Sendak's memory, they all went together. Keith waited it out as long as he could, but eventually being around all of them and Lance was draining. They were not even doing anything, but he felt awkward standing around with the people he had been ignoring.

 

When he found Lance, his chest nearly exploded. He upped his game against the gladiator that had mysterious set on murdering him. Fighting for his own life was one thing, but doing it to save Lance was another. 

Once the airlock opened his heart dropped. He flooded with rage. None of what was happening had felt real until they were right there, fighting in the face of death. The last words he ever said to Lance was not allowed to be criticism.

He cared about Lance more than he had cared about anyone in a long time and fuck the universe if it was going to have him open up to someone again just to kill them off like he was in some badly written sci-fi show. No, that was not allowed. Keith would not let anything end like this.

When he looked back at Lance and he was still there, he finally got over the gladiator. He opened the hatch and pulled Lance in. He took a moment to breathe before he was fired up again. 

“What were you doing out there!?”

“Who was that guy!?”

“He was trying to kill me!”

“Well, is he the Castle? Because that's who's trying to kill me!”

They gasped and screamed, running to go find Coran.

As they ran and yelled at each other, “You could have died!” and “Don't do that again!” their defenses were not up. Every concern and emotion was yelled between exhausted pants as they stormed down the hall. Lance seemed just as horrified at the idea of Keith dying as he did of him. 

Their concerned yells were them admitting to it and they both knew it. 

After that, with everything between Allura's father's projection and Shiro's trauma, there was not any time for them to really talk about it. By the time Sendak and the crystal were ejected, everyone was exhausted. 

He and Lance had been in the same room and not fought. It was a record for them given the past few days. He turned and looked at Lance, who hesitantly smiled. He looked uncertain about it so Keith returned it slightly before turning to go back to his room.

 

He was halfway there when he heard footsteps following behind him.

“Keith!” 

He turned around to see Lance striding determinedly down the hallway.

“Could we…?” Lance asked.

Keith nodded and tried to breath and prepare himself. He knew they were going to have to talk this out eventually, but he did not think he would ever really be ready. He did not know what all Lance would want him to say, or how much he needed to tell him to make it better. 

“Lance, I-”

“Don't. Don't apologise,” Lance said, “You don't have to.”

Keith stopped, blinking. Lance forgiving him on the mission in the storm was one thing, but this was another. This time, Keith had criticized Lance again and again, which had to have hurt after everything they had gone through. This had been days of Keith going too far.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, you're fine,” Lance smiled, but it slowly faded, “If anyone should apologize, it's me. I overstepped, I just thought-”

“You didn't do anything wrong, it's just,” Keith said, “not something I talk about.”

Lance nodded, “Okay. I'll back off it. I don't want to lose…” Lance exhaled, then looked him in the eye, “I miss you, Keith.”

Keith's breathe caught. Slowly it started to come back: the emotions he had been keeping down the past few days. It had built up, he was sure if he said anything at all he would start crying and he really did not want to do that.

He nodded then cautiously stepped into Lance's chest, letting him wrap his arms around him. Lance held onto his neck, fingers working into his hair. He shuttered at the touch that he had tried not to miss, but still had.

They stayed like that, embraced in the hallway together, only the hum of the ship and their intermingled breathing could be heard.

He let his hands relax onto Lance's chest and Lance tightened his hold. God, he had missed this.

 

They did not stop bickering but it did lose a lot of its bite. They did not return to how they had been. Lance did not touch him like he had before but he was not avoiding or tiptoeing around him either.

They sat next to each other on the couch during another board game night but they were not playing another team game. Lance knocked his leg on Keith's and smiled at him. Keith's lips tilted up at the corners slightly. He tried not to let himself be hopeful anymore at looks like that because looks were not touches. And those eyes had stopped looking at him the way they used to anyway. 

Keith and Lance did not resume spending all their time together, but there was something more raw about the time they did spend together now. He felt a little closer to Lance still. He knew Lance had forgiven him, but he would never say it straight out. Keith did not want him to anyway.

Still, when they were in the same room, there was a tension beneath the surface. When they settled in next to each other but still kept their distance, not letting their skin touch, there was a heavy silence that fell between them. It felt like they were both holding onto something they both wanted to let go of, but did not know how. 

He wanted to break that. Keith thought maybe if he pulled it together one night and shared everything with Lance, it would snap. He knew Lance would let him. He knew Lance wanted him to. But he did not.

 

He laid in bed most nights, running through scenarios of how he would confront Lance and what he would say were he to opened up.

Occasionally on these nights, he found himself reminiscing on how they used to be. He remembered Lance's hand running up and down his stomach. The heat on his back. The smell in his lungs. He knew they would probably never get back to that level of intimacy since Keith pushed him away, but he let himself remember it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be able to get this all done tonight


	20. Bésame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a space bar and dancing and Keith is probably drunk... Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little risque

The “space bar”, as Lance called it, was loud and smelled weirdly of raw meat. 

Allura had decided to send Keith, Hunk and Lance down to this planet to gather seeds and soil for the greenhouse and after they had loaded the material back in their lions, none of them really had any desire to go back. Except Coran and Allura, who were busy piloting the ship and keeping everything in order, the rest of the crew felt a little insignificant as Pidge worked at decoding all of the information from Sendak. Once Lance had seen this bar on the way down, he practically demanded they go in. He said he wanted to see if the drinking age in space was different from earth. 

Hunk and Keith both initially shot him down, saying how disapproving Shiro would be, but after a little wearing down, Lance convinced them to at least look around inside. Like, weren't they a little curious what a space bar was like?

Once they got there, they realized it was not much different than an earth bar, to Lance's disappointment. At a corner booth, Hunk ordered a huge plate of something that resembled nachos and they ended up ordering one round of a random drink from the menu. They had assumed it was just some kind of juice, but the liquid sent a tingly feeling down Keith's stomach and he found his thoughts had much more free range than he usually gave them. It took Hunk one sip to start gushing on about Shay. He talked relentlessly, unaware that Keith and Lance were not paying much attention at all.

Keith was leaning back in his seat, arms crossed, tapping his fingers along with the alien music. He kept his eyes locked on the taller pilot that kept casually throwing glances across the bar. Keith told himself he would not look at whoever had Lance's attention. He could no longer control how loud his jealous thoughts screamed at him, but he could still control how much they dictated his actions. 

But, that only lasted so long before Keith decided to look over his shoulder at this person. He followed his gaze, boiling. He did not want Lance looking at anyone else that way, they way he had looked at Keith only maybe a week ago. His eyes found a guy leaning on the bar. 

What was that guy that Keith was not? Why did Lance not look at him like that now? He knew the answer already. Keith knew he really was not worth Lance's time or consideration. Everyone knew that, especially after what he did. His jaw set as he and Lance both stared at this guy, but for different reasons. His chest was pounding.

Looking back at Lance, frustration was pouring out of him. Before he knew what he was doing, he cleared his throat and Lance looked over. He decided that if he could not train or do something else to distract himself, then he was going to drink.

They started out with one round of what looked like a more intense glass of alien alcohol, but then Lance got just a bit more tipsy and forgot personal space, leaning completely across the table, knocking over a menu, right into Keith's face. He could smell Lance's breath and could not pull away; the whole situation was slowly becoming completely intoxicating.

“I bet I could out drink you, mullet,” Lance slurred.

Keith smirked, he knew this was a game he could definitely win.

They got a row of what Lance was calling “space tequila” and a small bowl of a lime-resembling fruit. 

“Take as many as you can handle, and when you can't go anymore,” he tapped the bowl, “bite the lime.”

Keith quirked an eyebrow. This was not the most complicated drinking game he had ever played.

“Ready?” Lance challenged.

“I should be asking you.”

With that they started. It took barely any time for Keith to get a few shots ahead. Lance started to slow after three then two more and he was biting a lime.

“Look at that,” Keith said, leaning forward, “Another thing I'm better at.”

“Yeah well, bet I can still out dance you any day.”

“Maybe sober, but not in your state.”

“Like you're one to talk.”

What Lance did not know, was that Keith used to drink toward the end of freshman year, like professionally. It was before Shiro started mentoring him and he had just been invited as the token mysterious emo to some girl’s party. For some reason he could not remember, he actually went. Maybe it was the stress of changing into his fifth foster home in two months. Maybe it was the promise of alcohol, a release he had never had. Maybe it was a mix of both. Regardless, from then on he was invited to any party where there would be drinking. Let's just say he was an intense drunk and became very... free. He never knew who he would be waking up with, but it was never the same guy. 

Lance downed one more shot before he pulled Keith up from the booth. 

He could tell he was a little more level headed than Lance. His tolerance for alcohol was incredibly high at this point, but his head was a little fuzzy. He tried to tell himself that letting Lance pull him around like this was because of the drinks. 

Lance guided him to the dance floor and they stood awkwardly as they waited for a better song which did not come. Exasperated, Lance pulled his iPod out of his jacket with a wiggly eyebrow. He took it to the dj and they had a tense discussion about how the heck he was possibly supposed to plug Lance's iPod into his software. 

In reply to which, Lance took out some “space money” and threw it at him, yelling, “Figure it out.”

Keith could not help but smile to himself at Lance’s swagger. Keith stepped into his space as soon as he walked up, not totally sure where he was going with that. 

_I'm drunk, it's fine…_

“What are you playing us?” he slurred overdramatically.

“Oh, you'll know it,” Lance smirked down at him.

After a minute of waiting, the song finally came on. Keith recognized it quickly as the song Lance was humming in the kitchen the last night they ended up dancing. 

It was a lot more seductive than he remembered but hey, he was a horny drunk. 

Lance immediately started swaying his hips. He moved his body with much less grace than last time. He challenged Keith with his eyes and he rolled his in return.

Immediately, Keith started moving, but this time he was full of confidence. This was nothing like his uncertain sober movements. Lance’s jaw dropped and he almost forgot to keep moving. 

Keith was probably throwing a lot more sexuality into this song than he needed to. His hips thrusted from one side to the other, his arms drifted around him, accentuating his every movement. 

Soon he noticed Lance's eyes on him and smirked, cocking a high brow. He danced his way over to him and smirked even bigger as Lance's pupils visibly dilated.

Suddenly realizing their proximity, he could not resist what he did next. It felt like it had been so long since Lance had been this close. He missed the intimacy. He missed him. Because he was drunk, as he told himself, he let himself surge forward.

Keith flung his arms around his neck, but then moved them around his shoulders and down his chest to his stomach, eventually hooking confident fingers around Lance's belt loops. He tugged him forward, making sure his body did not break rhythm. 

Lance suddenly shook away his shock and threw off his jacket. Keith knew Lance would be pissed in the morning to have that jacket covered in spilled drinks, but right now he did not seem to give a single fuck. 

Confidently, he stepped into Keith's space, completely closing the gaps between their bodies. He thrived in it as Lance grinded his hips into his. He found his hands holding Lance's waist tighter as he raised his chin a little higher and opened his mouth. 

The gasp only barely made it to Lance's ears over the music, but he heard it and took the opportunity to put his hands on Keith's back. Well, a little lower but hey, they were drunk. 

They danced together clumsily until Keith decided to break the stalemate. 

He pulled Lance down by the collar and grazed his lips across his cheek up to his ear, smirking to himself as they burned red. 

He whispered the only words he could remember from Lance singing this song.

“Bésame esta noche,” he whispered.

And he was not aware of the conjugation. He was not aware that he changed “the night you kissed me” to “kiss me tonight.” He was not aware of the meaning of the words in the slightest other than “noche”.

What he was aware of though, was the way Lance froze. His body stiffened, but it was not the same closed off body language he had carried a week or so prior. This was more shocked and uncertain.

Keith, just acting on instinct (hey, he was the red paladin after all), pulled Lance’s earlobe between his teeth and swiped his tongue on the sensitive skin. He felt like they were the only people in the universe and Lance noticeably shuddered.

Dancing long forgotten, Lance broke from their position and pulled Keith to the hall near the bathrooms. They were only vaguely aware of Hunk’s whoops. Both of them had forgotten that they were not, in fact, alone at all. 

Once in the hall, Lance took hold of Keith's hips again, this time with a tinder firmness, and backed him into the counter behind them. Keith seductively licked his bottom lip and pulled it between his teeth before releasing it. He smirked after he watched Lance trace the motion.

“Dímelo otra vez,” Lance said, “say that again.”

Keith pulled him down by the neck and bumped their noses together, making sure to let out a soft breath over Lance's lips. The taller boy stuttered out a gasp.

“Bésame esta noche," Keith repeated.

“Otra vez.”

“Bésame-”

Lance let out a sharp breath and slammed his mouth into Keith's. His breath hitched as he tugged him forward. He knew Lance was gonna regret this, he could not believe he was letting a drunk Lance do this. He almost shoved him off... almost. 

But he just could not bring himself to do it. 

_I'm drunk too_ , he told himself. This is what he did drunk. Honestly, it was Lance's fault if anyone's. He was the one that played that song, pressed their bodies together, looked down at him through those heavy lidded eyes. What else could Keith have done?

Once he decided that he was not going to be the one to break the kiss, he gave it everything he had. Lance jumped in surprise at the change in pace but did not pull away. Not in the least.

Their kissing became a sparing match, like everything else they did. They fought for leading. They fought for being lead. They fought for who could take the shortest breath before pushing their lips back together.

Lance stepped in and put a foot between Keith's legs. He ran the tip of his tongue across Keith's mouth, a silent question that Keith answered by parting his lips to let him deepen the kiss.

Lance tasted faintly of ‘alcohol’ but still distinctly Lance. Keith was desperate for the sensation and angled his head to slip his own tongue into Lance's mouth. Lance shuddered in response and Keith breathed it in. He was flooded with Lance’s taste, his scent, his lips, his hair. 

But Keith was reassured in the next moment that he most definitely was the fire to Lance's ice because he had just started. He was just finding new ways to set Lance on fire, getting him to whimper like wood under a flame, when he felt Lance start to sag.

He pulled away to look at Lance with a victorious smirk, but Lance moved a hand to rest on Keith's face and swiped his thumb across Keith's lips, rubbing away the arrogance. Rubbing away the fight. Rubbing away the front of being drunk.

As Lance's hand ghosted over his skin, he realized he had started a sparring match in a much different arena.

He gently cupped his hands around Keith's face and the gesture had him sobering up. It was way too intimate for drunken sluttiness. He knew it was more than Lance's nonsense as well when he opened his eyes to see the dark blues he once catalogued only centimetres away. 

Slowly, Keith leaned in and captured Lance in a softer, more meaningful kiss. He felt the change in Lance's body as he released Keith's face to lightly drag his fingers down his body and settle, gently this time, on his hips. 

Keith sifted his fingers through Lance's hair, threading them softly through silky strands, something he had always dreamt about doing. He angled their heads to fit like woodwork. Their lips adopted a rhythm of their own. 

Lance slowly moved his hands down to below Keith's thighs and broke the kiss. Before Keith could ask what he was doing, Lance was lifting him up, setting him on top of the counter they were leaning against, and stepping between his legs.

Keith ran his hands from Lance's hair to the nape of his neck and they just looked at each other. Both tried desperately to think of something to say but they knew they worked better together without words.

Lance leaned in again but this time kissed Keith below the jaw. Somehow the touch seemed much more intimate than their previous kisses and Keith could no longer chalk anything up to just being drunk. 

The light touch of Lance's lips on his skin was a question: Is this okay?

He stretched his neck as Lance trailed his lips down to settle on his collarbone. He let out a soft moan as Lance sucked on a certain spot of sensitive skin. The sound encouraged Lance to pull a little harder until he was sure it would leave a mark before moved away.

Keith grabbed hold of Lance's neck one last time to press their foreheads together and just breathed in. 

He opened his eyes to make sure this was real. That he really was pressed up against Lance. That he really had just kissed Lance. Been kissed by Lance. 

He could not help the giggle that escaped his lips when he peeked through his eyelashes to see Lance staring wide-eyed at him.

“Dude, that's just creepy. Were your eyes open the whole time?” he asked quietly. 

His voice was rough and low, breaking halfway through, but mostly absent of intoxication. He briefly wondered if he had really been as drunk as he had been telling himself.

Lance's face redden.

“It's not- I wasn't- I just- !” he stuttered, pulling his eyebrows together angrily.

Keith leaned up to kiss them because he could now, at least as long as they were doing whatever it was they were doing. Lance shuttered out a breath and pulled away. 

Keith whined a little and Lance gave a sad smiles at that. 

“Keith, I can't kiss you.”

His face fell. Just like that, whatever Keith had been wishing for drowned. 

“Oh, god. I- sorry this was all, uh, my fault. I-I shouldn't have.”

“No wait, Keith. That's not -ugh -that's not what I meant.”

“Then what the hell was ‘I can't kiss you’ supposed to mean?”

“I just- okay, look. I've been feeling this way for a long time and, I know you are just drunk or bored or whatever, but you practically begged me besarte, like what else was I supposed to do? Say no? To you? After I've basically been throwing myself at you for weeks? And I know Hunk said I should tell you because you don't really get subtlety but I thought you already knew and that's why you were pushing me away and- Keith stop staring at me like that.”

“I'm sorry, I just- you wanted that? For how long?” he asked incredulously.

“Keith, come on. It doesn't matter. I've already taken advantage of you, honestly-”

“Shut up, you moron. I told you… whatever I told you. What does that even mean?”

“You don't even know?! Keith, what!? You told me to kiss you and you didn't even know? Oh my-, Keith-”

“Lance, stop talking I-”

“I can't believe I let myself do that, ay-”

“Lance, shut up. I-”

“What are we even going to do now that I've fucked it up. I'm so sor-”

Keith pressed his mouth to Lance's roughly to get him to just shut up and then slowed and settled for a gentle release. 

Lance's eyes were still staring at him when he opened his again. Keith shook his head slightly at the sight.

“Lance, I've been wanting that since before the Balmera.”

Lance had his mouth hanging open. He stared at Keith, then decided he was not lying. A challenging smirk replaced his confusion.

“Yeah? Well I've wanted to do that since the Garrison, so I win.”

Keith huffed a laugh at Lance's still lightly competitive response, then his smile faded to confusion.

“If- if that was what you wanted, then why did you flirt with literally everyone else?”

Lance considered him a second, “I didn't think you would ever feel the same so I guess- it never really meant anything with any of them, just my way of trying to move on. But then after that girl tied me to that tree and we got back and you were- don't hate me for saying this- acting kind of jealous and flustered. When I confronted you, it suddenly seemed like maybe I had been wrong and maybe you at least sort of liked me back. Right when I thought I might have a chance with you, you were the only person that ever got my full attention.”

Keith could not think of what to say.

“I tried to go out of my way to touch you because you would always get all red and, and you let me. I watched you, you always shifted away from any extended contact with anyone else but you let me get close so whenever I could be near you that's what I did. And you didn't pull away, until…”

Keith swallowed, “I'm- I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to push you away, I just can't talk about that.”

Lance nodded and smiled, “I get it. I do. I mean, it took me a while to figure that out, that you weren't just trying to get rid of me. Don't be sorry though, it's okay. I know it's not your fault”

Keith looked back and forth between his eyes, then leaned in and touched their foreheads.

“Plus if letting me kiss you like that means anything, then I think that counts as making it up to me.”

“Glad we've gotten that cleared up,” Keith snorted, rolling his eyes with a smile.

“You mean, glad I've cleared that up to you.”

“What? Lance, no. I definitely straightened that out. You would've backed away and never spoken to me again.”

“No, I definitely guided that situation-”

“Lance. Shut up, no-”

“Mi amor, you just tell yourself what you need to hear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I didn't fetishize Latin music, but I was listening to Addicted to You by Shakira before I wrote this and thought of Lance listening to it and then this scene happened. I mean, I hate when people sexualize Spanish so I hope I didn't...
> 
> Anyway, yay!! And we're nearing the end folks, thx for sticking around.


	21. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling this is the end folks, :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, this is fluff

Back on the ship the next day, neither of them moved to bring up their interaction. They danced carefully around each other, not touching and barely speaking. Keith kept planning to say something, but could not help but worry that maybe Lance forgot. Maybe the kiss did not mean much to him, despite what he had said…

Keith’s head was swimming and he found his way to the training room like he did when he could not think straight. He drifted through the first few levels of the simulator expertly, but once he got to level four and could feel his muscles burning from the exertion, he gave up.

“End training sequence,” he panted, leaning over with hands on his knees.

Slowing clapping from across the room caused him to jerk his head up.

Lance smirked at him as he said, “Done so soon? I bet I could even beat you today.”

Keith did not point out that Lance just admitted to generally being weaker than him because the look in Lance's eyes suggested that there was something hanging under the surface of those words. So Keith just quirked up a curious eyebrow.

“Spar with me?” Lance asked with a small hopefully smile. 

Instead of responding, Keith got into position. But, taking note of Lance's lazy stance, he loosened his own hesitantly. Lance quirked up the side of his mouth and halfheartedly threw a predictable punch that Keith ducked out of. But instead of aiming to punch Lance's gut like he would in a real fight, he moved to shove Lance's shoulder. Lance seemed to predict this, grabbed his wrist, and pulled him forward. 

He stumbled along without much resistance. Lance pulled him to his body and it felt a lot like the dance they had in the kitchen. Keith realized just how far away that seemed now.

This time they did not fall. Lance pulled Keith’s back against his chest, grabbing his other wrist. Keith knew exactly how to get out of this hold, but he did not. Lance's grip was weak anyway, and he knew that this had never been a real match.

After a careful pause, Lance buried his face in Keith's neck, his breath sending shivers down Keith's spine. His nose ghosted over his skin but Lance did not move to kiss him. He dragged the tip of his nose up Keith's neck to his ear then down his jaw. 

Other than the flutters and fluffy feeling that came with intimacy with Lance, the strongest emotion he felt then was relief.

Keith moved his hands from Lance's loose grasp, took his right hand in Lance's left and laced their fingers as he turned around.

Lance’s head dipped and he looked steadily at the floor. Keith tugged him forward by the hand and took the small half step forward that put their bodies only inches away.

“I thought maybe you'd forgotten again,” Keith said.

Lance looked up, awakened, into Keith's eyes, “I thought maybe you did. You were the drunk one.”

“I was the drunk one? You threw space money at the DJ!”

“And you danced in front of that whole bar like you were trying to get in my pants!”

“Well, I kind of was,” Keith said, “trying to ‘get in your pants’, I mean.”

Lance’s jaw dropped at that and Keith smirked at the speechlessness. Then Lance huffed a laugh and Keith smiled at the sound.

“So,” Lance tried unsuccessfully to clear his throat, “Does this- what does this mean?”

“Uh,” started Keith, “I don't - aren't you the one always bragging about being the best at this stuff?”

“I- well I mean- I definitely have a way with flirting but I've only just had one time things, and not even that often. I haven't even- I don't- I've never really had a, um, long-term…” his face flushed deeply, “ - or I don't know if that's what you want. I mean, I don't know what you're thinking but I think I'd like to, well, um-”

Somewhere in Lance's rambling Keith started laughing, and Lance stopped and pulled a frustrated frown.

“What? Don't laugh at me! You don't know what you're doing either!”

“I'm not laughing at you,” Keith smiled.

“Yes, you are!”

“Okay, I am-”

“Keith!”

“It's just that we may be the two worst people in the universe at figuring this kind of thing out.”

“Oh,” Lance said, looking down at his feet.

“Let's just not talk about it. That has seemed to be doing well so far.”

Lance bit his bottom lip pensively. Keith tracked the motion. 

“I- I don't want to mess this up, Keith. My abuela always said there is no healthy, um-” his already reddened face turned a shade darker, “relationship without communication and I know there're some things you don't want to talk about and I get that but could we at least talk about us? If there is going to be an, uh, us, I mean.”

Keith opened his mouth to say something, but did not know what. He wanted to tell Lance that he wanted their to be an “us” between them more than he wanted almost anything else. He wanted to tell him that this meant just as much to him as it did to Lance. He wanted to tell him that every time he was with him, or Blue for that matter, that it felt like coming home. He wanted to tell him how beautiful his eyes looked right then. He wanted to kiss away the uncertainty, but he could not. 

Instead he said, “I'm scared.” 

And he said it so softly that he was not sure Lance could hear it. He would never have thought he would admit to being afraid of anything to anyone, especially Lance. He had always kept his fears close and buried. Now, he found himself saying things he had not even allowed himself to think before.

Lance sensed this, and instead of smirking and teasing the mighty Keith for being scared of him, he rubbed his thumb over Keith's knuckles on their still joined hands. He smiled a genuine smile, almost identical to the one from the sacred “bonding moment”: reassuring, supportive, filled with care. 

“Don't be scared of me,” Lance said, “I won't hurt you.”

“It's not me I'm scared for.”

He could see Lance physically soften, his shoulders slacken and eyes reaching toward him.

“Keith,” he said pleadingly, certainty in his voice, “I trust you.”

“I don't want to hurt you… Again,” Keith said, “I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm still not-”

He was surprised by his own honesty. He felt like he was ripping his chest open. He felt bare and raw and he wondered if this was what people like Lance felt everyday. He did not think he could survive feeling this vulnerable all the time, but then again, that may just be because of the barriers he had been living behind. The ones that Lance had frozen and shattered. 

“It's okay, I know you're still figuring this out. Just, let me be there with you.”

And just like that, Keith felt his insides crumble. He reached up and pulled Lance down. He wrapped both arms around his head and buried his face in the dip between Lance's neck and shoulder and breathed in. 

Under the sweet mix of sweat and soap, he still distantly smelled of the wind and sand of earth. Keith was reminded of the night he spent in the cave where they found Blue. The tug he felt from the lion was all too familiar as he held Lance tight in his arms. 

He was so lost then. He was closed and defensive. He was living for himself with only Shiro to care about. He never thought he would care about someone like this. But he found Blue and he felt a pull, like there could be more if he let it in. He felt for the first time that he had potential to be more than just a soldier. 

Now, as Lance tentatively wrapped his arms around his waist, slowly strengthening his hold, Keith was sure he could do it. Unlike the Keith from the desert shack, he knew he could open up for Lance.

But as he felt Lance rest his chin on his shoulder, he realized another thing he had not let himself think about. He already had opened up.

It was not and would never be a rush of emotion, an explosion, a collapse of walls like he had expected. As he thought of Hunk and Pidge and Coran and Shiro and Allura, he realized how much they too wormed their way into the cracks in his walls. How now before he acted, he did not just think of strategy and the fight, but each one of them. Another thing Keith from the desert house would never have done. 

He realized that the disappearance of this defence was a long time coming. It did not just fallen down. Rather, each time he had opened up to Allura, laughed with Hunk, talked with Coran, conspired with Pidge, trained with Shiro, and, yeah, flirted with Lance, they each took one brick down off the top until he was left open and free.

Sure he was still scared because this was all new to him. He was not used to balancing judgement and reason with his feelings because he had not let himself care before. And in turn, he was not used to people caring for him either. But he was growing with it.

He thought he finally understood what Shiro had said all that time ago about the past. He did not mean to push it away, block it, ignore it; he meant to accept it and build his way from there.

He smiled to himself and pulled away from Lance just enough to rest their foreheads together. Lance slowly mirrored the smile that was surely showing on Keith's mouth.

He had not been this attached to anything or anyone since the acci- since his family died. And he was ready to feel it all again. Maybe not everything in that moment, and not all at once, but definitely slowly, letting the feelings settle down and rest in him.

“So, does this mean you'll let me…”

“Just shut up and bésame,” Keith whispered.

So he did, but this was more gentle and less unsure. It was not an attack or a desperation or a question like their last kiss; it was a promise. 

Keith exhaled into it, melting, and for the first time in years, he was ready to let someone else have a little control over him, and, to start, he was ready for that person to be Lance.

 

“Honestly, I can't believe this is happening.”

“Mmm,” Keith replied, kissing the corner of Lance's mouth.

“All that time I spent chasing after you at the Garrison and you hadn't noticed me-”

Keith scattered kisses along Lance's jaw.

“And now here we are. In space. And, damn, you're kissing me and this is so crazy-”

“Lance,” Keith drawled, kissing lines down Lance's neck. He let his hands drift under the hem of Lance's shirt. 

Lance sucked in a gasp and threw his head toward the ceiling.

“It's just- this is unbelievable. And you've been pining for me too, right? This isn't just some spur of the moment thing? I mean, I know that's what you said, but-”

“Lance,” Keith said a little louder, pulling his mouth away from Lance's necks to look in his eyes, “Can you please shut up.”

Lance smiled at Keith who looked up at him through heavy eyelids from a few inches below.

Then Lance broke the moment and said, “I think we have a really good height difference.”

Keith rolled his eyes and dropped his forehead to rest on Lance's collar bone.

“Really, Lance? I just told you to shut up.”

“No, I'm serious. You're, like, just short enough for me to wrap my arms around but just tall enough for my neck not to ache leaning down.”

Keith pulled his head up to smirk at Lance.

“You've put a lot of thought into this, I see. Now who's keeping count?”

Lance’s smile grew, “I have. I've thought about you quite a lot.”

“Ugh, shut up.”

“No, I'm serious. Those eyes, those lips,” Lance leaned forward and brushed his lips on Keith's, not quite a kiss but enough to send a chill down Keith's spine. 

Lance hummed, “Your skin, your hair,” he reached out and pushed a loose lock of hair from Keith's face before dropping his hands to cover Keith's on his waist. 

“These hands,” he leaned in and whispered by Keith's ear, “How they would feel on my skin. Touching me. Holding me.”

“Lance,” Keith breathed. His skin was burning and his heart thrumming.

“What, Keith?” he teased, “Haven't you thought about me?”

“Shut. Up,” he gasped as he threw his arms around Lance's neck, pulling him down.

He tugged at Lance's lips and moved his hands to hold his head in place. The way he worked his lips with Lance's was in accordance with how he had always imagined he would kiss him. He had played this out in his head a hundred times and with every movement he aimed to get that idea into Lance's head. _Yes, I have thought about you._

Lance gently pulled away to look at Keith, “God, you’re so beautiful.”

He tried to kiss his words away. Why wouldn't he just-

“You drive me crazy.’

Kiss.

-stop-

“I still can't believe-”

Kiss.

-talking.

“-that you really-”

“Lance,” Keith whisper yelled, “Why won't you just stop talking?”

“What? I have a lot to say. This has been a pretty eventful day.”

“We can talk about it later.”

“Oh? When? Tonight?”

“Lance,” Keith warned half-heartedly with a laughs.

Lance continued anyway.

“In my bed? I don't know if you remember last time, but-”

Keith’s cheeks reddened of their own accord, “Actually…”

Lance stopped and his smile dropped. Keith shuffled his feet a little, realizing what he just admitted to.

“Wait. What?”

Keith cleared his throat.

“What do you remember?” Lance gaped at him.

“Well, I actually woke up before you and-”

“What!?”

Lance's jaw hung heavy and his dark skin was tinting bright red. Keith could not help feeling endeared by the fact, but still mostly embarrassed from hiding this.

“I wasn't going to tell you, but since you brought it up...”

“Keith! And you just let me think I had taken advantage of you while you slept when really-”

“Okay, you are making it sound much more scandalous than it was.”

“I was cuddling you like a teddy bear!”

“You were asleep! And so was I for the most part!”

“But you didn't even wake me…”

Keith looked away, he felt like Lance was calling him out.

“Aww, Keith,” Lance expression suddenly clicked into place, “You liked it.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure you don't want to sleep over tonight. I promise I'll hold you again.”

“Stop looking at me like that,” Keith grumbled, trying desperately to bite back an embarrassed smile, “I hate you.”

“Mmhm, we both know that's not true.”

Lance was slowly leaning forward and they started stumbling back until Keith's back was pressed against the wall.

“Not after you pretended to be asleep just so I would hold you a little bit longer.”

Keith swallowed.

“If you spend the night again tonight, we could do it all again. But this time you could let me-”  
Lance's voice trailed off and his hands drifted down around the hem of Keith's pants where his shirt was tucked in.

Keith sucked in a breath. His thoughts shifted and wondered until-

“No,” Keith breathed.

Lance pulled his hands away, “Sorry, I-”

“No, uh,” Keith said, grabbing Lance's hand and lacing their fingers, trying to smile at him reassuringly, “Don't be. I just- let's not rush, okay?”

Lance relaxed a bit, “Said the guy who was begging me to stop talking so he could put his tongue down my throat.”

Keith wrinkled his nose, “Ugh, Lance,” he rolled his eyes, “I just mean- I'll spend the night with you-”

“Wait, really?”

“But I'm not gonna _sleep_ with you, not tonight at least.”

Lance softened, “Of course. I was just, I don't know, messing with you. Or flirting with you. Whatever. I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with,” Lance seemed to think for a moment, “Or anything I'm not comfortable with. I've never actually-”

“You're a virgin? You?”

“What? Does everybody think I just sleep around?”

“I mean, the way you talk-”

“Have you?” Lance interrupted, “Slept with anyone, I mean.”

Keith nodded but did not meet Lance's eyes.

“Really? I thought you said you hadn't had a relationship with anyone before.”

“I haven't.”

“Oh,” Lance said, “Oh, wait. God, did somebody-”

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

“Good, somebody was about to have something coming for them.”

“But I have had quite a few guys. It's never really meant anything before, but- I don't want it to be like that with you.”

“I don't want that either.”

Keith nodded, “I was wondering- I'm not ashamed of you or anything! But, could we maybe just keep this between us, for a little. Just until you know for sure...”

Lance smiled reassuringly, “Of course,” he bumped his shoulder on Keith's who smiled comfortably back, “But just so you know, I do know for sure.”

Much more carefully this time, Lance tilted his head down and paused a centimetre away, letting Keith close the gap. Which he did.

As their lips touched, they both started smiling too big they had to pull apart.

 

Maybe half an hour or so later, Keith and Lance made their way out of the training room and into the dining room where Pidge and Hunk were already waiting for dinner. Lance was trailing at a carefully measured distance behind Keith. They sat in their usual spots at the table, Keith's chair angled slightly towards Lance.

“Howdy, everybody.”

Neither replied but Pidge looked up from her tablet with her eyebrows drawn together.

Keith was studying Lance from the corner of his eye while he fiddled with his hands on the table. A smile kept tugging on the corner of Keith's mouth as Lance looked around the room.

“Oh my god, Hunk, you owe me ten.”

Hunk looked up confused, but then his eyes settle on Keith then Lance and said, “Dammit.”

Keith watched as Lance hunched forward, “What? Why does Hunk owe you money?”

“I bet you guys would get together by the end of the month and he thought you guys wouldn't confess until at least one of you nearly died. Obviously I was right and he owes me ten.”

“What!? How could you possibly know by just looking at us? We didn't even do anything!?” Lance threw up his arms.

Keith smirked and shook his head. So much for keeping it between them, but, honestly, Lance wasn't very good at hiding things.

Pidge smirked, “Were you guys even trying to hide it?”

“Yeah, it's all over Keith's face.”

Keith's smile dropped, “My face?”

“Yeah,” Hunk said, “You’re, like, smiling, which is not normal, and your heart eyes are, like, screaming Ed Sheeran lyrics.”

Keith dropped his jaw and it was Lance's turn to smirk at him.

“Awe, wanna come cover me up and cuddle me in, babe?”

“Ew.” and “Gross.” sounded from Pidge and Hunk on the other side of the table, but Keith now had his eyes fixed on Lance, scowling.

“Did you just call me ‘babe’,” he said disgustedly.

“Honey? Dear? Mi amor?”

“Stop,” he said, deepening his scowl at Lance's smiling face to push away his own smile.

Then Shiro walked in and took one look at them and said, “Well, Hunk. Looks like you owe Pidge some money.”

Keith threw his arms in the air and Lance laughed.

Allura and Coran walked in and Pidge grinned, “You guys hear the news? Keith and Lance finally did the do.”

“We did not do anything like that,” Keith's face burned bright red and Hunk laughed. Great, so now everybody was laughing at him.

Lance put his hand on Keith's leg, “Come on guys, give the guy a break. He's already been flustered enough for one day.”

“Lance,” the room groaned.

“Wait, were you two not already courting?” asked Coran.

“I'm happy for you Keith,” Allura smiled warmly at him. He smiled back.

Shiro walked past Keith's chair and gave him a brotherly noogy. Hunk leaned across the table to give Lance a friendly high five. They soon shifted the conversation away from them but Lance kept his hand resting on Keith's leg.

Maybe them knowing was not so bad. Besides, he could deal with a little vulnerability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm thinking this is where I'm ending because I think this concluded nicely. Also if I finished with the season, well, we know how that ended and it would be angsty and I just wanted a happy resolve. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for sticking this out with me!! I didn't think I'd get this far honestly, or write this much, wow. But ur comments and kudos made my day, ur the light of my life, byeee...
> 
> Oh btw, I had another two chapters that was basically more fluff and hanging out and stuff, but this ended too well. But I did include in there a conversation with Allura where Lance teased her about the thing between them ending cause he was Keith's now and Allura rolling her eyes and Lance like, oh come on I know you think about me all the time, to make it compliant with him asking about Allura in the second to last episode. Idk felt that was relevant.
> 
> Okay, bye for real! Thxx :))))


End file.
